As the mother of 14 children, I have learned a thing or two about running a home to save both time and my sanity! The first is to stop trying to have children, and live in a home that looks ready for a House Beautiful photo shoot. If you have to have a perfect home you can, but everyone will be miserable and when the kids are grown (sooner than you think) they will not want to come back to visit any time soon. The best thing you can do is streamline your home
Take the bathroom for instance. I know you wanted all 34 shades of pink nail polish, but really, be honest - you use the same two every time, right? So put the other 32 shades away - in the bin is my #1 suggestion but at least out of sight if you cannot bear to part with them. If you go through your home, room by room, and get rid of those kinds of things, your life will improve by 50%, instantly.
A cluttered room causes stress, even if it is clean. Add baby things and toddler toys to an already over-loaded room and you have one big mess. Save the million knick-knacks for when you are old. Right now, have out your favourite few and put the rest away.
The second best thing you can do is allow your children to work with you on the housework. I mean it. I see so many fresh new Mums get worn out trying to keep all the work done, and baby happy, and their toddler entertained. The problem is they think the work must be done when the kids are napping or in bed for the night. Well, baby never naps when dishes need to be done (that’s a baby law or something) and Mummy cleaning at two in the morning is insane.
Instead, allow the children to be a part of your work. I mean it. When you wash dishes, put baby in the high chair with some baby toys and pull that chair right up to you at the sink. You can talk and sing to baby while you work. By having them in the chair they are safe and can see you, so they are also content. Let your toddler help with the laundry. They love to pull the baskets around for Mum. Pulling clothes out of the dryer is great fun! You spin the dial and let them push the button - joy! When you fold, give them all the cloths. Let them fold them. Who cares if they are not done correctly, they are cloths for heavens sake! Praise them and let them carry those cloths and put them away. Don’t you dare go back and re-fold them either, Mum! Let it be.
Enjoy this time with your child. By allowing them to work with you when they are small, you are teaching them several things. One is that housework is not Mum’s job, it is everyone’s job! If you wait until they are old enough to do a job alone to start assigning chores, by then they see that job as yours. They feel you are dumping your work on them. It causes resentment. This way they have always helped. As they get old enough to work alone it is natural for them to do the work alone, while you are tending to other things. In the long run, the time you ‘wasted’ letting them help when they were small will gain you years of stress free time later on. So let those little ones work right along beside you, laugh, work, and play your way through the day together and when it is 2 am you will both be having sweet dreams.
I want to add one more suggestion. Learn to line your jobs up so they take less time. For instance, first thing when you get up start the washer. It can be washing while you make and eat breakfast. By the time you are done with dishes, that load will be ready to put in the dryer. You are a load ahead already that way! Start another load and start supper. Yep! Right after breakfast, put something in the roaster or crock-pot for that evening’s meal. It can cook all day while you do school and take care of the baby. Then you will have time to pick up before supper - because the meal work is done in the morning! Add a veggie or salad and rolls and the meal is done!
One last thought, keep your chin up on the hard days. We all have them now and again. Aim to mostly laugh and play through your day. You are changing the world. You really are. What you are doing not only matters to your child, it matters to the world - they just don’t know it yet. These little lives are the future. They will control the planet one day. What is more important than that? Changing nappies and cleaning might not seem like world changing stuff, but it is. Your children are learning what love feels like, and what sacrifice looks like. As you pour yourself into their world, you are really preparing them for a world that needs a lot of love and sacrifice - so that we can all live happy joyful lives.
Keep at it, Mum! It really is true - the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Go to bed tonight knowing you have made the world one-step closer to how it was meant to be.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on time management and family scheduling, take a look at the following books:
Organize Your Family’s Schedule In No Time
Absolutely Organized: A Mom’s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule and Clutter-Free Home
Absolutely Organize Your Family: Simple Solutions to Control Clutter, Schedules & Spaces
The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time, Reclaim Your Schedule, and Reconnect with What Matters Most
This article was written by Barbara Smith. Barbara is the mother of 14 children, and the Author of Polka-Dot Star Flowers: Real Help for Real People. She believes that we all fall down in this life, and that standing back up is half the victory. The other half is helping others stand back up, too.
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