Female Forum

It would seem us women are not very good at accepting compliments. An article I read recently said that whenever women recieved a compliment on their looks, they replied that the person doing the complimenting obviously needed glasses!

I must admit I’m guilty of this. If, (and it’s rare) that I get a compliment, I think to myself: “are you blind? I look awful. My hair is a mess, as usual, and my skin looks dreadfull, as usual”. I then spend the next 10 minutes putting myself down and pointing out all my other faults, (of which there are many ) see? I did it then.

The trouble is, if we do this kind of thing all the time, eventually people will stop bothering alltogether. What’s the point of saying someone looks nice, if your compliment is thrown back in your face all the time?

Do you do this kind of thing?

For sure! I think there’s a couple of reasons for this for me, but over the last couple of years I have become better at accepting compliments.

No.1 We are in a western society where ‘beauty’ has a very particular look about it. Sadly, there are not many of us that fit that look. We are brought up to be humble and not ‘up ourselves’ too, so accepting a compliment can feel like we’re being conceited.

No 2 Our self-esteem - it can be so very difficult to see the good in ourselves. We can often see it in others, but don’t learn to how unique and precious each of us are.

I used to rebuff all the compliments that came my way, but I now am bettter at it. Usually, I can say ‘thank you’ genuinely. Sometimes, if I really don’t believe it, I’ll ask ‘Do you really think so?’, or sometimes just laugh, so I’m not all the way there yet. But work on my personal view of myself has brought me to a place where I can look in the mirror objectively and like what I see, and where I know that I have faults, but that I am as good as anyone else. I’ve learnt to pat myself on the back for what is good about what I am and what I do/have done, rather than beating myself up for what I’m not/haven’t done.

It’s very freeing, and I am enjoying the growth process.. and funny enough, the more I like me, it seems, the easier it is for others to like me too!

All the best with it :o)

My OH compliments me all the time .. on my looks, my clothes, my hair, my jewellery, the way I keep house my cooking the list is endless..Ive learned to accept this as his way of being attentive..

I still make jokes sometimes though, recently one of my old ladies told me I was a darling a real angel...I laughed and said ‘ thats not what most people call me’

I dont know, I think it may be to do with self esteem but for me its also about not wanting to be put on a pedestal that I later cant live up to or fall from with an almighty crash!

I look down at the floor and mutter a thank you and wonder off… ha ha!