Did I handle this situation with my platonic female friend alright?

Female Forum Forums General Discussion A Woman’s View Did I handle this situation with my platonic female friend alright?

This topic contains 19 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #198149

    Did I handle this situation okay with my friend? Thank you to those who try to read this!

    Okay so I had this very good female friend named Stephanie, who I was very close with. I do not have any romantic interest in her buy I care about her very much as a friend and she would always confide in me and we would both encourage each other. She has a very jealous boyfriend and she is a jealous girlfriend with him as well. They both hate it when the other has friends or talks, texts, hang out with a member of the opposite sex. However, me and her were good friends and she trusted me.

    She would always talk to me about her problems with her boyfriend and I would always try to help her and give her advice. She would tell me that she usually does not speak with other people about this but she would openly talk to me about it. She even used to talk to me about how she felt like she needed a break from her relationship and she even asked me for my opinion on whether or not she should break up with her boyfriend. I was always very supportive of her relationship with her boyfriend and tried to help her, like a true, good friend should and I enjoyed helping her with whatever she needed. Me and her used to work together but then I left the job. However, we both joined a technical college course together and we were excited to be doing it together as friends. She even encouraged me to do it with her.

    So we hung out together and talked all the time at school. Everything was good. However, all of a sudden she started distancing herself and acting more cold with me. I never did anything inappropriate, flirtatious, or wrong to her. However, she told me she started thinking that I like her as more than friends for no apparent reason. She stated that it was because when we walk together in the halls and during the breaks I wait outside the restroom for her. Even though we had been doing that for several months at this point and she understood why I did it before as we would always hang out together us 2. We used to do everything in school together and she enjoyed my company before.I assured her that I did not like her in that way and she said she believed me and trusted me.

    However, things remained a little bit weird. She blocked me on messenger after I sent her a happy thanksgiving text message in a platonic sense as I do with my other close female friends and some close guy friends of mine as well. I am someone that treats the few friends I have like family. She did not tell me before that she wanted to stop texting her out of respect to her boyfriend because I swear if she did, I know for DARN sure I would have remembered. I reassured her that she has nothing to worry about and she told me that she knows that but that I have annoyed her and she was very rude, callous with me for an extended period. Me and her used to always enjoy texting each other and we used to interact a lot on social media (snapchat, facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp) before and did not have a problem with it before. School became an absolutely painful hell for me because she would avoid me and act like I did not mean **** to her when I had always been so good to her. I was never mad, rude back to her or anything just extremely saddened.

    I took it easy for a couple of weeks but I still tried to assure her that I have done nothing wrong and apologized to her and letting her know that I want to fix this because I care about our friendship. Then one of our last few days before Christmas break, I came to school and we crossed each other in the parking lot and we actually walked and talked with each other sort of like before and it felt nice because this was the best things had been between us in almost a month but then we were sitting in a lobby in the college together on a sofa just chatting like normal, and then when a empty spot became available on another sofa next to ours she proceeded to move to that spot and she put her legs up on the couch so maybe I figured she wanted leg space. I did nothing wrong and said nothing because other classmates of ours were there but I was definitely concerned because she never used to do that before. Then later on, there was a situation where it was me, her, and another guy (this guy was gay by the way) walking to another lobby for something that we had to do for school. There were two sofas, both designed for two people to sit on each.

    The other guy sat down first and as soon as he sat down she immediately went to sit with him instead of taking the empty couch so she could have more leg room( like she did earlier) And then this guy got called into the interview first, this leaving me and her alone but as soon as he got up…she put her legs up on the couch, this made it clear to me that she was doing that to keep me from sitting next to her and this made me very uncomfortable and frustrated. however, she told me one day that she truly does believe me in what I’m saying to her but at the same time she feels it is disrespectful to her boyfriend for us to be so close and that she would not like for him to have a female friend as good as me either so she doesn’t want to feel like she is doing something wrong to her boyfriend.

    I asked if we could take a selfie together as friends in class as we were not doing any work and we both were dressed really nicely that day for we had to do a mock interview for the program we were doing and we just took a picture as a class. I just wanted to take a selfie with her just to have a nice memory between us both despite all that has happened, I asked for a selfie with her, but she said no. The thing is she said no in a manner that I felt seemed like she was not understanding my intent behind it. She left class a minute or so later because she had to go to work and I wanted to reassure to her that I meant nothing inappropriate by the selfie but remember, she had blocked me on messenger/my number so I could not simply text her later about the matter.

