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Libido Advice??

Posted: 01 Feb 2017 01:44 AM   Ignore ]  
Shy
Total Posts:  2
Joined  26 Jan 2017

I am only 24 years old and have experienced a lot of negative reproductive health issues. I was diagnosed with endometriosis 2 and a half years ago, treated and have since had little to no symptoms. However, the excruciating pain during intercourse and how long it took to figure out what was wrong with me, (I believe) has caused me to completely loose interest with sex, and I am in a committed relationship. I associate sex so closely with pain, I expect it to hurt every time, and I never enjoy it. I cannot remember the last time I had an orgasm during sex.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to regain an interest or a want for sex? It’s beginning to have a negative impact on my relationship and I don’t know whatelse to do.

Thank you!!

Posted: 01 Feb 2017 02:53 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Welcome to the forum Redd. You are not alone in this situation. Not everyone enjoys having sex. In my opinion sex shouldn’t make or break a relationship. Are you open and honest with your partner on what is happening with the pain?

How about you take some time off from trying to receive an orgasm and just focus on giving one? You might think about oral and other ways to stimulate your partner that don’t include penetration.

If I am understanding correctly penetration is what is giving you the pain? Have you let your doctor know about this pain?

Posted: 01 Feb 2017 07:53 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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I suspect it has gone too far for you to achieve a positive result without some assistance. Speak to your family doctor about some counselling.

Posted: 01 Feb 2017 12:23 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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To be fair penatrative sex is an ongoing issue for me too. I closely associate it with pregnancy and therefore loss so I struggle a bit…but…

Does it still hurt? That could indicate a resurgence of endo so it does need to be seen to. Honestly, any pain down below needs looking into.

If it’s just the association then you could consider hypnosis. I’ve found it to be very useful for a variety of subjects, including sex.

Posted: 02 Feb 2017 10:34 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
Shy
Total Posts:  2
Joined  26 Jan 2017

Yeah my doctor(s) and my boyfriend know, it’s not that it has been painful since treatment, but the idea of sex is such a turn off to me now since I don’t really associate it with pleasure anymore. I’m never in the mood. Maybe I will try hypnosis, I’ve never really looked into it. The only thing physicans ever tell me is “more foreplay” but that honestly doesn’t help if I’m just not mentally craving it.

Posted: 02 Feb 2017 11:34 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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I can relate to not being mentally craving it. After giving birth I associate sex with that, so yah I’ll leave it at that.

Hypnosis is a wonderful tool, great suggestions Papillio. Do you know of any programs that are specific to libido?

Posted: 06 Feb 2017 12:26 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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It is more expensive, but honestly, I’d go with a professional.

(Obvs prior to deafness) I did try a tape that was supposed to build my libido but it didn’t work as the problem was that my situation wasn’t a general one. With respect, while infertility itself is pretty common, and the side effects of treatment and infertility itself often emerges in similar behavioural patterns every person develops slightly different reasons/associations as to why they react like that. So they need something more personalised.

When I went to a professional she actually uncovered some connections I hadn’t consciously been aware of. Like the smell of uterus blood. You know what I mean, it smells different to normal blood right? Well I’d made obvious connections to when I was in labour with Tommy, but I’d also linked that to my mam telling me the story of how her gran died in childbirth after a inexperienced doctor pulled out her afterbirth and ripped a hole in her uterus (an excellent bedtime story for a four year old btw). Those memories and associations had linked themselves to my opinions on pregnancy, infertility, my own body and my own sexuality.

A tape wouldn’t have helped me be aware of the actual root of the problem. 3 sessions with a good professional did. Do your research though. Find someone with a bit of experience with infertility/ female libido issues and someone with excellent reviews.

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