Feeling Trapped

Female Forum Forums General Discussion General Chat Feeling Trapped

This topic contains 21 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #201640

    Unfortunately I was not able to go to work today. Not only am I scared of losing my job, I have also realized how trapped and isolated I feel. I am also emotionally confused: I do not know where I am going and where I am going to. Plus, I have no partner, so am lonely.

    Saving graces: I have my best friend, Vicky. I have my family nearby: all of that. But I am stood still and don’t like it anymore. I mean, what should I do? I can’t stay in one place forever. Because people change, times change and I need to move with those times.

    Have you ever felt that way? If you have, what did you do to improve your lot? Has travel helped? Or taking up a hobby? What would you advise I do?

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    #201648

    I hope you weren’t feeling unwell (as you weren’t able to go to work today). You’re not alone in being scared of losing your job. A lot of us feel that way. A job not only helps us pay the bills but it can also give us purpose and meaning to our life as well as providing a means of socializing/communicating with real people (as opposed to just chatting online).

    It’s perfectly normal to feel confused. There are so many choices, so many directions we can go in life that we can often feel overwhelmed.

    As you feel trapped and isolated, I would recommend joining a local support group (or possibly start a social/support group for single women, for example). You’ll get to meet new people and you’ll move away from your current life into new territory, new experiences. It always helps us to grow, it gives us a chance to spread our wings and shine. 🙂
    Keeping busy also helps us to not feel so lonely and alone.

    #201665

    I am sorry to hear that Kitty. It is never good to feel alone and insecure, although most of us visit there from time to time. In earlier days I moved from job to job quite a bit as I was never one to be dominated by a job or the situation there. I always remember my grandmother saying you will find something. It was not a case of their being more jobs about as there were not. Can you start on a new career path? I went back to college as a mature student. It was strange at first being mainly with school leavers but I loved every minute and never regretted it. Socially it was good too!

    Being or feeling alone is another matter. That was, if I am honest, the main reason I started drawing lessons. Is it possible you could find similar with your poetry? Is there a group that meets locally?

    #201672

    I guess you kinda answered the question by yourself. Everything you mentioned can help you with you feelings, we all sometimes feel lonely or feel like we lack something in our lives.

    If you feel lonely emotionally and want a life partner or simply a new friend, so perhaps start looking for one; perhaps a hobby that involves socializing with other people. just like SpinningJen mentioned – that way you can strike two birds with one stone. There’s also lots of phone apps that offer you all types of dating and such..

    Perhaps a change career wise? I believe its never really too late to try something new – we live only once, what’s there to lose?

    Perhaps you’re simply annoyed seeing the same things all the time, same landscapes, same people, same daily routine… so Yes, traveling can help alot

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Schala.
    • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  Schala.
    #201677

    Hello. Thank you for all your advice. I have thought about it and will take the following steps:

    1. Make sure I do NOT miss work
    2. Go on the bus once a fortnight to start with and then once a week
    3. Apply for an English Literature course
    4. Make sure I go to my social group at least twice a month
    5. Be open to days out
    6. Checking out a dating service

    I think these few steps will give me freedom and help me feel not so trapped.

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    #201682

    I’m so sorry Kitty, I hope you’re feeling at least a bit better and were able to go back to work.  I hope also you’re not at risk for getting into trouble, I felt almost like reading your first paragraph you’re giving a sense that you might be fired for not going in.  Please let us know everything’s going okay for you?  My thoughts will be with you today.

    I do know your feeling, I’ve been through that three times in my life, and each time I was only able to fix things by making big changes in my life.

    When I was in my early twenties and out of school living in Canada, I felt very trapped.  I was working minimum wage despite my degree, and I was living with my abusive and neglectful parents, and my life was miserable.  I felt like I had no prospects or opportunities for growth, either professionally or personally.  I was born in the US so I have dual citizenship, and I spoke to my aunt who lives in Georgia, and she helped me get a job at a bank down there as a teller, which was a big step up from what I was doing in Canada.  So I moved a thousand miles away from home to a different country, and all I had was my ten year-old car, a couple suitcases full of clothes, and about two hundred dollars.  I moved in with my grandmother for a year and a half, and I later had roommates and then my first ever very own place.

    After a few years, I felt stuck again in Georgia, lol.  I have a degree in accounting, and I was working as a bank teller, which was nice for a while but I was starting to feel stressed, and I kept getting passed over for promotion, and I felt really down about that.  I felt like I was going to be stuck there forever.  I met this guy and he moved in with me, and he wanted to move up north (he’s also Canadian) to be closer to home, and while I was really scared I managed to find a job over the phone at a call center with another bank in Michigan.  So he and I moved and found a place together, and he got a job at the same bank in a different department.  After a year I got a job in fraud, and then a year and a half later I got my current job, and I’ve been happy with my career ever since 🙂

    Well after living with that guy for almost eight years, things needed to change (I’ve posted about that at great length before, lol), and I was really depressed, and had to get him to leave.  It’s been about a year and a half since he’s been gone, and my emotional wellbeing has gotten so much better.

