You are absolutely certain that you have found ‘the one’ and are beside yourself that he is hinting at taking a big step in your relationship and moving in together. Though this may seem like a dream come true, if either of you aren’t really ready for that big of a change in your relationship, it can be the nightmare that ends it all.
Thinking about all of the negatives that can go along with cohabiting can be something of a downer, but it is essential if you want to be sure that things are going to work. So before you go signing a lease or putting a security deposit on a new place, ask yourselves a few important questions first.
Are You Really In Love?
This might seem like a silly question to someone who is basking in the afterglow of a request to take a relationship to another level, but it is the most important question to ask yourself. Short of marriage and children, moving in together is one of the most intimate and challenging situations that you can put yourself in with someone that you are dating. If you have any doubts about the stability of your relationship or the legitimacy of your feelings, be sure that you address those issues before you make such an important decision.
Can You Handle Major Changes?
If you think that everything in your relationship will stay the same after you make the big move, you might end up needing a bit of a reality check. Though you might be one of the lucky ones who moves in with the exact same guy that you have been dating all this time, chances are you are going to be facing a somewhat different person. You might see sides of his personality that you never noticed before or those little habits that you once thought so cute may start to wear on your nerves. If you can handle the thought of finding out that your significant other isn’t exactly as perfect as he seems, you should be able to handle the stresses of this new phase of your relationship.
Will You Both Be Able To Share the Finances?
Nearly every relationship that involves sharing the bills is going to involve the occasional fight about money. Assuring that you can afford an equal share in the finances of your new household can help to keep the financial battles to a minimum. Many times, if one feels as if they are shouldering a larger part of the bills and responsibilities, they might begin to resent the other person in the relationship. Even though you are living in a situation similar to that of most married couples, splitting things down the middle is probably a better way to go rather than throwing things all in together.
How Is Housekeeping Going To Be Handled?
Everyone has their own standards and style of housekeeping, so don’t expect your domestic partner to have the same ideas when it comes to cleaning and other household chores. Almost every relationship has the ‘clean person’ and the ‘messy person’ but they usually manage to work things out. If you are the one who has very high housekeeping standards, acknowledge that and try to give your partner a little bit of slack. If you are the messier person in the relationship, do your best to at least pitch in and clean up after yourself. Try to lay out a game plan ahead of time as to who is going to be responsible for what chores around the house.
Are You Ready To Compete With Outside Influences?
Before you move in together, generally your time together is focused on just being together. That will likely change once you have started living under the same roof. Suddenly you will have to compete with your significant other’s interests for his attention. You might not even know that every Wednesday night all of the guys come over for a poker game or that he spends every other Saturday meditating for 4 hours in the back garden, but you will have to adjust your life to fit into that schedule, as he will have to adjust himself to yours.
Are You Willing To Make Compromises?
If you are the type of person that always has to have it her way, this might be a good time to learn the finer points of how to compromise. If you have been in a situation where you have lived with someone previously, you should know by now just how vital compromise is to your relationship. By giving up a little to avoid conflict and learning how to choose your battles, your decision to move in with your love interest should be a positive one.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on moving in together, take a look at the book, ’The Good Girl’s Guide to Living in Sin: The New Rules for Moving In With Your Man
Join us
The best part of Female Forum is our community. Take a look at our forums and join the most welcoming and friendly online community around.
Share this article
Email Tweet This! Share on Facebook Stumble Digg Save to Delicious
If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to Female Forum. Subscribing is free and ensures you won't miss any future articles.
What do you think?
Discuss this article here, or chat about other topics in the forums.