Female Forum

Well I wonder how it is in other countries. I don’t know how much a forum for females says about the general attitude to this topic in the whole of Germany, but there seems to be a large number of women who think all men are useless beings and to blame for all. (young people in their twenties and teenagers predominantly) There seem to be hypocritical standards as well. So if a woman says, I slept around but still love him the reaction is more like - well don’t tell him and carry on. If a guy betrayed a woman it’s more like - leave him at once! He isn’t worth being with you. I hear that so often ... if a guy does something the poster considers as bad or breaks up with her, the majority goes for “he isn’t worth being with you”. I mean it can be even a text of 3 tiny sentences…
The general explanation is just that men are just like that - they betray, they lie, they cause problems, you can’t expect him to...because that is just like men are. In most of the cases they just refuse to see it from another point of view as well, or don’t generalise form one single experience.
Are you even able to find someone if that is your initial point? The overall atmosphere about love in Germany seems to be very negative.
I kinda never thought like that, not even in my youth. This way of thinking is so strange to me…

I think this attitude about men is simply based on statistics, more men do tend to sleep around, for alot of them its simply programed into them by nature, they have trouble keeping their bits in their trousers!, and unfortunately they have got a name for themselves and everyone generalises that most men are like this and theyre not worth it.

Of course women do the same, probably not as many women as men, but they do but the minority tends to be smaller so women tend not to be generalised in the way that men do.

Just the same goes for drinking, until recently it was men who were portrayed as heavy drinkers, but now women do the same, but the difference is i think society excepts a drunk bloke staggering around at 1am, but if a woman is legless its a bit of a disgrace.

Mh, I would like to go with statistics, but I need to see those first^^ do they exist? Would be interesting. Well… I don’t know how this came into being. Cause I see what is happening around me and that is that women are not even an inch better than men when it comes to betraying. Maybe they just manage to hush up about it better than men do - that is an option and I agree with that.

Just found sth.
http://www.authorsden.com/categories/article_top.asp?catid=57&id=28879
- well not much difference there indeed is it?
http://searchwarp.com/swa235060.htm
http://www.isnare.com/?aid=153270&ca=Cheating
I would understand if it wasn’t for this small percentage, - so if we follow this way of thinking, about the same amount of women are not worth it…

Those sites all agree on the percentage, well maybe they’ve even got the same source, I don’t know. My impression wasn’t that wrong then.

Well anyway, I just talked about Germany, do you also notice this downfall in your country? (negative atmosphere concerning love and relationships) I just encounter this pessimism everywhere - it’s horrible. Also when you look in the faces of the people on the street, all so miserable. You are lucky if you see happiness in so.else’s a face over here. I don’t think it’s the same everywhere though.

edit: those statistics are interesting as well:
http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html

edit2: by the way, I don’t know how you see it, but those numbers are shocking, not because it’s shown that women act similar to men, but because of the frequency of infidelity in marriages at all… I don’t know how you see it, but it struck me, though I knew it was not a small number… on the other hand deriving from what I see and partly how people marry - what reasons they have, it shouldn’t be so surprising at all… maybe it’s different seeing it black on white rather than just sense such a development.

I have noticed a definite trend on tv particularly in children’s shows that boys are portrayed as childish, dependent and not that bright while girls are portrayed as sassy, individual independent and smart.

It makes me wonder how this may affect a boys confidence growing up.

I agree with cat’s comment here that it acceptable and normal to see a man wandering around at 1 am but for a women it is a disgrace, there are very set rules in whats is good for one but not for another.

I grew up in a male hating household both my mum and aunt had been severely wronged by men and made sure everyone knew about it, we all lived together at the time. I found this attitude difficult to understand, it seemed irrational as grew up and began to date myself.

I am also annoyed by the attitude of women who are on the lookout for the perfect man, I feel like shouting look in the mirror are you perfect most probably not or even worse women who demand to be treated like princesses, would a woman stand from it from a man absolutely not yet all these are portrayed as ideals on TV.

As for cheating there seems to be a stereo type its easy to say all men are cheats once you have been wronged yourself but I think sometimes people who say all men are this all women are that need to take a good look at themselves to see why they are attracted to people who do whatever to them in the first place.

I think it depends on who’s eyes you are looking through.

If listening to women discussing the topic they tend to single out men as the perpetrators yet hearing the male side it is women.

How often have we listened to comments from men stating that women are only out to trap men. That we use sex to our advantage etc etc etc? How often do we hear the comments from women that men only have one thing in mind?

Is it perhaps that people in general are becoming wary of relationships simply because they perceive a partnership as being temporary now, rather than a committed thing?

Why do people get married when the divorce rate is so high and why is the divorce rate so high?

It was suggested on a show my daughter was watching that we have all become very confused in our choosing of partners, simply because our instinct of being drawn to someone through scent, is affected by the use of perfumes in deodorants, shower gels, shampoos etc. Could it be so simple?

It is my opinion that the media has a lot to answer for and this includes the subject matter of movies, soapies and series. It is depicted in a lot of these that it is normal to have multiple sexual partners, have affairs, lie, cheat and not be honest with yourself let alone your partner. Why is it that its so popular to not trust your partner that they would even develop a system for your mobile phone that you can track the whereabouts of your spouse, girl/boyfriend etc? All its doing is promoting the mind set that people can’t be trusted.

Where is the love?

oh kez^^ I first didn’t know it was you, cause of your new avatar… :D
Yeah, the perfect man thing and princesses also do my nut in. The TV though can only have this effect, when they are still not sure about themselves, when there is a void to fill. Obviously it’s the case with a lot of people, who don’t make the effort trying to find out about themselves and what they really want. The easier way is popular^^ just do it like it s shown on TV or how the majority does…

Sometimes I think people are just in a relationship because they just want it to work out so badly, want a relationship and what it means to them, the feeling that they’ve finally found someone and sometimes simply don’t want to admit that it doesn’t work out.

About the divorce rate, I think that people just don’t put as much effort into it any more compared to maybe 50 years earlier. Values changed probably, situation changed.

Well, scents may have some effect, but I don’t believe in that at all. It’s absolutely nothing I would be interested in, how someone makes himself smell…

As stated several times, I also do think media has a big influence but isn’t to be blamed in the end, because people still decide on their own. And on the other hand, if this wouldn’t be so frequent, I don’t think that movies about adultery and cheating would be internationally so successful. There must be a base in reality for that or it would be boring to watch. If it s totally out of focus and appealing to nobody there would be no point in producing movies like that.

All so complicated :S