Unfortunately this is not the first woman from his past that has come back to haunt me. Given the way he did handle it in the past scares the shit out of me. I can’t really say he cheated on me but he said some things to her that was basically emotionally cheating. He would say things like “I miss you too honey” or the one that really got to me “I will always love you”. Now i know most of you are saying why did you stick around? Well he changed and cut ties with her as soon as I expressed the hurt it caused.

I know… if he changed then why am I worried this time? He is just going about it the same way he did in the past, instead of talking to her in front of me he puts it off until he is at work and then he will call her, just like last time. When I come near his phone he gets super paranoid and that is what makes me want to look. Normally I never feel the need to invade his privacy but when he acts suspicious it gives me the urge to snoop. He has been pretty open about how he feels and that he won’t go see her without my consent but it doesn’t feel right.

Anyways this is long enough, my question is… Am I being too paranoid? Do I seem over jealous? And what advice to you have to handle this situation?

I’m a little sad to say that I lost the battle but am sure we will remain the friendswe have always been.  I thought about my emotional roller coaster & can only describe it like this:

If our marraige was a dead child, I have been treading water with that child in the desperate hope that it would come back to life.  I had become tired of treading water and it was time to let that child go peacefully & swim back to shore to get on with the next chapter of my life. What I am trying to say is that my marraige has died but I am still her to carry on & at 37, I have a lot of life still to live.

I’m sure my current sadness will disappear in time & we can be therefor our beautiful daughter.

Lx

so, my REAL question.. there is a guy.. that I really like.. and he rEAAALLLY likes me.. sweet, complimentary, just.. omg passionate and sexy.cute.. oooh he is just GENUINE.

he told me that he has had a crush on me for a looooong time.. and i did too, when i was in plays and he would play music for the shows..

but the thing is.. he is 15 years older than me!!!!
that kind of freaks me out.
I’m 24.. hes 39.....

how bad is that?
he seems to know about relationships and isn’t trying to be all pushy.. he really seems to care about my feelings and know what to and not to do.. .
but.. still..
15 years??
The last guy i dated was 8 years older than me… but 15??
I need someone to help me with this one..
the perils!!!
nothing is EVER ‘just right’..

and the in shade
neath moist dark soil
your ashes now they lie
leaving us with naught but tears
forever asking ..why?

For my brother for whom life became too much 20 feb 2009..

I miss you little one

I’ve been with my partner Tim for two years now. We have a distance relationship (about 1 and a half hour commute) which he does the travelling every time unless I go to see him on the train. We’re panning on gettin a house together September 2010. I have feelings for him but I don’t know if it’s love. I think it was a security thing because he’s 24, ready for a proper relationship. I’ve told him I love him and he often talks about marriage which I respond to. I am at university so obviously this isn’t going to happen any time soon.

And then there is Jack. I’ve known him for 7 years but I’ve never met him as we live about 250 miles away from each other. We’ve been falling out a lot recently because we’ve been trying to arrange a meeting and something always comes up and we get frustrated. We had a real bust up recently. Some things were said that shouldn’t have been said. Anyway, since this bust up, I haven’t stopped checking my phone, crying, thinking about him. He won’t respond to any of my emails, texts, phone calls. He’s told me he loves me before and I just am having some very heavy emotions with him and I don’t know if it’s love obviously because I’ve never met him. But I always wonder what it would be like to meet him, be with him, kiss him. I sort of feel like I’m cheating.

But I don’t even know if anything would come of it. Tim has no idea about this. He knows I have a friend Jack who I want to meet. He was okay with this. I’m just waiting for myself to cry in front of him because of Jack or be down and he’ll wonder why…

I don’t have the heart to break up with Tim. I’m his second girlfriend and he is so in love with me. Expecially with the distance I wouldn’t know how to. I don;t even know if Jack will forgive and start talking to me again but I feel lost without him. I even had to stop myself from gettin a train to where he lives, ringing him and saying ‘I’m here. What are you going to do about it?’

Any general advice would be good.

Please help…

I have been seeing this guy for a while now and its going really well, he says he loves me and I mean the world to him.

But when I spoke with him last Wednesday he said just to worn you i’m going to the mountains on Friday so I won’t have signal, but I will try and go somewhere where I can get signal while i’m there, obviously so we could communicate. So I phoned him on Friday and it went straight to answer phone so therefore no signal so I assumed he was in the mountains. I then phoned him Saturday and he said he did not go to the mountains so why was his phone off?

Thanks

I am 19. My boyfriend of 2.5 yrs is also 19. We were dating for almost a year when I moved in with him and his parents. I moved out in May of ‘09 because I felt that we needed some time apart (but still in the relationship) for him to gain some appreciation for me. There were many incidents that gradually broke my trust down, from talking to the ex of his previous serious relationship, to being just plain inappropriately to other female friends. Because of this I check his e-mail, his networking pages, and on occasion his phone. I have not found anything serious in quite a while but I think that the trust issue is still putting stress on our relationship. I am beginning to trust him more but sometimes, he seems to be uncomfortable about being himself around me. He will “fib” about stupid, little things. To me, a lie is a lie, no matter how large. And I know him so well at this point that I can tell when he is lying and I do eventually get the truth out of him. But I just wonder if I am still being too paranoid by going through his personal e-mails, pages, etc. or if i still have valid reason. The last time I found him hiding anything was probably 3-4 months ago. But the last major event was about 6-8 months ago.

I absolutely love him and he is my best friend. As I have told him before, I can trust him with my life, but not my heart...not yet anyways. Should I continue to “snoop” (which causes arguements) or should I begin to trust him?

Anyone that has been in a similar situation, PLEASE offer advice. It would be very much appreciated.