I understand how you feel. When I first starting seeing my now-husband, one of his friends said to never ask him not to go to strip clubs. He said if he goes and sees beautiful women and then comes home to me I should be grateful. I disagree. If I don’t turn him on, then he should find another woman who does. I told him that I felt like I should be more than a warm, wet hole, and coming home after seeing women he was actually attracted to, turning off the lights and using me like a piece of meat while he thinks of ANYONE else actually means he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t like me, he’s using me and doesn’t feel anything for me.
My husband stopped going to those places on his own. We’re still married, and that friend’s wife divorced him for cheating on her. He’s still bouncing around between twenty-somethings, and we’re going on 17 years, and I still can’t believe that a cool, popular, fratlicious guy like my husband would be interested in a nerd like me. For some reason, he seems to be.