Female Forum

I met my partner online using an AOL instant messenger, almost 8 years later we are still going strong. At the time everyone seemed to think this was quite odd even a little seedy, well that was my experience anyway but I think attitudes have changed a fair bit.

The Internet seems to have exploded recently with web apps like facebook and myspace its now completely the norm to socialize meet online and more and more people are joining dating sites.
What do you think to about meeting your partner or date for the first time online, have you? would you?

I haven’t met anyone online that I have ended up in a relationship with, although I can see why it can and does happen. The Internet makes it easier than ever for us to find people with similar interests to our own - I am only amazed that there aren’t more relationships that began online!

I’m very happy for you, Kez!

I think it’s really becoming a lot more usual these days. There are still people who seem shocked by a couple meeting online, but give it another few years and it will be the most common way people meet their partners.

I recently ‘met’ someone online but it wasnt all a bed of roses lol, for those of you that are interested here’s the story....

it was sunday morning, not a time I would go into the chat room but my back had been playing up and i wasnt very mobile so hence boredom at an all time level so decided to look for a diversion. now having had a few years experience of chat and have learned to take people with a pinch of salt but that said I have also made some very good friends too.

well!! a diversion from boredom? i found it lol, I wont give his chat name, but he said hi to me, he told me he was a widower living in america with one daughter, he told me what he did for a living and we swapped a small amount of information, not too much cos we are all warned several times during a chat session not to give too much personal info.

anyway we progressed to messenger (I have an address i only use for newbies lol and if i like them then i transfer them to the real one! its sorta like a halfway house lol ) and we continued to chat, he told me he had to fly to italy the next day for work but he had told his daughter about me and she would love to talk to me...........then it happened, he started telling me he loved me and that his daughter just wanted to talk to me to make sure he was ‘secure’ and that i wasnt some jezabel i think lol , then he said the oddest thing, he said she was happy for me to be her mother???? wtf lol , he had already repeated how much he loved me etc etc, lol alarm bells??? a whole orchestra of them going off !!!

so , curiosity (now come on you wudda wanted to know what they were really playing at , admit it!! and it wasnt anyone who knew me already as I had used a different chat name as i sometimes do when im just popping in to see who’s around. 

so I added the daughter to my messenger and we chatted, all the way through she kept calling me ‘ma’ and I said to her look im not ur mum nor do i have any wish to replace your mum, so she said to me that i seemed nice, she was just worried that i was someone who was after her fathers money......... he had money!!! lol I had seen pics of him and to be fair whoever the pics were really of was really quite good looking. so then the questions started in my mind, if this guy is really that rich, with a good job wtf was he doing chatting up a penniless ermmmmmm ‘cuddly’ lady like me , surely he would have his pick?

Now I had gotten myself into a bit of a situation and my curiosity wasnt there any longer, he was talking about meeting, talking about me picking him up from the airport? by this time in my mind I had gone from a harmless bit of fun to panic mode!!!  I had also made up in my imagination that they were the local looney toons, (oh he was an american i actually spoke to him on the phone, no silly lot he gave me his number and i phoned and withheld my number lol)

I will never know , because although curiosity is there to find out just what they were really up too i have visions of them being in some sort of cult or other lol, shouldnt really laugh, I just hope they dont really dupe some poor woman into whatever there game really is.....

Thats quite a story Gemini I have met a few nutters myself but only one face to face. I think you can always tell something is wrong when people start expressing feeling of genuine love or wishes to be your very best freind in the first few lines of chat

But when it all comes down to it finding Love is one rocky road no matter how you meet.

Martin - 05 Dec 2008 10:32 PM

I haven’t met anyone online that I have ended up in a relationship with, although I can see why it can and does happen. The Internet makes it easier than ever for us to find people with similar interests to our own - I am only amazed that there aren’t more relationships that began online!

I’m very happy for you, Kez!

Mr M here owes me the money for my wedding reception

I met my husband online in Martins other website. 5 years ago now. We been married for 2 and half years, very happily.
I don’t see the harm in it to be honest.
We wasn’t looking for a relationship, we was looking for escapism from our real lives.
We found each other and that was that.

*PM’s Martin my address for him to send us a cheque for the reception*

Aww Dawny another successful love story, its funny how things turn out when your not even looking.

Hmm nd I wonder if I could sue AOL he he

Well because of my work on JC, I am extreemly sceptical about on line love. I,m not saying it can,t work, because as some of the stories here demonstrate, it can and does. Personally I would always rather meet any potential partner in the “real world”. I,ve dealt with far too many nutters.

If I were looking for a new guy, I’d find him over the internet.
Gemini’s story reminded me of Dr Phil’s show we just saw here: some women have actually fallen in love with some of these ‘weird’ people and lost their money.

As we tell our chilren: don’t give your real name, addresses to the people you meet online, we need to be careful too!