    Plus, I was not sure if she would be coming to clinicals tomorrow, so I had to leave class and jog after her as she had already walked down the hall and towards the parking lot in order to try to ex explain to her. It looked awkward but that was the only way I could speak with her. We went on winter break and did not have contact with each other. She took me off her snapchat and I think k it was because I meant to type something to someone else but then I realized I was typing to her. And I obviously backspace all of it and te Ted who I meant to text but the thing with snapchat is that once you start chatting with someone it sends the other person the notification even if you never actually sent a message. So she took as me trying to text her when I really was not. and when I asked her about it she told me that she took off all of the guy friends from her snapchat but I feel that is a lie.

    She eventually took me off her Instagram as well. I wrote a letter to her reassuring to her that she can trust me, apologized for any misunderstanding, letting her know that I care about her as a friend and I gave it to her on the last day of the program. She told me she would read it later as we would be busy in clinicals that day. Before she left I told her God bless you and she said the same to me. I just feel like she handled the whole situation so poorly because I would honestly never do anything to hurt her. I acted in good faith. She told me that her boyfriend gets very angry with her when it comes to her speaking with other guys at all.

    It has been almost 2 full years since this issue occurred from November 2016 to January 2017. This past October I sent her a request on instagram and it stayed on “requested” for almost 3 weeks until all of a sudden she apparently blocked me on Instagram. This hurt me because it’s been 2 years and she still seems to not understand me. I still have her on Facebook and I still like some of her posts from time to time. I have been patient and for the past year and a half I had been doing really well mentally and so on and I was hoping that maybe time would heal things. Again, I am not looking to text her again or talk like we used to. I just want her to understand and know that she can trust me as a friend.

    I would honestly never do anything with the Intention of hurting, sabotaging her at all so this just saddens me/breaks my heart deeply that my once, very good friend does not seem to believe me. Did I handle this correctly? I understand if she wants to respect her boyfriend but their is a better, more communication oriented way to handle this. I do not hate her, and I honestly only want the best for her in her life and for her relationship with her boyfriend to prosper. I am just deeply saddened, demoralized by this because if somehow I hurt her unintentionally, it has made me feel awful. :..(

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    #198151

    Hi, welcome to the forum.

    It is difficult to say whether you handled things right  as there are several different viewpoints to things. Without having them as well, I will just make observations. One is that, although it is good to be close friends to someone, other people may read it as being something more. No matter how innocent it is there will always be that uncertainty. Her boyfriends may feel that uncertainty, and other people may see you as an item so she may be seen as in a relationship, even if not.

    Another point is that, even if your relationship is only platonic, it still is a relationship. Being friends means just that, but there is a fine line between being there and being there too much. I suspect (sorry if I am reading too deep here and getting it wrong) that when things started to go pear shaped you started feeling more emotion as your worries increased. She would read this and things would steadily get worse.

    I won’t go further except to ask you to think of the different viewpoints – yours, her’s, her boyfriend’s and other bystanders / possible future boyfriends. Think about your own relationships too.

    It may well be time for you both to move on. In time things may settle, but at the moment emotions with you both seem too high. Be friendly when you see her, but my advice is not to push it.

    #198164

    I am truly sorry for what you’ve gone through with your friend. From your post, I understand that you were always there for her and was always affectionate and tried to be a wonderful friend. But maybe she got scared of your affection and pushed you away because of that fear. Fear can make people push away those they care a lot about. That is just a guess, but maybe she feels upset deep inside that she’s lost you and misses your friendship. But her pride won’t allow her to contact you.

    I think she has issues [like everyone else] and just is very insecure and uncomfortable with affection. She doesn’t hate you: I’m sure of it. She has to rekindle the friendship herself, however. I think she allowed you in and now feels sorrow that you’re gone. That is how I see it.

    As to what you can do: either let sleeping dogs lie or just contact her one more time and say she can call whenever. But just one tweet/text/etc. It has been a hard situation on both of you and maybe I have gotten her wrong, but my intuition tells me this.

    #198186

    Hi, welcome to the forum.