    I’ve been terrified out of my mind every time I’ve taken a risk, I’m really not a risk-taker, but sometimes I feel you’ve just got to do something big and scary when your life’s not what you want it to be.

    I hope you’re able to find something to help you feel more satisfied 🙂

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    #201685

    You’ve lived a stressful life, Mamie. When I read your story, I was struck by how you always find solutions to problems and always try to fix your problems: that you did not your accept “your lot”. You moved on with the times and were willing to be single to leave a relationship for 8 years: to go it alone. You’ve got courage and I admire that.

    I take inspiration from your post: because you put your all into your life and never give up.

    I hope to say I have your courage one day.

    #201734

    Kitty, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way too. I share those fears of losing my job, while being a single mom, it worries me that I’ll suddenly have no income. Three years ago, I went into work one morning, feeling so productive and like I was finally getting my mind straight and life together. I lost my job that day and felt like I had failed my daughter, BIG TIME!  I was engaged to a wonderful man and I was so excited to be married again and have a soulmate in my life. One day about a year ago, he came home from work and told me that it was over. I sometimes feel like I’m destined for failure all the time, yet I look at my daughter and she brings me back from my mind wandering about my failures. I have a good job now and I’m getting back on my feet, both financially and emotionally. Like Daisy mentioned, our jobs are more than just a means of earning money! Stay strong y’all!

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    #201760

    Thank you, Julie73: I will.

    It is wonderful to be back on your feet. Our jobs are definitely more than a way to earn money.

    Thank you, again.

    #201845

    I have traveled to Philippines, thailand, singapore, korea and taiwan when married my ex husband who was a marine engineer. after divorcing him I have gone back to modeling, exotic dance and vip escorting. I get a very healthy alimony payment monthly but can’t just do personal stuff every day.

    travel is exciting as well varing your type of work activities to my feelings

    #201851

    Thank you for all your support and advice. I have been going to work and will definitely make sure I don’t miss my shifts.

    Sitting on the bus to work made me realise that travel is my goal. I want to see more of the world. I have already been to:

    1. Lanzarote
    2. Greece
    3. Spain
    4. Sweden
    5. Ireland
    6. Oxford, Devon & various places around Britain                                                                                                                                                                                                                            These may seem like a lot of places, but I still feel I am not doing enough with my time. I go to my office job, I clean my flat but I need more. I have explored the world of publishing and have a fair amount of my work in print, so it’s not as if I am laying about, watching television. I also do a lot of cooking. I suppose I just want to be more adventurous. There is a whole world to explore and I shall do so. I also shall explore dating. I would love to meet someone special. But that won’t happen if I’m in my flat every night watching TV. Common sense, really!
    #201871

    I’d love to know where you guys have travelled to! Which is your favourite country? Mine is Ireland. Ireland is my spiritual home. I also LOVED Sweden growing up: we’d go there every summer and just have so much fun. Special times. As for Ireland: I have been going there virtually every year since 2004. I can never get bored. My aunt lives there and she has a wonderful bungalow. We’ll go everywhere in the car and it is just magic. If you ever get the chance, go to Ireland and rent a car. Forget Dublin: you want to see rural life. I would definitely advise hiring a car: you won’t get anywhere if you don’t, due to the lack of bus system.

    Over to you!

    #201873

    I’ve only been to the United States and Canada, but I’ve covered a lot of territory!  I’ve been up and down the east coast here, and to several provinces.  My favorite place I’ve been to is the Rocky Mountains in Alberta, and I’m going back there for my honeymoon next month.

    I’d love to visit Ireland some day!  If I could go to only one new country, I’d totally choose Ireland.

    #201896

    I have been to most areas in the Uk except Northern Ireland, the far north of Scotland, far southwest and the Channel Islands. The only places I have been abroad were Majorca and Ireland. Not being one for spending days on the beach I wandered everywhere in Majorca, enjoying the change in scene and culture. There are lots of places I would like to visit. My favourite used to be the Amazon jungle but I don’t have a favourite now as there are lots of places to visit for different reasons.

    #201905

    You’d definitely love Ireland, Mamie!

    SpinningJen: I would LOVE to visit the Amazon jungle. I love jungles and the woods. When I was a kid, I would walk in the woods in Sweden. I really loved walking underneath the trees. It is like a different world. Nature is paradise. Such nostalgia.

    In fact, my dream is to go to Africa and see rural life and also the jungles. I have watched “Sheena” a lot of times and Africa is my dream destination.

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