Television has made living with friends the ‘in’ thing to do. Each week we watch our favourite characters navigate living together and comical situations that they get themselves and each other into. Looks like a great idea on screen, but is living with your friend all it’s cracked up to be?
Growing up, you and your best friend probably talked about going to the same university, getting married, having kids, and even living in the same neighbourhood. It was your fantasy and solidified your roles as best friends. Now that you’re all grown up, you can begin acting out your dreams for finding the perfect flat and moving into a place together. Don’t begin packing and moving just yet though; there are many ups and downs to living with a friend.
Advantages of Living with a Friend
Easier to afford – If you found a place that you greatly adore but it’s a little out of your price range, a friend moving in and splitting the cost of rent can make it work out. Plus if you have your eye on a particular location, dividing up the cost of the utilities, phone, services such as cable or satellite television can make a bigger place or nicer location more affordable for all.
A safe feeling – Living alone can be scary and whether this is your first time living alone or your third place, you know that constantly coming home to an empty place can not only be lonely but a little unsettling at times. If you have someone to share the space with and who knows your routine, you instantly have a person who will care and look forward to you coming in the door. Likewise, you too have something to look forward to rather than an empty place.
Division of chores – Friends who live together also share the responsibility of chores in the house. You’re no longer totally responsible for cleaning the bathroom, mopping or even taking out the rubbish. Someone who can contribute to caring for the daily chores can make all of the responsibilities of the house more bearable.
More women are choosing to live with each other as a way to combat the loneliness of being single as well as creating a more secure environment for themselves. Division of chores, expenses and the built in company aren’t always the great notions they are thought to be, though.
Disadvantages of Sharing Living Space
Financial disagreements – Just as it’s easy to split up the bills, it’s also easy to argue over them. Setting up clear guidelines on how to split the expenses can help alleviate that problem but what if someone is constantly unreliable about having the money when it’s due? Chronically covering the rent and your friend’s portion of the bills could create animosity.
Privacy issues - You have planned to finally bring home the new guy you’ve been seeing. However, when you walk in the door, you discover your friend is already hosting game night with her book club. There’s no peace and quiet and no way can you kick them all out. Having time to yourself or to entertain your own company is crucial. Friends who don’t understand your need for alone time can spoil the quiet evening you’ve planned or prevent you from getting enough sleep.
Different lifestyles - You‘re a morning person, she’s a night owl. If you can’t respect each other’s way of living and doing things you could end up better enemies than friends. Maybe you can tolerate a little clutter while she likes a spick and span dwelling. While you might think you know everything about her (including her size because she borrows your clothes constantly), you likely haven’t uncovered the real her until you’ve lived under the same roof for a bit.
Personal problems – Let’s face it, you’ve always been there when either of you have had problems but when you live together your problems now belong to her; that includes the constant phone calls from your overbearing mother when she’s trying to get shut eye before working the early shift. Her jealous boyfriend may think she’s stepping out when he sees your best guy hanging around. Regardless, be prepared to not be able to escape each other’s problems like you may have when you had separate spaces to escape to.
Sharing a living space with a friend is an excellent way to divide expenses and can bring you closer together as well. However, if you aren’t prepared for the potential problems, your rent sharing could be very short lived. You may think you know everything about her but once you live together and have a 24 hour, seven days a week view of your friend, you may learn more about her than you’d ever hoped to or wanted to.
Lay out a clear plan for moving in with each other. Discuss how things like missed bills, late payments and even forgetting to take out the rubbish will be handled. Make a schedule if you need to ensure you both get private time alone at home and how you will work through it if it’s not carried out. Good friends build strong friendships, but without proper communication, understanding and respect for one another, even the strongest friendships can crumble under the same roof.
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