    It is difficult to say whether you handled things right as there are several different viewpoints to things. Without having them as well, I will just make observations. One is that, although it is good to be close friends to someone, other people may read it as being something more. No matter how innocent it is there will always be that uncertainty. Her boyfriends may feel that uncertainty, and other people may see you as an item so she may be seen as in a relationship, even if not.

    Another point is that, even if your relationship is only platonic, it still is a relationship. Being friends means just that, but there is a fine line between being there and being there too much. I suspect (sorry if I am reading too deep here and getting it wrong) that when things started to go pear shaped you started feeling more emotion as your worries increased. She would read this and things would steadily get worse.

    I won’t go further except to ask you to think of the different viewpoints – yours, her’s, her boyfriend’s and other bystanders / possible future boyfriends. Think about your own relationships too.

    It may well be time for you both to move on. In time things may settle, but at the moment emotions with you both seem too high. Be friendly when you see her, but my advice is not to push it.

    Hello there, I appreciate your reply. I just wanted to ask you, what do you mean when you say that when things became “pear shaped” and then when I became more “emotional”. I just want to make sure that I am understanding exactly what you were trying to say?

    #198190

    I am truly sorry for what you’ve gone through with your friend. From your post, I understand that you were always there for her and was always affectionate and tried to be a wonderful friend. But maybe she got scared of your affection and pushed you away because of that fear. Fear can make people push away those they care a lot about. That is just a guess, but maybe she feels upset deep inside that she’s lost you and misses your friendship. But her pride won’t allow her to contact you.

    I think she has issues [like everyone else] and just is very insecure and uncomfortable with affection. She doesn’t hate you: I’m sure of it. She has to rekindle the friendship herself, however. I think she allowed you in and now feels sorrow that you’re gone. That is how I see it.

    As to what you can do: either let sleeping dogs lie or just contact her one more time and say she can call whenever. But just one tweet/text/etc. It has been a hard situation on both of you and maybe I have gotten her wrong, but my intuition tells me this.

    Hello there, I appreciate your response. I really do hope that she does not hate me or dislike me as you say as I honestly know I would never do anything with the intention of hurting her. I just thought 2 years would be long enough for things to pass through. I dont know if she is sad that I’m gone though. I have given her every chance to still be able to have some contact with me like trying to add her on snapchat over a year and a half ago and the request I recently sent her on Instagram but she still refused to accept either one of those. She is insecure and like I said, her and her Boyfriend have a very jealous relationship with each other. And I understand that, they can be that way if they want to but at the same time that does not mean that she had to handle this the way she did. That is what hurts me. I honestly hope they go on to get married and all as I could not have been more supportive of her relationship with him. And it saddens me that she could not just communicate with me better about setting boundaries as I was all ears for her. Thank you for your response.

    #198191

    Hello there, I appreciate your reply. I just wanted to ask you, what do you mean when you say that when things became “pear shaped” and then when I became more “emotional”. I just want to make sure that I am understanding exactly what you were trying to say?

    #198192

    Hello there, I appreciate your response. I really do hope that she does not hate me or dislike me as you say as I honestly know I would never do anything with the intention of hurting her. I just thought 2 years would be long enough for things to pass through. I dont know if she is sad that I’m gone though. I have given her every chance to still be able to have some contact with me like trying to add her on snapchat over a year and a half ago and the request I recently sent her on Instagram but she still refused to accept either one of those. She is insecure and like I said, her and her Boyfriend have a very jealous relationship with each other. And I understand that, they can be that way if they want to but at the same time that does not mean that she had to handle this the way she did. That is what hurts me. I honestly hope they go on to get married and all as I could not have been more supportive of her relationship with him. And it saddens me that she could not just communicate with me better about setting boundaries as I was all ears for her. Thank you for your response and sorry that I am posting this twice, I was not sure whether to use the “reply” or “quote” tab to interact with responders.

    #198199

    Hello there, I appreciate your reply. I just wanted to ask you, what do you mean when you say that when things became “pear shaped” and then when I became more “emotional”. I just want to make sure that I am understanding exactly what you were trying to say?

    What I mean’t by pear shaped was when things started to go wrong (pear shaped is a saying here for going wrong). Another way to say is that when things started going wrong your emotions were raised (perhaps without you realising) such that your judgement was impaired and you worked harder at things, which may have seemed like you were getting too intense with her.

