Female Forum

We have all had times when as parents, we have had to have the unpleasant task of disciplining our children. Sometimes they do things or behave in a certain way that is unnacceptable, and they have to be told off. How far do you go though? For example do you take away the playstation, or ban tv? Maybe you ground your child for a certain length of time. Have you ever punished your child by sending them to bed early without any tea?

I had to ground my youngest son about 2 years ago. He’d gone to see a friend who lives 2 doors away. I told him if he wasn’t there to come home. After about 20 minutes there was a knock on the door and this friend appeared asking where my son was. To say I panicked is an understatement. To cut a long story short, he’s walked all the way across the park at the back of our house, walked up a main road, crossed the road and gone to another friends house. I went looking for him with my OH and that’s where I found him. I grounded him for 2 months. It was November and it was cold and foggy, plus it was about 4pm so it was starting to get dark. I was getting ready to call the police because I thought he’d been abducted. I was actually ill that night. I had a really high temperature and a sore throat. That made him feel really bad and he’d never done it again.

I don’t beleive in sending kids to bed early and especially not without tea. I think that is a very oldfashioned method, and tbh, it seems a bit cruel.

How do you discipline your children?

I don’t like the thought of making my kids go hungry, whatever they have done.

For the little ones, I send them to sit in the corner if they have been naughty. If they fight over a toy, neither of them gets it. If they throw a tantrum (youngest is about to hit the terrible twos) then they go to their room until they calm down, but I bring them downstairs to say sorry then have dinner/supper.

For our eldest I will either ban him from the DS, or keep him indoors. He doesn’t need much discipline tbh, he’s a good kid.

Never sent them to bed without their tea here....that would be way too cruel.

As my youngest is 18 (almost) my days of disciplining are well and truly over.  He is now of an age where he has to suffer the consequences of his own actions and it can be a cruel old world out there.

Thinking back though, I was never one for smacking...a tap of the hand yes but actual smacks no.  When they were small it was time out in their rooms to think about what they had done and then when a little older they would have to forgo tv or computer time.

I don’t agree with smacking either CC. I don’t have too. My kids know by the tone of my voice when they have gone too far. And I could never send them to bed without any tea either. I know someone who did that once, and I really thought it was cruel. She sent him to bed about 4pm without anything to eat!

I know I don’t have kids and probably don’t understand like a parent would but I was sitting in my cousins barbers shop a few days ago and a small boy was getting his hair cut. It was suggested his dad go first as he was only about 2 so it looked like it was nothing to worry about if daddy was ok. His mother insisted otherwise and while he was kicking up a fuss his mother slapped him hard on his hand which helped the situation greatly as you could imagin, all while there were sharp scissors near his head, when he finally calmed down and let the haircut carry on his mother announced no Macdonald’s which kicked him off again.

It times like that when I wish I was a confrontational person

In truth my little brother is the closest I come to disciplining a child I believe in consistency and giving an explanation, I think you should talk to a child like a little person with their own thoughts and feelings not too talk at a child or worse swear at them. There is an age appropriate level of what a child can understand.

How effective is screeching at an 18month old to shut the f up really? My neighbor dose this and I really feel for that poor baby.

Don’t get the “obsession” about tea- do all the kids have tea before going to bed?
Mine never. Just asking.

Hey Doll,

In England ‘tea’ sometimes is a reference to dinner. Its a slang term the British use sometimes. Hope that helps your question a little.

And Kezflake, I know exactly what you mean with people shouting at their children. They don’t understand ‘what’ they have done wrong. I sometimes watch Nanny SOS, and that is the main problem most families have. They dont communicate. And a child of any age would want to ‘understand’ what the have done wrong, and like she says, it is important to give them warnings as well. Don’t just go straight to ‘Oh, you’re in the corner’. It has definitely taught me how to approach children. Especially since I might want to become a kindergarten teacher.

Ok, I see- I knew that but had no clue it was a British board ))))
Anyway- what I never do is denying food to my kids. Never.

Hi Doll

We aren’t a ‘British board’ - we have a real mix of members, and most of our traffic actually comes from the US. It’s always interesting to learn new cultural nuances such as ‘tea’ before bed, though isn’t it?

Where are you from? Maybe when you get a spare moment you could introduce yourself?

Done))

Anyway,I do have to (sometimes) discipline the boys, now just the younger (he is 15)- he is crazy about sport (BJJ) so once I just denied him Jiu Jutsu practice for almost a month. He suffered of course but since then- never ever. What did he do? Didn’t go home on the bus and stayed at his friend’s house without having called me. It is the US province and you don’t know your kid do this)))
But no food punishment or “go to your room and stay there”. Mostly I talk to the boys and it always work.
Here I have to make it clearer- I had no major problems with my kids. They are wonderful sons- understanding and well behaved.Guess I am lucky))))

doll - 07 Jun 2009 11:34 AM

Mostly I talk to the boys and it always work.
Here I have to make it clearer- I had no major problems with my kids. They are wonderful sons- understanding and well behaved.Guess I am lucky))))

I think the key point is that you say you talk to them, maybe a little luck too, I would associate sports mad with a lot of self discipline.

Funny when I first joined I always thought of FF as an American / Australian Board but I love the mix.

Yes, I talk. This is what I always say to all the parents- do talk to your kids, they ALWAYS listen! Even if we think they don’t- they do!

Hi i have had 6 children and dont believe in smacking...take their fav things away and when you threaten them with something CARRY IT OUT !!!

make sure they know you mean what you say or otherwise they will walk all over you.........

as their life pans out they will respect you and realise when they have their own kids how reasonable you were......also how hard it was for you........

when i was young i got a smacked Ass

sometimes i think it worked as i never did the thing again but with having no brothers or sisters..........there was nothing to compare it to…

so be reasonable and depending on their age respect your children as you expect them to respect you..im not saying treat them like adults but let them have their say and explain why they did what they did…

sometimes you will be surprised by their answers.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

good luck and good question.........................