July 2, 2019 at 9:33 am #202321
I am! Not always happy, happy, happy but more happy than unhappy.
I have two wonderful jobs: one as an office assistant and the other as a published writer. I have my own apartment. I have fantastic friends and a family that care. I have travelled the world. I look after myself, both mentally and physically. I got my education and am reaching outside into the world. I am attractive and wear gorgeous clothes, too.
What makes you happy when you look at YOUR life?July 2, 2019 at 12:40 pm #202330
My husband and I have stuck to the plan we made 38 years ago. We have three children and things are not always easy with them but we know we have done our best with them. Our foster daughter is an amazing woman we see her now and then and Im proud that she obviously took some of our advice on board. Im happy when I see these young adults flourish and know we had a hand in that success.
Im happy when I see the sun rise or the sun set.Im happy when I see something awesome in nature or something just cute or pretty like a butterfly or a bird.
Im happy when I cuddle my dogs.
Im happy because I am loved,, My husband still tells me that every day (even on his bad days)..July 3, 2019 at 7:51 am #202349
Mostly yes! For so many reasons.July 7, 2019 at 7:43 pm #202412
While everything I said in my initial post is true, there are times when I am not so happy. Sometimes doubts creep in and you question yourself and your choices. I am glad to do the work I do – and would not give that up for anything – but I still feel I need more in my life. I need to not duck out of the odd event and just increase confidence within myself. I will never have the confidence of a superstar – and I realize that – but I still want to be free of anxiety and to lose the odd demon that sometimes pops into my head. The demon of lack of confidence I call it. I would never doubt my abilities but I still need to challenge myself mentally and even physically. I need goals and more ambitions: a reason to be here.
I need more in my life and to branch out further. But how does someone do that?July 8, 2019 at 6:09 am #202418
I think it is a false assumption to think that superstars have confidence Kitty. If you look closely you will see many are insecure. They just get on with things and put on a show, but do sometimes go to pieces.Experience does build confidence though. I remember, in the days when I gave the odd presentation too, that others who were fairly used to presenting fluffed up their lines often and were not as confident as their outward appearence showed. I was petrified doing it and felt very insecure. It came easier when caught by surprise (like on a visit to a school or something and finding several parents and staff had decided to attend while I sorted out their child’s needs and gave everyone instruction on equipment use).July 8, 2019 at 6:46 am #202420
I remember reading an article about the singer George Michael. He said at home he was still the shy chubby little boy of his childhood and that the George Michael we all saw was a coat he put on as he left the house.
Sometimes that super confident exterior is just show and those people are just as shy or self conscious as we are.July 8, 2019 at 7:20 pm #202429
Confidence can be faked or given an impression of. But I could never even pretend to have that level of supposed confidence. Of course, I can present an image of confidence, but am unable to carry it through. I have tried to act with more assertiveness and self confidence, but when it comes to following through, I can fail.
I have come to accept I will always be this person: whether I fit in the box or not. Because if I’m an oblong, I’m an oblong. If I am a rectangle, I am a rectangle. Basically, I fit myself instead of being what others want. I have always been slightly shy and this will always be me. If someone wants me to change, I won’t do it. People have to like ME: and not an image that is pretend.
AND I do agree with what you’ve said, cassandra: a super confident persona can be exactly that: pretend. Still, if I could pretend and not be tripped up myself, I would.
1 member liked this post:July 16, 2019 at 11:16 am #202509
I must say keeping busy and active makes me happy. I just ride the anxiety and push on. Still, I will never pretend to be someone I’m not. Which leads me onto my other point: I am learning to accept myself as I am. Because I will always be this way and won’t change to please someone else. Of course I still fit in and am friendly, etc. BUT I won’t be oblong if I am square: if you see what I mean. Staying true to oneself is so, so important. Now I realize time does change people, but my inner core will never change: I will always be kind to others and myself. I never want to be a bitter old woman.
Also, I am more happy than unhappy and realize absolute happiness may never happen. But I can be happy with what I do have, without desiring more.July 17, 2019 at 6:03 am #202534
I agree that keeping busy and active makes me happy too but it also often makes me very tired. I think I must be overdoing things at times. You don’t sound square Kitty lol.