    #198207

    Hello there, I appreciate your reply. I just wanted to ask you, what do you mean when you say that when things became “pear shaped” and then when I became more “emotional”. I just want to make sure that I am understanding exactly what you were trying to say?

    What I mean’t by pear shaped was when things started to go wrong (pear shaped is a saying here for going wrong). Another way to say is that when things started going wrong your emotions were raised (perhaps without you realising) such that your judgement was impaired and you worked harder at things, which may have seemed like you were getting too intense with her.

    I see what you mean by that, when I noticed that she changed with me perhaps I did start to get too emotional about this. Even though I never had any romantic feelings or anything and I treated her pretty much that same way I treat my other platonic  female friends. But I understand that people are different. I spoke about this with another close female friend of mine and she pretty much told me that people are different because I treated her the same way I treated this friend. And me and the friend I spoke with about this texted, and interacted on social media more than I did with the friend I had the issue with. But that’s the problem I guess, I care too much. That tends to be the theme in all of my friendships honestly. I do not like hurting people’s feelings, especially a good friend of mine and I just wanted to let her know how sorry I was because I honestly meant no harm to her or her relationship.

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    #198244

    I think the friendship is lost now: I can only guess her thinking. I wish I were a mind reader. But when someone puts barriers up like that, there is little you can do. No amount of emotionally reasoning her will work: she has made up her mind and it is time to let her go. She obviously does not care [aside from what I said in my previous post]. She is now a concrete wall and no amount of trying to understand will work. You’ve done all you can: and that is all anybody can do.

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    #198271

    I think the friendship is lost now: I can only guess her thinking. I wish I were a mind reader. But when someone puts barriers up like that, there is little you can do. No amount of emotionally reasoning her will work: she has made up her mind and it is time to let her go. She obviously does not care [aside from what I said in my previous post]. She is now a concrete wall and no amount of trying to understand will work. You’ve done all you can: and that is all anybody can do.

    Yeah, I understand that. I really do want to move on completely. But is is just very hard sometimes, especially when you really care. It would be so much easier if I did not care at all. I wish her all the best in her life and truly hope that she accomplishes all her goals that her and I used to talk about together. The only thing I really pray for at this point is honestly one day that she can understand that I had no bad intentions with anything I did and that I support her. Thank you for your thoughtful responses,  I really appreciate that.

    #198275

    Hi,

    My recommendation is to let her be and move on, especially since you haven’t talked to her in over two years.  You keep saying you care, but to me my feeling is a more appropriate word might be “obsessed.”

    You say you never intended her any harm and you felt your relationship with her was platonic, and I believe you that’s how you consciously feel.  She may have gotten another vibe from you, especially when you’re so persistent with her when she’s given you obvious signs she doesn’t wish to have a relationship with you like you’ve been wanting with her.  I feel from what you’ve written, she’s made it very clear to you she’d like you to back off, and you have not at all respected her wishes, but instead almost seem like you’re gong to a harassment or stalker level.

    I’ve been in her position, only guys who did that to me were much scarier.  I’ve become very wary of men who say they have lots of women friends, and who make a big deal about telling me they only want to be platonic friends and have no romantic interest in me, I feel this is a lie and meant to put me off guard, but like I said I do have sympathy because I don’t believe he’s really plotting this, I think he’s really trying to make himself believe it.

    But I do believe men seem to have a very different view of relationships than women do, and I’d recommend you try to look from her perspective and understand how she may feel threatened by you, and things you’ve done you’re convinced were innocent may really not have been so from where she’s standing.  I believe many men are truly unaware of what you’re doing, but we have a big cultural problem with a lack of acknowledgement and respect for women’s boundaries and desires.

    I’m sorry if I’m sounding really harsh, I don’t want you to feel like a creep, I just want to give you a perspective for a learning experience.

    I feel ultimately what’s important, is no matter what you felt your intentions are, when she made it clear she’d like you to leave her alone you should’ve done so immediately.  Please let her be and let her live her life and move on.

    #198286

    Hi,

    My recommendation is to let her be and move on, especially since you haven’t talked to her in over two years. You keep saying you care, but to me my feeling is a more appropriate word might be “obsessed.”

