Female Forum

Ive been seeing this guy on and off for a few years and still dont know where i stand Last night decided i would tell him that i loved him in a joke i said i was mad about him or i was mad and he told me i was a loonie Ive never slept over at his so tried to ask again by saying how about us seeing how long we could last the night and he said i had stayed late enough as it was 2 am and all i was doing was asking for more all i could do was laugh When i was leaving i asked when i was next seeing him as some one is off work he has to do extra next 6 to 12 months and not sure on his weekends off but decided on my birthday the middle of the week and in july To me is a long time is it too pushy of me to invite him down on a nice night for barbie at tea or ring him asking if hes off that weekend Should i ask him where i stand with him or every now and then keep dropping the hint im mad about him to see how it goesThanks for reading and hopefully replying xxxx

If you have been seeing each other for a few years I think you should be in a position were you can ask a question like this, is he the sort of guy that can take a hint or needs a bit of a push? I also think July seems a long time away even if he is working.

I do think you should ask him were you stand, I always believe in being direct when you are in a relationship but I know I am asking a direct kind of guy so if you think just coming out and asking will be something he is comfortable with then just ask where to you see the future of the relationship going. I do think there are some guys that don’t like to commit to a question like this. If he seems keen to come along to your BQ or event just to spend time with you or at least seems sincere about telling you when his next weekends off are then I think that is a good sign that he has positive feelings for you too.

What do your instincts tell you about this relationship?

I think he is not interested in a relationship and if he were you would be a couple by now. You had years and he had the opportunity to answer your “hints” in another way than he did, creating a basis, but he didn’t. Some people are slow or shy or whatever, but for years? You sleep with him I just assume, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he would look for a way around it, putting it off, giving no clear answers (or even lie) and you just carrying on like it is now (never experienced it, but that’s what you read a lot...). If you don’t well… a miracle there didn’t happen anything during the nights you visited him by now. Maybe the direct way would be the best then. Your decision, trust your own evaluation.

a couple of years on and off with someone who won’t even let you stay the night is a long time. i think you shouldn’t worry about being pushy because you deserve to know where you stand. it’s best not to do this after lovemaking. maybe a casual meet up for coffee? this way, there’s no pressure whatsoever on both of you.

You always have a right to ask where you stand. Don’t waste your whole life waiting for him to be “ready”. Find out what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling about you .

In my opinion it is always easier to ask something directly as long as you pay attention to the time and the place. Since you are a couple you should be able to talk about everything freely.