With our active and busy lives, finding time to date can be difficult. If you are not into the bar scene and are sick of friends and family setting you up on dates with ‘the nicest guy’, what other options do you have? Many women are turning to online dating services to help them find their special someone and for quite a few, this decision has been life changing. If you have been considering giving an online dating service a try, but are a bit nervous about the idea of bonding with a stranger over the Internet, you are not alone. Many women shy away from these services because of the fear of the unseen stranger. However, with a little caution and street smarts, you can safely move into the world of online dating.
Find The Right Dating Site
Choosing the right online dating site is key to maintaining your safety when meeting people online. Though every site claims to be effective and wonderful, don’t always believe everything you read. Here are some things to look for in an online dating site:
Look for a site that charges a nominal fee for its services. Many of the free sites will accept anyone who decides to post a profile. Sites that charge a fee generally require a credit card for sign up, providing some authentication of personal information.
Check the security and privacy policies of the website before signing up. Be sure that your personal information is kept confident unless you choose to release it to others. Also, be certain that the site does not sell personal information about its clients to others.
Be sure that each client is put through some type of screening process. Online dating sites that take the time to screen their clients are looking out for the best interests and safety of their members.
Take a look at the setup of the site itself. If it looks like it was thrown together haphazardly, you might want to look elsewhere. You certainly don’t want to end up in the online equivalent of a dive bar.
Talk to others about their own dating website experiences. They will likely be happy to let you know which sites they have found to be helpful and which you should avoid.
Start Meeting People
Of course, the whole purpose on using an online dating service is to meet people, but we have all been cautioned about opening up to strangers on the Internet. How should you go about providing enough information to get to know someone without putting your self at risk?
Keep up your guard until you feel comfortable. Never let another user on an online dating service pressure you into revealing too much information about yourself.
Set up a separate email account specifically for online dating. As your personal email address through your Internet provider can divulge too much information, an address from a free email service is a safer alternative for communication.
Never give out your home or mobile phone numbers. Instead, use online voice chats to speak one on one with other users.
Gauge the reactions of the people you are getting to know. If they react poorly or strangely to a comment you make, be aware. Jealousy or indication of violent tendencies early on is a serious red flag.
Meeting Face to Face
Once you have met someone that you feel comfortable enough with to plan a face-to-face date, a whole new set of rules takes effect. Inviting this person into your world is a huge step that should not be taken lightly. Even if they seem like a great person, remember that this is the Internet and hiding things is much easier than in real life.
Choose a public place for your first meeting. Make sure it is in an area where many people are present and that you have a way out should things turn out to not be what you expected.
Make sure you let someone know where you are, whom you are with, and how you met him or her. Take a mobile phone along in case you need someone to come and get you or to let them know if your location is changing.
Stay alert and don’t allow yourself to be coerced into going somewhere that could be potentially dangerous. If your date begins acting shady and makes you feel uncomfortable, find a way to excuse yourself and head for the hills.
Never drink alcohol when on a first date with someone you met on the Internet. This could impair your judgement and increase the chances of something undesirable happening.
Pay for your own meal, admission, or entry fees, wherever you go on your first date. While many men feel obligated to pay, there are some who also expect something in return for their kindness. If he seems insistent, let him know that you appreciate the gesture, but would rather pay your own way for the time being.
Above all else, on every level of Internet dating, be sure to trust your own instincts. If you feel uncomfortable with a person, there is usually a good reason for your feelings. Should something about a website or its acceptance process seem off, stay away. Internet dating should be a comfortable experience, so if red flags seem to be flying, try a different approach.
Recommended Reading
For more information and advice about online dating, take a look at the following books:
You’ve Got Male (Tales of Internet Dating and How Women Compromise Themselves to have a Man in Their Life)
The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace
I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating
Online Dating for Dummies
The Boomer’s Guide to Online Dating
The Ugly Woman’s Guide to Internet Dating: What I Learned From 70 First Dates
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