    You say you never intended her any harm and you felt your relationship with her was platonic, and I believe you that’s how you consciously feel. She may have gotten another vibe from you, especially when you’re so persistent with her when she’s given you obvious signs she doesn’t wish to have a relationship with you like you’ve been wanting with her. I feel from what you’ve written, she’s made it very clear to you she’d like you to back off, and you have not at all respected her wishes, but instead almost seem like you’re gong to a harassment or stalker level.

    I’ve been in her position, only guys who did that to me were much scarier. I’ve become very wary of men who say they have lots of women friends, and who make a big deal about telling me they only want to be platonic friends and have no romantic interest in me, I feel this is a lie and meant to put me off guard, but like I said I do have sympathy because I don’t believe he’s really plotting this, I think he’s really trying to make himself believe it.

    But I do believe men seem to have a very different view of relationships than women do, and I’d recommend you try to look from her perspective and understand how she may feel threatened by you, and things you’ve done you’re convinced were innocent may really not have been so from where she’s standing. I believe many men are truly unaware of what you’re doing, but we have a big cultural problem with a lack of acknowledgement and respect for women’s boundaries and desires.

    I’m sorry if I’m sounding really harsh, I don’t want you to feel like a creep, I just want to give you a perspective for a learning experience.

    I feel ultimately what’s important, is no matter what you felt your intentions are, when she made it clear she’d like you to leave her alone you should’ve done so immediately. Please let her be and let her live her life and move on.

    Hello, I understand what you are trying to say and I definitely want to make it clear to you that I am aware that there are a lot of men out there that have female friends that they are just trying to date or have sex with and so on. But I promise you, that’s not what my friendship was with her. I have other friends that I treat the same way and they know I would not do anything to hurt them. I know in my heart I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. But all the things that we used to do and talk about as friends, she simply started having a problem with it and her relationship with her boyfriend was a huge part of it. I have no problem with her needing to abide more by those rules they have for each other. My problem was the manner in which she communicated it to me. You need to understand that before she would communicate with me better about these things and I would do what she asked of course. However, it’s only when she started handling things poorly that it really became an issue. I was always very supportive of her relationship with her boyfriend and know that I still honestly hope that it works out for her. And I would not day that I am obsessed with this. As I mentioned in the post, for about a year and a half I was doing really well and not giving this a lot of thought. Plus I still have her on facebook and I like some of her posts from time to time. And I am not at all looking to text her or direct message her at all, I understand that we should not do that. I just wanted to be able to have her back on those platforms that’s all. But please, I do not want you to think that I do not value women’s rights or am one of those creepy men that does things and is oblivious. I really do think if me and her had better communicated about all of this that this would have ended up so much better. Meaning that we agree to not text, message, call but also more genuinely understand each other. And yes, I feel that I let her down as a friend in that regard because I could have done better with that. But please understand, that I literally did not change with her at all for her to start thinking this way. I feel it’s more that her situation changed with her boyfriend and there had to be new boundaries. I just wish she could have communicated that better to me. That is really all I ask for. If we had agreed not to text, or call anymore but she understood me and I more clearly understood her, I would be A-okay right now. That is what makes this hard for me. I am not stalking her and i know that i would never hurt her intentionally. So do not take me for one of those men that tries to manipulate women because this is the first time I have ever gone through a situation like this and I feel more sad about it than anything. I work for a suicide hotline and speak with so many young women that are being mistreated, abused, manipulated and so on so I am very much aware of just how much of a problem women not being treated properly by men is. Me and her used to even speak about issues like that all the time. And I know that I need to let go, as I have said before, I only pray for the best for her life and truly hope that she is happy and able to have the life that she used to talk to me about wanting. Thank you for your response. It is appreciated. But please, do not confuse me for one of those men that does not care about respecting women.

    #198287

    I sympathize with your situation, and I completely believe you that you say you believe your intentions are so.  I don’t feel many men really go out and say “I’m going to harass a woman today”, I feel many just can’t see what they’re doing, and I just really strongly suggest you step back and look at what you’re saying objectively and from another point of view.

    Why does her communication have to be on your terms?  From what you’ve said, she really sounds to me like she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to be friends with you, but you keep insisting she should talk to you in a way you lay out and expect, and I feel it’s really common for men to feel women are supposed to conform to male ideas and rules, but why can’t she do things her way, and why can’t you respect her wishes and leave her alone?

