Body language needs no words. People surmise a lot about a person’s personality by their body language. If you are in the dating scene you should monitor your body language to see what kind of signals you are sending out.
Some women are pros at body language. They can send the sexy ‘I’m interested’ signal or the ‘get lost’ signal in a matter of moments. If you are wondering why you’re never approached by men, it may be something as simple as the message you are sending with your body. Women who are not tuned into their body language often send out the wrong signals.
The First Impression DOES Count
When someone enters a room or even a shopping aisle at the market, people automatically look to see who is there. If you want to get that second glance ensure that you are putting your best foot forward wherever you may go. This means looking and dressing your best for the occasion. No, you don’t have to get dressed up to go pick up milk at the corner market, but don’t arrive in a food/drink stained t-shirt with unwashed, greasy hair. If you do, you are sending out the message that you don’t take care of yourself. So, before you walk out your front door, check yourself over to see if you are in tip-top condition. You never know, Mr. Right may be living next door or at the park where you are planning to go jogging.
Eye Contact
When you do find yourself in a situation where you have found someone that is making your radar go into hyper-alert, use eye contact to your advantage. Start out with sidelong glances in his direction, then work to establish direct eye contact. When he does meet your gaze, lower your eyes a bit and then smile. This sends out the signal that yes, you were watching him and that you feel embarrassed that he caught you. Next, establish eye contact again and when eye contact is made, don’t break the glance. Hold his stare for a moment and smile directly at him. All of this sends out the signal that you are interested in him.
Hands
What you do with your hands sends out signals. To let a man know you are open to being approached, keep your hands out of your pockets, keep your hands unclenched and avoid finger tapping. If you have a habit of keeping your hands in your pocket you are sending off the signal that you are walling yourself off to being approached. Having clenched fists may send the message that you are uptight, angry or anxious. Drumming or tapping your fingers can send the signal that you are distracted, easily bored and/or that you’d rather be somewhere else. Things you can do with your hands that will make you more approachable is touching objects in a soft, caressing way - such as slowly rubbing your arm, brushing away a lock of hair or using your fingertips to circle the rim of your glass.
Posture
Do you know the difference between open and closed posture? Your posture sends one of the loudest signals of all to men. If you stand or sit with your body turned toward the man with your shoulders back and your arms uncrossed, you are sending the message that you are approachable. If you stand or sit at an angle with your body turned away from the man and you have your arms crossed you are sending out the signal that you are uninterested.
Extra Body Language Tips
A sign that a man is reading your body language accurately is if he begins mirroring your language and gestures. If you both take a sip of a drink at the same time or reach for the same type of fruit at the market, everything is going smoothly.
Once you master your body language, don’t tease a man with it. Only show as much interest as you plan to follow through with or you will be deemed a tease. For instance, if you have been making repeated eye contact with a man at a party and smiling at him, the chances are high that he will approach you. So, be prepared to engage in conversation.
If you have been sending out signals to a man and he is sending back signals that he is not interested - such as turning his back to you, crossing his arms and avoiding your glance, forget about him. Never pursue a man that is showing disinterest.
If a man you have been flirting with through body language happens to move around the room or in and out of a room at a party, don’t physically follow him so you can continue flirting. This will only make you look like the desperate type. If he’s truly interested he will make his way back toward you.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on body language, take a look at the following books:
Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship
Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship & Dating
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People
You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!
The Definitive Book of Body Language
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