Why will my friend not explain why she dumped me?
I had a best friend for 7 years, I was bridesmaid at her wedding. 3 months after this, I became pregnant (she was also trying). I had not told my partner I had started to try to conceive, but we had discussed previously and decided it would be this year. It was meant to be a beautiful surprise (which it was for him). My friend had not managed to get pregnant. I sadly miscarried and lost the baby. Her husband called me despicable 2 days after the miscarriage (on my birthday) for not having let my fiancé know that I had stopped taking the pill.
The next day I wrote an email explaining that we had discussed it would be this year (8 months ago), that it was meant as a beautiful surprise and that was how it was received by him (we have been together for 10 years and own a house together). My friend’s husband apologised and my friend also said she was sorry for discussing it behind my back (I had told her I had stopped taking the pill in confidentiality). She also apologised.
I became pregnant, with a wonderful stroke of luck, within the next month. My friend and I had seen each other a few times and there were no real issues. I was still quite upset at the thought that her husband could think I was being intentionally deceptive to my partner, but thought that as I had explained, they had apologised, it would be slightly awkward for a bit (being over the loss of my baby) and then move on. I chose to forgive.
She was not very happy when I told her I was pregnant (she has only been trying for 4 months), but did try to pretend. I felt sad for her and did not talk about it with her. Time went on and she started to withdraw from me. I then began to have problems in my pregnancy. I was twice hospitalised bleeding with a placental abruption (worse case scenario me and baby both die) and signed off work to stay at home and move around as little as possible. She knew and never came to see me.
At a wedding of a mutual friend, she was drunk. She came up to me and told me she was sorry for being a bad friend but she was jealous of me. I held her hand and told her I forgave her. I left the wedding early but then found out the next day that she had been discussing me with my fiancé behind my back after I left. She had taken his side on an argument of mine and his they chose to discuss. He told me this which angered me as from somebody who had not bothered to see or make any effort with me for months whilst I had been suffering, it hurt to hear her now talking behind my back. I confronted her on the issue.
She wrote me a letter saying she was sorry and that she hadn’t meant to cause stress. Then she blocked me from being able to write on her facebook wall. This really hurt as it is not the sort of thing I would do at all and it seemed like she was very concerned with her public image as I was able to send her an email. I responded to her letter saying that she had hurt me, but that I wanted to be able to resolve our friendship as we had had good times together and I would be sad not to. Signed with a a kiss.
We met up one more time and she put me down in front of her husband (my topic of conversation was boring). 2 weeks went by and it was the date for my childbirth- arranged as I had to be induced (she knew the date). I waited all day for a text to say “good luck”. It never came.