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Best Friend In Medically Induced Coma

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    Maybe prayers are heard. I must admit I do believe in that kind of thing. All your support helped me, too.

    I know Vicky will recover and grow old. She is a fighter.


    I spoke to Vicky on the telephone last night: she is so much better. She doesn’t sound tired or too sick. In fact, her physiotherapy sessions have been going incredibly well.

    Having Vicky back is wonderful. I am just scared of her being re-infected. I know that sounds very negative but it is a real fear.

    Thank you all again for your support. You’ve helped me deal with what Vicky has gone through. I know my best friend has had a lucky escape. So many people have died from Coronavirus. I thank god for his mercy on Vicky.


    People still haven’t learnt from Vicky’s illness. She could’ve died and now she’s recovered they are reacting to her the same as before: it isn’t right. I am always there for Vicky. We have been speaking on the phone each night for over a week now. I just wish people were nicer to her. Because I know how it feels when people are nasty. She shouldn’t need to be near dead to have others respect her and be nice.

    Anyhow, Vicky is hoping to stay in her new property. It is just a case of convincing the council. Vicky loves where she is. It is the right neighbourhood for her. She deserves to be happy. Others need to be nicer and respect Vicky more. But Vicky will be Vicky. Oh: she is much stronger physically, too: she has been walking miles without problems.

    I just thought I’d update you all!


    Things have gone downhill again: she called the ambulance again. I knew she would eventually. She suffers from depression and is emotionally very needy. I told her on the phone she must listen fully to the health professional and NOT hang up the phone or walk out of the consultation. She needs to calm down and LISTEN to what people are saying. Instead of getting angry and riled up. She needs to learn to listen to people and follow their advice. If she doesn’t, they won’t be able to help her. Of course, if someone isn’t listening to her, she is right to tell them that they’re not listening and get them to understand her. But hanging up on people isn’t going to enable them to help her. Shouting and crying won’t work.

    I am very different to Vicky, which is why I don’t have the problems she has. BUT she needs to calm down and needs to listen to people. Until she opens her ears, she won’t get better. It is very frustrating.


    It’s a tricky situation as normal care is probably being heavily rationed at the moment so those that help are maybe jumping from crisis to crisis. I hope she gets the help she needs.


    She phoned the doctor’s surgery, told them she needed to speak to a doctor because she felt suicidal. She didn’t get a call from the doctor but the surgery did send an ambulance. She told the ambulance crew to f-off. And now she is complaining no one wants to help her. No one can help someone who is shouting and crying and refusing to listen. My friend does not seem to realize this. She has to CALM DOWN and LISTEN to the person trying to help her. They can’t help her if she gets angry. But that is the nature of having mental health issues. It is just so frustrating, though. They can’t help her if she gets angry. Why can’t she see this? I want to help Vicky and know she is worthwhile and a brilliant person. But she just loses control, where the only thing that can be done is restrain her. She really has a bad temper. There is more to the story but I am afraid I can’t tell you anymore. She needs help and needs the mental health services to pay attention to her and her needs. They also need to listen.


    I feel for you in this Kitty as it is a very complex situation. My field was not mental health so I cannot professionally comment on how things are done but what it tends to amount to is that if she is regarded as being mentally competent then nothing can be done unless she wishes it. The only real provisos I can think of on this would be if she had vulnerable children or was a danger to herself and others. Does she have a history of self harm? I think I would advise you to be there as a friend but be very careful of getting too involved in what sounds like a no win situation.

    Another point I would make is that, due to her recent bad illness, she may well be suffering from post traumatic shock. I remember somone who I know well having undergone neuro surgery and suffering a slight stroke afterward, in recovery at home calling an ambulance several times for various non-descript issues. In time this passed but, I feel, it was the major shock causing long term effects.


    Oh dear she really does need help and I agree this could be post trauma from the coma and illness. These things often leave people confused and combative.

    It is very difficult to treat esp as an outsider you may well be a goo friend but that counts for nothing in the medical world with all the safeguards and checks there are now days.. It is very frustrating. Of course you could ask her if she would like to talk to someone and offer to go with her ‘just to make sure she is ok ‘ she may feel safer accepting help if she feels there is someone there to back her up.

    Apart from that there is very little you can do until she becomes a danger to herself or others..

    One lady I spoke to had  a husband with dementia and he would regularly hit her but she got no help until he attacked her in the parking lot of walkmart and someone dialled 911 then he hit a police officer and lo and behold he was admitted to a MH hospital for safeguarding and tests. She finally got the help she needed but only because his rage exploded in public..


    Im very afraid it might take something like that to happen before anyone listens to your friend.


    I had not considered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But I have now. I shall look into it online. I did wonder if her Coronavirus illness could’ve affected her mental health. I think it has.

    Thank you for all your support with this. Because Vicky is a good person. She can’t help her mental health/PTSD [if that is what it is, which could be very likely]. She would have to be diagnosed by the doctor/mental health professional.

    Thank you all, again.


    [quote quote=214635]There is more to the story but I am afraid I can’t tell you anymore.[/quote]
    It sounds like she had problems prior to her COVID-19 issues.  Perhaps the PTSD stems from “the rest of her story” rather than her most recent experiences.


    She is under hospital psychiatric care now. I feel glad in a sense that she is being looked after. Because she has been badly hurt in the past and doesn’t know how to take care of herself emotionally. She is under the best medical care.

    I shall be sending her a letter and get well card within the next few days. I may also put in an extra gift, such as a colouring-in book: she loves them. It sounds babyish but it is something Vicky enjoys doing. Oh: I bought her a shop gift card and book for her birthday. Her birthday isn’t for another few months, but I wanted to be ahead.

    Thank you for all your responses: it has helped clarify things in my mind. And – in turn – will help me support Vicky during these tough times.


    [quote quote=215098]It sounds babyish but it is something Vicky enjoys doing.[/quote]
    Actually, there are quite a few adult coloring books out there, and some of them are really intricate and artistic.


    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by TestDummyCO.

    A colouring book is something I would do to relax a bit even though I do more serious painting and drawing. I have a painting by numbers I did a few years back too. I did not use the original colours as it was an old set in which they had dried out so just worked out my own. It would not be beneath me or something I would think an insult.


    Amazon do some lovely adult colouring books (and some rather rude ones too).

    Im glad that your friend is getting professional help maybe now her problems will get sorted out and she will be able to properly recover from everything thats bothering her.

    Youre right that little gestures like a card will let her know you are thinking of her even if she doesnt accept it now she will understand that you didnt abandon her.


    Thank you all, again.

    I am glad you mentioned about adult colouring-in books. I was wrong to use the term “babyish”. I suppose I felt people would think it silly. But – as said – adults also use colouring-in books.

    I shall check out Amazon and see what they’ve got to offer. Thank you again!

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 30 total)
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