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Dealing with Inlaws - seems like parenting to me

Posted: 25 Mar 2017 08:46 PM   Ignore ]  
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I have a rule - my family problems - i deal with them

-his family problems - he deals with them. 


That is until I can not take it anymore.

Who has had in-law issues?
What have been the problems?

Told my mother-in-law today, if she was not willing to help herself, I would not be willing to discuss it further or deal with it.  As her daughter-in-law i felt I would let her sons deal with her.

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 01:59 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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DeniseW1959 - 25 Mar 2017 08:46 PM

I have a rule - my family problems - i deal with them

-his family problems - he deals with them. 


That is until I can not take it anymore.

Who has had in-law issues?
What have been the problems?

Told my mother-in-law today, if she was not willing to help herself, I would not be willing to discuss it further or deal with it.  As her daughter-in-law i felt I would let her sons deal with her.

I don’t have in-laws problems but I think your rule makes sense. That’s how it should be. I would do the same thing.

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 03:56 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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annelee - 26 Mar 2017 01:59 AM
DeniseW1959 - 25 Mar 2017 08:46 PM

I have a rule - my family problems - i deal with them

-his family problems - he deals with them. 


That is until I can not take it anymore.

Who has had in-law issues?
What have been the problems?

Told my mother-in-law today, if she was not willing to help herself, I would not be willing to discuss it further or deal with it.  As her daughter-in-law i felt I would let her sons deal with her.

I don’t have in-laws problems but I think your rule makes sense. That’s how it should be. I would do the same thing.

Denise and Annelee,

Have to say that I’m in totally agreement with what Annelee said to you here.  Even through I don’t have them let and whom knows if I will ever have them.  I mean I have no clue as to when I will find my Mr. Right and if his parents are still alive as well.

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 06:25 AM   Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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DeniseW1959 - 25 Mar 2017 08:46 PM

I have a rule - my family problems - i deal with them

-his family problems - he deals with them. 


That is until I can not take it anymore.

Who has had in-law issues?
What have been the problems?

Told my mother-in-law today, if she was not willing to help herself, I would not be willing to discuss it further or deal with it.  As her daughter-in-law i felt I would let her sons deal with her.

My in-law who I fortunately get along with very nicely lives in England, I’m on the west coast USA. So it would be very hard for us to have any issues or problems.

My family reunions unfortunately can be chaotic but now that I live on the West coast my parents on the east coast. Any conflict is really rare and only occurs on reunions.

The truth is space gives us a lot resolution. Resolution to live our life and they live theirs. Sometimes we have to give each other reminders that we each do things differently.

I’m not sure if any of this would imply to your situation but I do think you are on the right track of how to deal with your situation.

Family is complex and never straightforward smile

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 03:49 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
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Situation is a health issue for my mother-in-law. 

I was nasty and said if she is not willing to help herself then what does she expect? 

She has been hospitalized a few times to many for the same issue and always has an excuse for not following the doctors orders. 

Since I worked at the hospital before I retired I always made sure I was with her to hear what was suggested.  I told her that if she gets admitted again on the same issue I will not to go.  Yes, tough love but I hope she tries to help herself.

BTW - She has been called a drama queen by my husband.

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 04:59 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
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Yes, she sounds like she is stuck on her ways so it doesn’t seem necessary to help if she isn’t willing to take the help.

You know what they say, you can lead a horse to water…

Posted: 26 Mar 2017 05:39 PM   Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
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I sometimes have issues with inlaws too but tend to shrug them off as I have enough things to think about with my mother (she lost her husband a couple of years ago and had a stroke a couple of years or so before that, and is semi invalid). I tend to take responsibility for my side of the family only. Some inlaws, I can see, would agrevate!

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