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Other woman messeged me!!

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 09:02 AM   Ignore ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Total Posts:  12
Joined  12 Feb 2017

Hi ladies
I’m new here. I’m 37 years old, been living with my partner since April last year.
So as the title says, I received a message a few months back on messenger from an ex of my partners telling me he’d been mailing her, asking to meet up for a massage and sex. She sent me screenshots of the conversation and I have to say I was gutted and totally shocked.
I’ve tried to sweep it all under the carpet,tried to move on and not let it bother me but I just cant. My partner was apologetic and extremely mortified when confronted. I think now he was just gutted he got exposed.
That was about 3 months ago and i cant get over my trust being broken like that. Yesterday I told him hell have to move out but now IM the one feeling bad. Typical me , putting my feelings last, but I cant do it anymore
I’d like to know everyone’s thoughts please?? Am I being unreasonable?? What would you have done ladies??
Need some help, I feel awful.
Thanks for reading

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 12:50 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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Yeah…no.

What he’s done is far from right. If you agreed to a monogamous/ exclusive relationship (which I’m guessing from his reaction it was a given!) then you deserve far better.

You deserve someone who respects you, and trying to cheat, that ain’t respect. Don’t feel bad. If I caught my hubby cheating being kicked to the curb would be the very least of his worries!

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 01:03 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Total Posts:  12
Joined  12 Feb 2017

Thank you Papillio
The more I think about it, the more angry I get, not just with him but with myself for letting things continue after he did that.
My heads a big tangled mess.
X

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 07:22 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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To me it is natural to think I have done something wrong or maybe done things a lot better, but it is a partnership based on trust. Obviously he is likely to be apologetic but, as you say, gutted he got exposed. It is likely time for a change as you would never likely trust him again

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 08:46 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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Welcome to the forum. I agree with what everyone has mentioned above. I’m sorry you are going through all of this, It sounds like you got your heart broken and it will take time to heal. xoxo

Posted: 14 Feb 2017 11:12 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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The bum has got to go, he broke the implied agreement that you both shared. If he had thought it was ok, he would have told you himself.

You are in the right, and even if you decide not to kick him, or to have him back,... you will STILL be in the right over this issue, and have no need to feel bad in anyway. raspberry

But

Have a (((HUG))) smile

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 01:50 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Total Posts:  12
Joined  12 Feb 2017

Thank you very much ladies
My biggest fault is feeling too much. Blaming myself too much, I end up feeling bad for things I hvnt done.
He really hurt me.
Thank you for all the support here
Much appreciated
X

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 08:10 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
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Break ups are hard. It must be even harder near Valentine’s day when everyone is focused on sharing their stories of love.

I feel like we need a day for all the people who can share their stories of hard relationship stories and sufferings from previous or current relationships. Let’s celebrate the times we were down and were able to come back better or still working on feeling better.

You know?

I just feel like no one should feel like they are the only one that has had someone lied, cheated or hurt by their partner. It is problem many face.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope to see you more on the forums. smile

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 08:33 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Total Posts:  12
Joined  12 Feb 2017

Thanks to everyone who has replied to this
Xx

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 08:43 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Total Posts:  12
Joined  12 Feb 2017
nala79 - 15 Feb 2017 08:33 PM

Thanks kiwi
I take your point and do agree with you. I don’t in anyway consider myself to be exclusive to heart ache, far from it. Its a fact of life.I have been in violent relationships in the past which have seriously affected my self worth and ability to trust others. My partner doing what he did just seemed to knock me back an awful lot.
I do appreciate everyone’s input and advice and will try to help others if they need that.
Thanks for everyone’s help and honesty, it means a lot.
Love n light
N.
X

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 09:08 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]  
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I have so many friends who are embarrassed or feel defeated. Your ability to share your story is a step in a positive direction, I think.

I love that you are here and wanting to help others too. That is awesome! Please do stick around.

Your past history with being in violent relationship combined with what just happened must really put you in a hard place right now. Sending you lots of hugs.

Posted: 15 Feb 2017 09:31 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]  
Breaking the Ice
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Aww thank you kiwi
I’ve just spent ten minutes trying to reply to you on that other thread
Haha
I think its time for bed

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