*Dawny* - 06 Dec 2008 07:37 PM

Mr M here owes me the money for my wedding reception

*PM’s Martin my address for him to send us a cheque for the reception*

Ummm… yeah. I’ll send the cheque once I have finished paying off my own reception!

Surely you should be paying me some kind of cupid’s fee?!?

Martin - 17 Dec 2008 01:22 AM

*Dawny* - 06 Dec 2008 07:37 PM

Mr M here owes me the money for my wedding reception

*PM’s Martin my address for him to send us a cheque for the reception*

Ummm… yeah. I’ll send the cheque once I have finished paying off my own reception!

Surely you should be paying me some kind of cupid’s fee?!?

Ummmm.... yeah.....errrrrrr about that, ummmmm Cupid is like a fictional character, so eermm I’m afraid your still stuck with the bill

I met my guy online, in the Love Stinks chat room on Yahoo!. Somehow we got involved in this weird discussion (actually, it was back in the days when it was heavily censored, and we were trying to beat the censors and cyber, Harlequin Romance style ... we were in the main room and being cheered on by everybody. LOL). He was in the US army and on duty at the time, and we talked right up til his shift was over.

9-10 months later, we were as thick as thieves and I’d also become friends with his parents, brother and most of his friends. He expressed a wish to meet me in person, and after I told him I could be on a plane whenever he was ready for it, he replied that if I came over, we’d get married. A couple of months later I was landing at LAX, being greeted by a guy in a suit, with a teddy bear and a dozen red roses getting down on one knee! We got married a week later and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in November.

Online can work, but you should always take precautions. Talk to his family and friends and make sure it’s not just in email or IM - use the phone, webcams, everything you can. Make sure you get lots of photos, just to make sure that the one he sent you is actually him and not a Chippendale dancer. If you’re smart about it, you won’t get burned as easily.

ONLINE LOVE....it does exist!

I used to think everyone looked at me like I was from another planet when I met my guy...but then of course they assumed I was having an affair on my husband...exact opposite!

I have been in a live in relationship for over 5 years now with my online love… and it didnt start out as love. 

In fact I rarely went into chat rooms...they were just too obvious of what they were meant for and I didnt trust anyone.  I went in to play a joke on my mom under a different name etc… then he kept messaging me lol… I was very rude etc… eventually i gave in to his offline messages (yahoo) and added him to my regular chat list, then eventually to my msn as i rarely used yahoo (just for online games to play with my friends).

Now with being married (happy but not totally) we kept it at friendship.  we talked about raising our kids etc...work...blah blah… never ever asked to meet...even took a while before i asked for any pictures...but i didnt get pictures.. i was smart and told him to put his webcam on..lol.  then i got the real deal.  he didnt want to at first cuz he said he had huge moles blah blah on his face and was ugly.  i said what does it matter?  we are just friends i dont care what you look like!  lol.  he was gorgeous! 

we talked online for about a year or more...he only lived an hour away but we never had an inkling to meet.  I eventually wanted to leave my husband for other reasons (deadbeat musician, cheater...etc etc) and finally after a month of separation i encouraged my online friend to meet me for a coffee.  It was a hit since then...i didnt know why i waited so long it was like we were meant to be together!.. we are definately soul mates (and a psychic revealed that to me a couple of years later)...thats another story I might start a post on) we moved in together a couple months later.  i had an apt picked out and ready to put a deposit on then he said why waste the money when we will eventually get a place together.  well.... lol so i moved into his place for the summer since my kids were at my moms and we looked for a place and found one.  we have been together since...like we have been together forever!

that’s online love!

loveishard - 30 Dec 2008 12:23 AM

Now there are always the case that the people are not what they say they are and may be a completely different person but…

even someone you meet in person can turn out to be the opposite.

GnomeGrrl - 29 Dec 2008 07:18 PM

I met my guy online, in the Love Stinks chat room on Yahoo!. Somehow we got involved in this weird discussion (actually, it was back in the days when it was heavily censored, and we were trying to beat the censors and cyber, Harlequin Romance style ... we were in the main room and being cheered on by everybody. LOL). He was in the US army and on duty at the time, and we talked right up til his shift was over.

9-10 months later, we were as thick as thieves and I’d also become friends with his parents, brother and most of his friends. He expressed a wish to meet me in person, and after I told him I could be on a plane whenever he was ready for it, he replied that if I came over, we’d get married. A couple of months later I was landing at LAX, being greeted by a guy in a suit, with a teddy bear and a dozen red roses getting down on one knee! We got married a week later and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in November.

wow what an amazing story! Congratulations on the 10 years as well

I found my boyfriend through net and he is indian. We both love each other. I call her sister few weeks before and he got many problem after that. He father knew about my call and stop him to go to college take any call and use internet. Luckily his sister and mum conveince his father but still he love me.