It’s not that women aren’t committing to one boyfriend anymore: quite the opposite! However, for some women, in order to find the one to commit to, they choose to try out their options – all at once.
Playing the field can be a delicate situation to get into. You run the risk of being labelled negatively, some men won’t date a girl who sees anyone besides him, and it can be hard to keep things straight. The good news is that if you are dating more than one man, you can do it without losing your self-respect, have some fun and learn what you truly want in a mate. The following are a few guidelines to help you decide if playing the field is right option for you.
Beware the Double Standard
Men who balance multiple relationships are looked at as keeping their options open; yet when women take the same route, they are subject to ridicule or worse – by family as well as some friends. Often, men will break off a relationship with a woman if he discovers that she has been seeing someone else. He likes to be thought of as her one and only.
Should you decide to date multiple men, realise that not everyone is going to agree with your choices. Often, a woman who dates more than one man at a time won’t disclose to some of her friends her dating situation. She may only speak of one man to even her closest friend.
On the Up and Up
The fastest way to get into hot water with multiple relationships is to lie to the men about it. You have two options:
1. Don’t tell them unless they ask if you are seeing someone else. When they do ask, be up front about it. Lying won’t get you anywhere and will only make you look bad.
2. Be up front from the start. Tell each potential date that you’re not looking for anything serious and that you are seeing other men. This gives him the option to pursue a date with you or look elsewhere.
Unless you’ve found someone in your dating circle who you would like to explore the possibility of an exclusive relationship, treat each one as a casual date.
Play it Safe
Sex with multiple partners is particularly complicated. If you are dating casually, then sex shouldn’t enter into the date. However, should you want to have sex with one of the boyfriends or begin a sexual relationship with one of them, consider making that your only sexual relationship. Having sex with multiple men puts you in a dangerous situation; to contract an unwanted STD or pregnancy, as well as being perceived as an ‘easy’ or ‘loose’ woman.
Certainly you are able to make up your own mind about what type of sexual activity you engage in but not thinking about the ramifications of your actions when you aren’t serious about the men involved could cause more trouble than it’s worth.
Guard Your Heart
Just because you are seeing more than one man it doesn’t mean you are immune to being hurt. You still run the risk of the emotional roller coaster one man can bring. Women get emotionally attached easier and many times faster than men do. Making statements about strong feelings or how you feel can land you in hot water and shouldn’t be used when dating multiple men. If you feel the urge to tell one of them that you are developing strong feelings for them, it’s best to re-evaluate what you want from dating and consider building a monogamous relationship with one partner.
Keeping Track
Make sure your phones are programmed with each beau’s name as well as number so that when you answer a call, you know whom you’re speaking with; especially if they sound alike! Likewise, it’s advisable to create a schedule as well as some basic notes about each man. This way you know what you’ve talked about, what he’s told you about himself and where you’ve gone or are going on dates. It lessens the possibility for confusion or embarrassment if you can keep record of what you’ve done or doing with each man.
Having multiple relationships can allow you to take stock of the kinds of relationships you want and don’t want as you get to know each man. If you like the idea of having a full calendar, dating multiple men can provide you that luxury as well. As long as you don’t compromise your own morals and treat each relationship with the same respect you would appreciate in return, you can have fun, meet many new people and discover what the dating world can offer you.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on cheating, take a look at the following books:
Why Do Women Cheat? What Can I Do to Stop It?
Seduce Me! Why Men and Women Cheat
To Catch a Cheat
Join us
The best part of Female Forum is our community. Take a look at our forums and join the most welcoming and friendly online community around.
Share this article
Email Tweet This! Share on Facebook Stumble Digg Save to Delicious
If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to Female Forum. Subscribing is free and ensures you won't miss any future articles.
What do you think?
Discuss this article here, or chat about other topics in the forums.