August 14, 2019 at 12:20 am #203134
I’ve been following the Body Positivity movement lately, and I know many people have issues around it (permission to engage in an unhealthy lifestyle, etc…). Regardless of how people may feel about this, there’s no doubt we’ve entered a crisis with young children wanting to diet, lose or gain weight, and exercise excessively. Especially those engaged in dance, gymnastics, etc…
As a life coach hoping to having a positive effect on this issue, I’m wondering what parents of pre-teen kids would like people to say to their children, and what they hate hearing people say to their children, about their bodies in this regard. Please feel free to share with me privately if you’re not comfortable posting here in the forum.
Your insight would be so valuable. Thanks.August 14, 2019 at 7:55 am #203149
Weight was never mentioned or made an issue in our house. We had healthy eating and fruit was a free food ie; the fruit bowl was always accessable and the children never needed to ask if they could have fruit. Cookies etc were limited to treat time. Saturdays were christened ‘fat Saturday’ the children could choose the menu (often they still wanted healthy options) and they had pocket money of which half they could spend of sweets (candy) and the other half was for a comic book or to spend or save as they wished. These were the only sweets they got all week and most times they were happy to have them while they watched a movie or childrens tv.
I dont have womens magazines in my house I dont diet and until I got sick weight was never an issue.
I was shocked when my nine year old daughter came home and said she was fat.. The girls at school had told her because she could not close he thumb and middle finger around her wrist this meant she was fat , actually she was very slim and petite.
I tackeled her teacher about this who thought it was nothing to worry about and brushed it aside.
Basically I have taught my children that being clean and tidy is imprtant but what really counts is who you are on the inside. When they were being awful to each other I used to tell them ‘go look at yourself in the mirror , take a good look and if you wouldnt want to be your own best friend then you need to change what youre doing because if you wouldnt want to be friends with yourself why would anyone else want to?
August 18, 2019 at 11:35 am #203247
- This reply was modified 4 days, 22 hours ago by cassandra.
I am not a parent at this stage of my life, but have strong principles when it comes to parenting. Food and diet is something I would strongly instil in a daughter. I would show them – through example – rather than tell them. Words can be ignored or pushed aside, whereas actions have a much more lasting effect. I would show them through my actions that it is OK to get hungry and eat. It is OK to have the odd sweet. It is OK to feel proud of oneself without giving in to others. I think instiling high self esteem and an inner feeling of safety, any child of mine would not allow others to give her an eating disorder. She would be strong enough to protect herself without harming herself or putting herself down.
Children do learn by example and it is that inner security that decides how others pressures a child: and therefore how adulthood turns out. And also whether or not she ends up with an eating disorder.
Actions speak louder than words, as the old saying goes.
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