    You’re saying you blame things on her boyfriend, why do you feel another man must be controlling her?  Why can’t you be open to the idea she just doesn’t want to be friends with you?  Do you feel every woman you act friendly toward owes you friendship in a manner you decide is right?  Maybe she was your friend once, but obviously in her opinion things have changed and she doesn’t want a relationship with you like you feel you once had, and that’s her choice.

    I use the word “obsessed” because that’s a vibe I’m getting from your messages, when you say you were friends years ago, but you still can’t seem to let her go, I believe your feelings for her may be quite different than you realize for it to be so difficult for you to say goodbye to a female friend you’ve grown apart from.  And if I’m getting this just from reading, can you imagine what she might’ve felt from your interactions with her?  It really doesn’t matter what you feel your intentions are, what matters is how she feels.

    She doesn’t owe you friendship, she doesn’t owe you an explanation, and she doesn’t have to do things your way.  If you really just care about her as a friend, you should be able to respect her wishes by leaving her alone and letting her live her life.  And if you can’t do that, I feel you may need to honestly re-evaluate differences between how you want to treat women and how you really do.

    I’m really so terrible sorry if I’m sounding mean, I don’t want to cause you harm, and I don’t dislike you.  I just feel right now in this situation, being completely honest with you is how I can most help.

    #198288

    I sympathize with your situation, and I completely believe you that you say you believe your intentions are so. I don’t feel many men really go out and say “I’m going to harass a woman today”, I feel many just can’t see what they’re doing, and I just really strongly suggest you step back and look at what you’re saying objectively and from another point of view.

    Why does her communication have to be on your terms? From what you’ve said, she really sounds to me like she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to be friends with you, but you keep insisting she should talk to you in a way you lay out and expect, and I feel it’s really common for men to feel women are supposed to conform to male ideas and rules, but why can’t she do things her way, and why can’t you respect her wishes and leave her alone?

    You’re saying you blame things on her boyfriend, why do you feel another man must be controlling her? Why can’t you be open to the idea she just doesn’t want to be friends with you? Do you feel every woman you act friendly toward owes you friendship in a manner you decide is right? Maybe she was your friend once, but obviously in her opinion things have changed and she doesn’t want a relationship with you like you feel you once had, and that’s her choice.

    I use the word “obsessed” because that’s a vibe I’m getting from your messages, when you say you were friends years ago, but you still can’t seem to let her go, I believe your feelings for her may be quite different than you realize for it to be so difficult for you to say goodbye to a female friend you’ve grown apart from. And if I’m getting this just from reading, can you imagine what she might’ve felt from your interactions with her? It really doesn’t matter what you feel your intentions are, what matters is how she feels.

    She doesn’t owe you friendship, she doesn’t owe you an explanation, and she doesn’t have to do things your way. If you really just care about her as a friend, you should be able to respect her wishes by leaving her alone and letting her live her life. And if you can’t do that, I feel you may need to honestly re-evaluate differences between how you want to treat women and how you really do.

    I’m really so terrible sorry if I’m sounding mean, I don’t want to cause you harm, and I don’t dislike you. I just feel right now in this situation, being completely honest with you is how I can most help.

    No, your not harming me at all.  I appreciate you sharing your honest feelings with me as that is why I joined this forum. And I understand what you are saying. I know things do not have to be on my terms and I do want her to live her life. And I want to move on with mine. I guess I just feel so much shame with myself that this escalated the way it did even though I never had a bad intention. I guess I have not really forgiven myself for that. And I only mentioned her boyfriend because they have a very jealous relationship where they each hate and get angry with each other whenever one of them even talks to someone who is of the opposite sex. And she told me that she did not want to do things that seemed disrespectful to him anymore because if it was the other day around, she would be angry with him too. I think she felt that we were getting too emotionally close. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about “emotional cheating” and maybe she felt that we had unintentionally slipped into that. And if that is the way they want to be in their relationship with them having these boundaries with each other, they can do whatever they want of course. I know I have no say in the matter. This was all just a huge mess and i feel very regretful about it all.  She was really someone that had my back, and she trusted me before. and I feel so bad that I hurt her unintentionally. I’ve been better about this but I still have more progress to make. I only pray to God for the absolute best for her and her loved ones in her life and have no ill-will towards her. I just hope one day she can understand that I never meant her any harm or had a bad intention within me.

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