Bad Week with husband

Female Forum Forums Getting Started Frequently Asked Questions Bad Week with husband

This topic contains 12 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Flowers 2 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #10383

    :down: Another bad week with my husband. He just can not get enough of pitting me down. He is painting another room which is our guest room
    and all he did was complain that I didn’t have everything out of the bedroom so he could paint. #1 I have a really bad back and find it hard to bend. If i Don’t bend I am all right. I was trying to keep busy doing other things in the house so he would leave me alone. Not this guy.
    He could care less that I was in the middle of cleaning our bedroom.
    Then he had the nerve to ask me why I didn’t get finish, when all day he
    harassed me to do other things and he picked apart what I did do.

    I am just lost on what to do about my situation. Like I said in one of my post. I have never been on my own and it scares me to think that is what I am faced with. It’s like he is purposely pushing me further and further away. He tried talking to me last night and I said nothing cause everything that comes out of my mouth he argues with me. So I found out the best thing to do is to just zip it up.

    He is busy up at our barn today. So it is a relief that he is not around.
    I do have some other things I would like to talk to you ladies about.
    I’ll have to do that another time . Thank you all for listening,

    Flowers

    #65328

    Have you thought about leaving the house on your own errands when he has projects at home to do? It sounds like he gets stressed out and takes it our on you. Try to identify what his triggers are and stay away?

    What about counseling for you both? If you are serious about staying together maybe speaking to someone who can help work out what is happening.

    If you are afraid to be alone maybe you could do some small things that will build your confidence. Take a day trip. Stay with a friend for a little while. Go away for a weekend by yourself.

    #65329

    :down: Actually I don’t have any friends and he made sure of that. I had many friends where I
    use to live and I think he was jealous of that. Where I live now there is a big ZERO here and I
    hate it. He told me that is to bad. He said it’s my turn to live where I want and if I didn’t like it
    that I could leave. I do have 2 sister in laws that I keep in touch with and they are more or less in the same situation, but live in a well populated area where there a lot of things to do.. how I live
    As far as me going to see any one. I did it once and he put up a fight with me about it. So i don’t bother. I am going to be 65 years old and when you get to be that age and go through what I have. You become a amune to it. It is not worth arguing with him about it. So I do nothing.
    Any way that is pretty much how I live. Thank you for listening.

    Flowers

    #65330

    Sending you lots of hugs Flowers.

    Are you nearby a library?

    I find libraries a place I can go when I just need a break and I have no money. Remember baby steps, figure out a plan that will work for you.

    I think it will also be helpful to possibly figure out what the stressful situations are and what might be triggering these fights. It sounds like your conflicts happen when there are projects done around the house?

    Perhaps you can make plans to not be home that day. Leave the big projects to him and work on getting some errands done.

    Do you have any hobbies?

    #65352

    Sorry Floer but your man sou ds like a selfish prick,
    He sounds like he o
    Loves himself much more than he loves you.
    I know I sound horrible but from what you are saying I cannot see you ever being happy while you live with him.
    Could you stay with frie ds where you used to live
    I do wish you well & i hope you are happy with life very soon

    #65357

    Only 65?

    I have plenty of patients who found love well past your age, some for the first time.

    You only get one life, is this how you want to spend it?

    #65359

    HI Flower, I remember you mentioned you depend on your husband financially so it’s difficult for you to be on your own. Is there anyway you can petition for your husband’s support if you have to move out?

    #65370

    Your husband sounds very controlling. It is sad that you’ve lost touch with your friends. I think you’re in chains and need to break free. I think the first step is going out and making friends. F*ck your husband: it is YOUR life and YOUR happiness. Who does he think he is to control you and hurt you like that? I have never met your husband and I never want to. I am sorry you’re caught up in this. You’re not over the hill yet: plenty of 65 year old’s find friendship and love. Walk away and never look back. And NEVER let anyone control you like that again.

    #65373

    :down: Ya know even with all the crap. I still love him. I’ll tell you why. In December of 2015
    we were suppose to go away for our 44th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately we could not go cause my appendix ruptured. I was at our local hospital and was there for 5 days. They
    could not find anything until the morning of the 6th day. That day they wanted to slice and
    dice me. My husband said no cause they did not know what they were looking for He had
    told me what they wanted to do and he said he wanted to take me to the mayo clinic in Arizona.
    I agreed. I talked to another doctor and he said that it was good thing that I didn’t let them cut me up at my local hospital cause I possiably would of died. When I went to the mayo they new what
    to do and today I am fine. I got the appendix removed plus I lost a lot of wait which I needed to do.When I was in surgery at mayo they just cleaned up the area where I was ruptured and removed itThe nurse said my husband was crying all night cause he thought he was going to loose me and he was with me every day that I was in the hospital and took care of me when I got home.

    Yeah he is controlling, but ya know something he saved my life and he never throws it up to me.
    Don’t get me wrong. He can be a miserable sun of a gun. Thanks for listening.

    #65382

    Hi Flowers,

    First I must apologize in advance if you will be mad at me for saying what I am about to say but I am really surprise you think he saved your life. For everything you have done for him and put up with him, at least he could do that for you. That’s what married people do for each other. Maybe he was afraid to be alone, maybe he knew that you would be his only chance and the only one who would do anything for him.

    So, just for that incident you are now committing yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness. Are you truly grateful for what he had done “for you” or you are trying to justify for yourself why you are still in this marriage?

    65 is still very young. I sincerely hope you would explore the idea of how you can get financial support from him, at least from the beginning until you can be on your own, so that you could move out.

    How about you tell him you seriously think about separating from him because you think you deserve to be in a more caring, nurturing and respectful relationship?

    #66002

    Flowers, have not heard from you for a while, hope all is fine at your end. Please send a note when you get a chance. We are all thinking of you.

    #66010

    I also hope you’re OK, Flowers. I know my post sounded harsh, but I do feel if you’re unhappy, then you should find a way to make yourself feel better. There are some toxic people out there and you certainly should not suffer them. Anyhow, I did not mean to patronize you. I would like to see how you’re doing. Do post soon.

    #66020

    ๐Ÿ™‚ Hi KitKatKitty,

    I am fine. things are going pretty good with my husband, but I am not for getting all the
    trouble and fights we had. For right now I will forgive him, but I will never forget the hurt he caused me. My son is the same way. Fortunately he treats his wife good, but not me,
    his mom. My doctor has increased my depression medication as it is a very low dose.
    We are just trying it to see ow I do. If there are any complications he will change it.
    As far as your post, don’t worry about it. It’s nice that you care about me. Thank you for listening.
    Flowers

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