Let’s face it, the idea of heading home for Christmas doesn’t appeal as much when you don’t have a partner to share it with. Christmas can leave many women feeling lonely and down when the invitations for dinners and parties begin pouring in, requesting they “bring a date”.
Turning down the invitation isn’t always an option but if you can decline, what are your other options for having fun during Christmas?
Christmas is meant to be a time of friendship and love; of spending time with those you hold dear to you. As a single woman, you may have lots of family that you want to visit as well as friends that you consider to be as close as family. If you’re constantly working through the Christmas social schedule, it can be difficult to slow down and do something that is only for you and doesn’t focus on the fact that you are on your own without a partner to share it with.
Make a Plan
Decide ahead of time how much you want to be visible during the Christmas period. If you know there is a party you are expected to attend but it requires a date, start flipping through your address book to find a close friend (no rules it has to be a guy) to attend with. Many parties during festive season are annual events. Having attended them in the past, you can gauge which ones are easier to get through on your own and which ones you’ll need to bring someone along to.
If you are newly dating someone, don’t assume that they are going to attend some of the gatherings with you, especially if you are still learning about the person. Let them know you have some functions to attend but leave the invitation to them open with an opportunity to bow out; no questions asked. It could be awkward for both of you to attend an event if you are newly dating.
Do Something on Your Own
Family gatherings can be as stressful as they are fun. Rather than stress yourself, do something that you will enjoy. You could start your own Christmas traditions with close friends. Instead of attending a party, host a party. You could make it as formal or informal as you like; host a gift exchange or a night in with friends. Your circle of single friends may appreciate the break in the many family gatherings and look forward to your yearly parties. You could even choose to ring in the New Year in a unique and fun way that incorporates your interests and includes the people you enjoy spending time with the most.
Do for Others
During a time when so many are without, the idea of volunteering your time for others is a perfect solution to finding a way to spend your time during the Christmas season. Prepare and take meals to those less fortunate or organise a charity function for families that need assistance. You can also offer to deliver meals, participate in a toy drive or sponsor a less fortunate child/family. When you spend time working with people who need help the most, it helps you to appreciate what you have even more. Focus your attention on others and find opportunities to get involved in your community.
Make time Alone
Maybe you need time to reflect during the Christmas period. There is no rule that says you must surround yourself with people if you don’t want to. Plan a trip for yourself to ring in the New Year by boarding a plane to a sunny and warm location. As mentioned earlier, you can start a Christmas tradition but it doesn’t need to include anyone but yourself. If spending time with family at Christmas is important to you but you don’t want the hassle of a full house, take the time to arrive early to spend time with family one on one before others come home or arrive. You get the chance to visit loved ones but without the stress of other people’s company.
Sometimes solitude is better than keeping a full calendar. Social gatherings can be fun but piling them on can wear you down and can even bring you down. Arm yourself for encounters with people who enjoy drawing attention to your single status. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there but know your limits; if an invite is for you and a guest, feel free to decline with no guilt involved. Putting the pressure on yourself to meet others’ expectations of your social status is no way to enjoy Christmas or time with others. Choose those events that make you feel happy and that you know you will enjoy.
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By Monica on 11 Dec 2008
It is now Dec 11th, two weeks before Christmas, and the man I love has just told me that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me, and wants to be friends.
All my plans for Christmas are now cancelled, and I will be forced to spend time alone. I am still in the grieving stage for the relationship, and to make matters worse, my best friend of 43 years (since age 3) just passed away from lung and pancreatic cancer on Nov 7th.
Any suggestions for my getting through the holidays? I will be weepy and don’t want to ruin Christmas for acquaintances. I will spend the 25th with my mom, but that is it. Most of my female friends have kids/partners/husbands, and I truly cannot impose at such a family-oriented time.
How will I endure? I am an intelligent professional woman, who is going through a streak of bad timing and luck....
By Martin Reed on 11 Dec 2008
Hi Monica - I am sorry to hear your news. Why not register and drop by our forums? We have a great bunch of members who will definitely help take your mind off things, and I am sure they’ll come up with plenty of suggestions for new Christmas plans.
http://www.femaleforum.com/forums
Regards
Martin Reed
Community Manager
Female Forum - The online community for women