I have a rule - my family problems - i deal with them
-his family problems - he deals with them.
That is until I can not take it anymore.
Who has had in-law issues?
What have been the problems?
Told my mother-in-law today, if she was not willing to help herself, I would not be willing to discuss it further or deal with it. As her daughter-in-law i felt I would let her sons deal with her.
My in-law who I fortunately get along with very nicely lives in England, I’m on the west coast USA. So it would be very hard for us to have any issues or problems.
My family reunions unfortunately can be chaotic but now that I live on the West coast my parents on the east coast. Any conflict is really rare and only occurs on reunions.
The truth is space gives us a lot resolution. Resolution to live our life and they live theirs. Sometimes we have to give each other reminders that we each do things differently.
I’m not sure if any of this would imply to your situation but I do think you are on the right track of how to deal with your situation.
Family is complex and never straightforward