Most women think they would know if their partner were cheating on them. The sad truth is women are generally the last to discover their partners are having flings on the side.
While some of the signs of cheating are obvious - such as lipstick collars and credit card charges for hotel rooms - others aren’t so obvious. Here is a list of the signs of a cheater:
* He comes home smelling like shampoo and soap.
* He daydreams more than he previously did.
* He deletes all text messages and incoming/outgoing calls from his phone.
* He does things to pick fights with you so he can leave your home.
* He doesn’t seem to have as much money as he once did and/or you notice his bank deposits are short.
* He doesn’t want any child related stuff in his vehicle - toys, car seat, etc.
* He has bruises or scratches on his body.
* He has outbursts of anger and erratic behaviour.
* He is no longer hungry for food when he comes home.
* He is overly preoccupied with his hair and skin.
* He is taking business trips more than he previously did and you are not invited to go along.
* He is uninterested or too busy/tired for sex.
* He runs a short errand and it takes him hours to return home.
* He seems overly happy and seems to have a glow.
* He seems unfocused and is inattentive to you and/or the activities of the family and home.
* He shows a sudden, new interest in different types of books, films, food or music.
* He starts accusing you of cheating or taking accusatory tones with you.
* He starts hiding his wallet and mobile phone.
* He stays up after you go to bed and he is either on the computer or using his mobile phone.
* He suddenly has an interest in improving his physique and/or he joins a gym.
* He tries out new sex positions/techniques with you - and he’s shown no interest of this in the past.
* He wants to ‘pitch-in’ and do the laundry.
* He buys new socks and underwear.
* He claims he is working extra shifts at work, but you see no extra pay or proof that he is actually working.
* His mobile phone bill gets mailed to his work rather than to your home.
* His sex drive has gone into overdrive and he wants sex all the time.
* If you’re married, you notice he doesn’t wear his wedding ring as often as he used to.
* You discover he has an email account you never knew about.
* You discover that he has taken time off from work or is leaving work early - and you thought he was working.
* You find condoms and you and your partner don’t use them.
* You find out that he has a mobile phone that you don’t know anything about.
* You find trinkets that you did not give him.
* You smell an unfamiliar scent on his clothing.
* You wake up in the middle of the night and he is not home.
* Your friends start acting strange or different around you.
* Your partner’s co-workers act uncomfortable whenever you are around.
* Your normally talkative partner doesn’t talk as much as he once did and/or he stops asking your advice and opinions on things.
The most obvious sign that your partner may be cheating on you is that you have to ask yourself if he is cheating on you. While it’s true that some of us may be a bit more suspicious about cheating than others - especially if we’ve been burned in the past - if you think your partner may be cheating, the chances are high that he is, or he is at least considering it.
If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, you really only have two options to find out the truth. You can keep the suspicions to yourself and try to catch him in the act or you can come out and ask him if he is cheating. Some men will fess-up if they are asked directly, but others will lie through their teeth.
Of course, there is the option of saying or doing nothing. Some women really don’t want to know if their partners are cheating on them and they’ll turn a blind-eye to indiscretions. While this mentality generally went out the window during the 1950s and 1960s, some women prefer to remain in the dark.
What about you? Would you want to know? If so, would you come out and ask or would you put on your detective hat and try to catch him in the act?
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice on whether your partner is cheating, take a look at the following books:
Warning Signs: How to Know if Your Partner Is Cheating-and What to Do About It
Cheaters: 180 Telltale Signs Mates are Cheating and How to Catch Them
You Know I Love You: and eleven other endearing phrases from your cheating partner
Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering And Dealing With Infidelity
Exposing Your Cheating Lover: How to Catch Your Cheating Spouse or Cheating Boyfriend
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By Wee Haggis on 04 Jan 2010
I just had a really strange feeling that my partner was up to something - I can’t put my finger on why. The only outward sign that he was up to something was that he kept his mobile on his person at all times whereas usually he leaves it lying around in various places. If I sat next to him while he was texting, or received a text, he would tilt the screen away from me. On one occasion he received a text at around midnight, while we were in bed. I asked who it was at that time of night, he lied and said it was his sister. (I believed this at the time as they are close.) I felt terrible for having such a nasty suspicious mind. A week or so later i got that horrible feeling again - so when he left his phone sitting on the side while he got dressed I checked it - and caught him red handed. We were very tight for money, couldn’t afford to top up our mobiles, yet it turned out he had topped up his own phone on the sly so he could text his “friend”. Seemingly the girl in question was an old friend who he randomly bumped into - but when I attempted to phone the number - he grabbed both his mobile and the house phone. I then asked him to phone the girl on speaker and invite her round for dinner (no problem there if she genuinely was an old friend) and surprise surprise he refused. I still don’t know what went on - he swore blind he never touched her, and that the texting had only been going on a fortnight or so. To be honest I don’t believe him one bit - he knows this. To add insult to injury we were trying for a baby, and at one point he told me that he hid it from me in case I ‘got the wrong idea’ - why on earth would anyone try to hide an old friend who is married with a kid from their partner? If I bumped into one of my friends i’ve lost contact with - male or female - i would be really excited about it, tell my partner that night, and make arrangements for us all to meet up! Yes, I ‘m still with him.