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Fear of losing another baby…

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    I have been off and on about whether or not I want a child/children. This has been going on the past 4 or 5 years now. I have been pregnant 3 times and each have ended in miscarriage. I want to be able to experience pregnancy and childbirth but then again I do not want to go through the heartache of losing the baby.

    My 1st miscarriage happened when I was 23 (2007) and it was an ectopic pregnancy and was 8 weeks. I was in jail when it happened and it almost killed me. My Dr had to remove part of my tube due to it being badly damaged. I was heartbroken.

    My 2nd happened 3 years later and was another tubal pregnancy. I was right at 8 weeks again when I lost the baby. Once again I was heartbroken. At this time is when I decided that I did not want to get pregnant again.

    My last miscarriage happened in 2013 but this was just a miscarriage. I also found out that I am Rh-. My Dr wanted to do an exploratory surgery to see why I kept miscarrying and had asked if he needed to give me a hysterectomy would I be ok with it. I told him that I would be fine since these 3 pregnancies did not last full term.

    I got a good report and no hysterectomy but he did say that I would be “high risk” if I was to get pregnant again. My world shattered and I was so heartbroken. Would I ever have the joy of being a mother? Would I ever get to feel what it is like to be pregnant? To feel the baby kick? These were all questions I had no clue about.

    Now as I am approaching the age of 35 I have decided that I do not want to give up the hope but I am so scared of losing another baby. I don’t think I can handle it again. I know there is adoption and other options but I want to experience it for myself.

    Has anyone else been through this and had a healthy full term pregnancy? How did you get over the fear?


    Good morning NEB (NotEasilyBroken)! Very good and very serious post! I had two miscarriages within 6 months which ended with a DnC both times. It wasn’t until 2 months later that I became pregnant with my first son. I had two more successful pregnancies after that. That was when I was in my 20’s. I am 50 now and my fiance and I are considering having a tubal reversal so we can try to have a baby or two together. He is very optimistic but I have times when I am not so much BUT why would it NOT be successful?! I try to look at it this way. So, I am hoping this will boost your esteem and positivity! You are much younger than I am and more capable of becoming pregnant than I am, yet I am fairly optimistic about our own future. You got this! Take one day at a time. Just ONE day at a time. You have a beautiful life in front of you and there IS something special in it. Good luck! *Hugs!*


    Thank you for the kind words! I talked to my mom and best friend about it and they both say that it will happen when the good man upstairs sees it fit. I feel the same. Like they say, everything happens for a reason. I am not going to give up on the hope of becoming a mother one day. I wish you and your fiance lots of baby dust! I am in the process of finding work here in MD and once I get insurance I am wanting to see a fertility specialist to make sure that all is A-OK with me and that there will be no issues in trying. I was with my ex for 4 years and never used protection or tried to not have a baby and nothing happened. I just want to have a clean bill of health before I REALLY start to try.

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