There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to decide if she is the type who enjoys the single, but attached, life or if she needs to take the step of marriage to complete her relationship.
Many people are comfortable with just living together, and that is perfectly acceptable in this day and age, but others want to make that commitment, for religious or personal reasons. If you are battling with the decision to seek more from your current relationship or just leave things as they are, here are a few things for you to consider, to help you weigh the choices.
Of course, you own list of pros and cons will be a bit more personal, but these are some things that seem to be common reasons for and against the decision to marry.
Pros
Religious Acceptance – While this may not be an issue for some, many feel that they have a religious obligation to marry the person that they are in love with. Getting married to someone in a church or religious ceremony confirms your commitment in the eyes of God and the church.
Strengthened Commitment – Though you can certainly be committed to someone without marrying them, taking the step toward marriage is a solemn vow to uphold your end of the relationship. Most find that taking this step brings them closer to their partner and strengthens their bonds with each other on levels they had never imagined.
Social Acceptance – Though this should never be the main reason for marrying someone, the end to the eternal question of “When are you getting married?” is certainly a plus to making the decision to tie the knot. Be prepared, however; the next question in the series will be “When are you having children?”
Stable Environment – Having a stable relationship, enhanced by the commitment of marriage can have a huge impact on your own emotional stability. Not only that, but you will be working together to create a stable environment for any children you may have together.
Shared Responsibility – Choosing to get married is also a commitment to work together on many aspects of your lives. Combining finances, decisions, and plans for your future through marriage provides you with a partner or a backup in everything you do throughout life.
Cons
Loss of Freedom – Even though your life still belongs to you, in many marriages the feeling that you have to consult with your spouse before making plans or decisions can be enough to turn someone off from marriage. In marriage, you are no longer only responsible for yourself and owe your spouse the respect of discussing decisions and schedules with them.
Financial Strain – Though combining finances and households can take the pressure of overall financial issues, the wedding itself can become extremely expensive. With wardrobes, invitations, hall rentals, license fees, and the always pricey honeymoon, some couple do not marry simply because they can’t afford the expenses that go along with the traditions.
Compilation of Problems – Once you are married, any issues and problems belonging to your spouse become your own and your problems become theirs. While this team effort can be helpful in certain situations, in others it can cause even bigger problems for one or both of you. Outside issues, such as children from previous relationships, financial and credit problems, and serious career issues must be considered when making this life changing decision.
Gaining Their Family – Remember that when you marry someone, you also marry everyone else important in their lives. For some people, this isn’t a problem at all, but in many cases, having to share holidays and special occasions with a spouse’s family can be a less than ideal experience. If their family is the type that tends to cause issues and interference in your relationship, avoiding marriage might be best.
Compromising Your Ideals – In many relationships, before the next step can be taken, some issues that aren’t agreed upon must be dealt with. This can be the decision to have children, change location, or converting to a different religion. For some, letting go of the control over certain issues or having to compromise on something you have always wanted is enough to squash the idea of marrying a specific person.
Any of the problems that are associated with the decision to get married can be overcome with hard work and perseverance, if you deem the reasons for getting married outweigh the reasons against. Before making this life changing decision, think carefully. Marriage should last a lifetime, rather than causing your relationship to become another sad statistic.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on deciding whether or not to get married, take a look at the book, ’Should We Get Married?
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