So the placement was for a month or two ...it seems as if he will be here for a year!
Background.
S. is 16 nearly 17 he is gay and has transsexual/transgender issues..
his mother and father are divorced
He lived with his father until the father gave up thier house to move in with a new GF in a 1 bed appartment.
the mother is depressed and on meds has made serveral suicide attempts and is known to be guilty of some child abuse re her son..
S has lived with us since nov and until last week niether parent had contacted us and niether parent has made any attempt at payment for his stay here or given him pocket money..
The last thursday his mother phoned , his father came round this week tuesday..
Both knew that yesterday S had to go for an exit talk with the child services crisis team..
Niether turned up.
In her phone call the mother told me all about how awful her ex is how he does not keep his word or pay his bills or think of anyone but himself. She told me how hard it is for her to cope, how depressed she is, how she struggles with the situation..
But that she loves her son.. in her words he is and will always be her son she is his mother and no one else loves him as much as she loves him, and that she has rights as his mother..
So I mentioned his pocket money and she pleaded poverty telling me he ex keeps her poor with his miserly alimony payments.
The father came round and instead of saying hello son how are you? he shoved a wad of letters under S nose and said ´look what that bitch has done now, the scheming coniviving cow, shes sent the baliffs round because I got a bit behind in my payments..I have to pay the crisis team for the time you spent there and now this on top I cant cope with all of this what am i supposed to do´?
Then he started going on about how much problems all ‘this’ caused him and how S should just come home.. ( to what? he is in a 1 bed flat)He also went on and on about his rights..
I have told both his parents.
‘ Your son is 16 , at 16 he should be at school and at home on his PC, chatting to friends, having a laugh, going off with mates at weekends ect ect..
What he should not be doing is refereeing your hateful spiteful nasty divorce.. You both use him to score points off each other and he is just a pawn in your sick twisted world and it stops right now because I wont allow it.’.
‘ You both talk about your rights but seem unable to realise that rights and responsibilty walk hand in hand if you want rights step up and take responsibilty for your son.
If not shut up and go away.
Of course he says nasty things and acts out, thats because he is angry and hurt by the two people he loves most and you two are so busy with your own spiteful rowing you cant even see what you are doing to him’
I have now got his father to agree to put money into S account each month for pocketmoney/clothing allowence. ( his father still gets family allowence for the boy).
My OH went to the exit talk yesterday He has told family services that we want nothing from the parents but S must get his pocket money on time and his parents must pay his school fees.
Thats it.
They said we are unique .. in taking on a child with these problems and age and not expecting anything in return,
I am not a people person at the best of times and this has just re-enforced my loathing.
I am sickend by these peoples lack of care compassion or understanding of thier sons needs even down to giving pocket money..
It is no wonder that there is so much hate in the world, I mean what chance do kids like this have to develop any other emotion but hate when they are just abandoned by those who are supposed to love them....
