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I lied, told the truth, still feeling like a bitch..

Posted: 28 Feb 2012 09:57 PM   Ignore ]  
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So I lied to my boyfriend about 5 months ago when I quit my job. I told him I got fired and the reason why I lied was because I was afraid of him leaving me because it was right around the time when he and I were working things out again. So obviously, I didn’t want to ruin that. About a week ago I finally cracked and told him the truth because he is possibly going to spend the day at the place I used to work. Kalahari. I didn’t want him to find out from someone else so I just told him myself.

We are still together and at first he was upset but I explained myself and he does completely understand but he is just hurt that i even lied to him which is very understandable. He doesn’t look at me any differently, he doesn’t love me any less, and I still have his trust as long as I never lie to him again, regardless of the situation.

Well things are still in the air and they don’t know if they are going but I’m afraid of them going because my friend works there and she’s the one that got me the job. I’m just afraid something is going to be brought up. It’s all just a big mess, I can’t sit here and explain it all, it’ll take a while. Josh said he wont say anything and I sent my friend a text asking her please to not bring it up and she said “I wasn’t going to” so I said okay.

I trust in God and I believe he gave me this life and this family because this is where I belong and I don’t believe anything will happen if he goes to Kalahari but in the back of my head I can’t help but to be afraid. I also can’t look in the mirror without thinking I"m the biggest bitch in the world and I pray every night that if he goes nothing gets brought up. I wasn’t completely honest with him in telling him the truth. I told him I called my boss and talked to her and I didn’t.

My supervisor told me that I had accumulated too many points and things weren’t looking good so I acted on impulse and quit before they could fire me, my friend just told me my supervisor lied to me. I had no points at all from any of the times I called off and I did tell Josh about that and he agrees with me and my friend that I should have just waited and talked to my boss face to face instead of taking my supervisors words because my supervisor hated me from the start.

Does it seem like everything should be fine?
Am I a bitch for all of this? I just feel like a horrible person..

Posted: 29 Feb 2012 01:43 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Are you a bitch? no, but all this fear you are having is making you run around like a crazy woman Aluma, you didn’t commit a crime, you quit your job. I think you’re making too much out of it, let it go and move on from it.

Things will probably be fine if you let it , you told your boyfriend the truth about your job, leave it at that, you’re worrying too much about it.

Posted: 29 Feb 2012 02:17 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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Yeah I know.. I’d just be more comfortable all together if he just didn’t go to Kalahari

Posted: 29 Feb 2012 07:24 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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Hey come on we have all made mistakes and often for misguided reasons so no way are you a bitch, if we didnt make mistakes then we would learn nothing in life. Stop putting yourself down. BTW not a clue what Kalahari is or this points thing means.

Posted: 29 Feb 2012 08:59 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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As it’s been said already…. what you did does not constitute you being a ‘bitch’. You told a fib (as most of us have I am sure) and you rectified it by coming clean! Don’t let this get to you… worrying is not going to change things girlie. Whatever else there is that you haven’t told him will in all probability not come out anyway; cross that bridge when you come to it, or tell all. Either way, I think you just may be over-reacting, and obviously feel bad about the lie, but whats done is done, he has forgiven you and thats whats important.

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