Whether you have a lot of money to throw around or you have to count your pennies, having a moocher for a friend can get old very fast. A mooch is someone who conveniently and consistently needs your assistance for things and they never pay you back. Moochers are also notorious for borrowing things and never returning them and for not doing their part on tasks.
The only way to remain friends with a moocher is to set boundaries and to anticipate situation where the mooching occurs. It will require some confrontation on your part, too. The level of confrontation will be dependent on the degree of the moocher you are dealing with. Here are some tips to help your friend see that mooching is no longer going to be tolerated:
Humor
Isn’t it convenient that your friend always forgets her wallet most every time you go to restaurants or bars? To nip this in the bud is to joke lightheartedly with your friend prior to meeting. Say something offhand such as “Don’t forget your wallet; you know how forgetful you are.”
If you find yourself in the situation again where your friend’s wallet has once again been forgotten, lightly joke about it and say something like “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached. The next time we go out I am coming to your house and making sure you have it with you.” or “You poor thing, I’m going to buy you a chain wallet so you don’t find yourself in these embarrassing situations so often.”
If the moocher has any sense at all, they will pick up on the fact that you are on to their mooching.
Stop the Assumptions
If you find your friend is assuming you will always pick up the check, pay her way to movies and other similar things, stop the assumptions. When you place an order, ask for separate checks. When you go to the movies or coffee bar, let her go first. If she manages to still let you go first, just order for yourself, pay and move on.
Ask Questions
While it is true that sometimes people are just low on funds, moochers are different. They are just tightwads and users. Anytime you are forced to pay for your mooching friend, ask them later in private what is going on in their financial life. Do this every time you find yourself in a mooching situation. Be delicate, but tell your friend you are concerned that she is always short on cash. Ask her if her job is not paying her enough money or if she is having some financial problems you are unaware of. Act genuinely concerned about her money woes.
This should alert the moocher that you are on to her. Just be sure that your mooching friend doesn’t try to turn the situation around and try to get even more money out of you. Offer advice and give comfort, but do not part with your cash.
Turn the Tables
Some moochers have to be taught a lesson. The way to do this is to conveniently forget your wallet when you go out. Another way to turn the table is to tell your friend that you are short on cash and would she treat this time since you did last time. By doing a bit of role reversal will let you see if your friend is really your friend—or if she is only hanging out with you because you pay everything. If she suddenly doesn’t want to go anywhere with you, you will have your answer.
Being friends with someone means helping them out and being there for them when they are having a hand time, even financially. However, there is a difference between someone going through a hard financial time temporarily and someone who is consistently straining the friendship because they are just natural born moochers. Determine what is going on with your friend and address it, or you may find that the resentment destroys your friendship.
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