Flat A Mess ATM! Lol

Female Forum Forums General Discussion General Chat Flat A Mess ATM! Lol

This topic contains 20 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  cassandra 2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #205309

    I am having a good friend stay over for the weekend: so – not surprisingly – my flat is in a bit of a mess! Still, it is worth it to have great company. She is having a good time!

    I hope you all have a nice weekend!

    #205324

    Hope you have fun .

    Enjoy the time with your friend.

    #205327

    Have a lovely weekend Kitty x

     

    #205337

    It’s nice to spend some extended time with friends.  Enjoy yourself, Kitty!

    #205343

    I am glad to have my good friend over.  Vicky is staying until 1pm today when she is catching the bus. We have had a good time. We had lunch out on Saturday with my sister. We ate a Chinese takeaway last night. It has all been going on.

    All-in-all a good weekend.

    #205364

    That’s nice Kitty. Judging by recent posts you needed cheering up.

    #205387

    I did need cheering up! I often wonder if I am bi-polar, though: my moods are like a rollercoaster. It is unbelievable how emotional I am. Everything affects me and I hate it. I’d love to be a thick-skinned person, who is never bothered about what other people think. Alas, I am not like that.

    Are you emotional or more firm with your feelings/thoughts/actions? I must admit, I would like to be a hard person. Never upset, never wanting to cry.

    What about you guys?

    #205396

    Flat lovely again! The laundry on, the rubbish & recycling taken outside, the carpets hoovered and the windows open. I cleaned my bathroom and kitchen yesterday!

    It is nice to have a clean & tidy home.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by  KitKatKitty.
    2 users liked this post:
    #205409

    I don’t tend to get too extreme Kitty as I have had quite a bit of trauma over the years so am de-sensitised a bit. I am fairly emotional and do feel tearful at times. I think it is more often a feeling of sadness these days though as I see familiar situations.

    #205417

    I know where you’re coming from, SpinningJen. How do you deal with things when you’re very upset? Do you just lay low until you’re feeling better? Or do you confide in someone close? I tend to cry alone. I can be hurt quite easily sometimes. I tend to withdraw into myself when I am hurt. I do think if you’re deeply upset, then talking to a friend or relative would help you deal with the upset.

    Do you also wish you had a thicker skin? I often wish I did. I envy those who can be yelled at and hit and not even feel any hurt. Why aren’t I hard like that? I hate being soft. I definitely would rather be them than upset easily. Hard people have easier, happier lives, too. I am very green with envy.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 4 days ago by  KitKatKitty.
    #205435

    I think many people who seem to have a thicker skin really haven’t. I think they bottle things up even more so do suddenly explode and do something extreme. It’s interesting to see many politicians. They seemingly let remarks pass but I have notice how some seem to age very quickly when in office.

    Personaly I have difficulty confiding in someone close as my other half is the type of person to discuss little. I have been known to open out to almost strangers who I have met. I am a very open person, but am still careful with facts which could be useful to people intent on harm though. Sometimes I do cry alone, but I find walking things off works well.

    #205478

    I have found – if I show my cards – people do become intent on harm. You just can’t trust anyone: even loyal friends would have to confess whatever you told them, if they were forced. I realize that sounds awfully negative, but I don’t believe anyone can be trusted. Of course, I won’t bottle things up but there are some facts about me I shall never share.

    You’re right about how thicker skinned people can bottle things up and then lash out. Still, when you’re labelled “soft”, you feel you would like to be hard. The world respects hard people: whereas “soft” people are left to suffer. It is deeply unfair. People can be so cold.

    #205482

    I think I have just had to do things for myself for so long Ive forgotten how to let people in.

    Its not hard or uncaring its just easier this way, if I expect nothing from others Im really happy if or when they do something for me. But Im quite happy to be alone, do it alone, and manage alone.

    I have my OH for now but he is sick and we have no outside help except his case manager. We could ask but I dont feel theres any point, outsiders just come with sweet words no feeling and dont do things your way. I know how the system works I was a carer for 17 years.

    I intend to be a grumpy old woman enjoying my dogs and my books. I dont need company when  buy a pair of shoes or someone else to laugh at a film with me Im happy to do it alone..

    Sometimes its just the way things are Ive never made long lasting friendships, we moved around then moved country and as for the future , well who knows but I dont have the time to pander to other peoples needs right now,  OH and the dogs come first.

     

     

    #205492

    I’ve been lonely pretty much all of my life.  I am an only child…and an Army brat to boot.  I didn’t have a shared childhood experience with anyone.  Friendships came easy, but were superficial at best.  Why pour out your soul when either you or they were leaving in the next year or two?  That is how I lived for the first 21 years of my life.  Since then, I’ve settled here in CO, bought a home, married and remarried; but the ability to find true connections still eludes me.

    I’m a “daddy’s girl,” in that I connect better with men than women.  My best friends growing up were boys, and my best friend now is a man as well.  We don’t see much of each other.  The last time I actually saw him was when I attended his wedding 2.5 years ago.  We chat on the phone every once in a while to catch up on our lives.

    I just recently made an observation that is kind of interesting (or disturbing, depending on how you look at it).  Until a couple of days ago, I never really thought about how hard it is for women to network in male-dominated industries.  The impetus for this train of thought was the unfolding of events after the recent departure of a senior male colleague:

    I am the only woman on our team of what was six people.  Now, we are three.  Our company has monthly breakfast meetings at various restaurants with our boss.  Due to this senior member’s departure, it’s now up to me to send out the meeting invitations.  Also, due to the timing of his departure, he was still invited to one last meeting.  I sent the meeting request to his personal email address, but never received a reply.  I was told by one of the remaining team members that he was coming.  A former team member told me that they had lunch plans which had to be canceled because of the weather and that the recently departed member was also attending the company Christmas party.  (I don’t plan those.)  I then started thinking back to all the other jobs where people have come and gone and still managed to stay in touch, but they had no interest in keeping in touch with me.  My current best friend is the one exception in that we became coworkers back in 2002.

    I wonder if other women have had similar experiences.

    #205498

    The world respects hard people: whereas “soft” people are left to suffer. It is deeply unfair. People can be so cold.

    I might temper that a little Kitty although what you say is generally true. I would say the world respects confident people rather than hard ones. The hard ones take them in and can receive even harder reactions when the bubble bursts.

    I also agree about carers Cassandra. With my mum, who has carers going in three times a day, one or two are caring. They are all pushed for time as the system is run as a business and not a care service. This means even the best are pushed. I know it is the same all over as, when I was working in the community, it was not unusual to visit elderly people who really enjoyed my (our) visits which in no small part was due to the nature of our inter-action often requiring a long visit (an hour or more). I will admit that, being chatty and seeing myself as part of the care system, I seldom stressed time limitations and did stretch things at times. They sometimes said that they were not happy when community nurses just came in and out within minutes and looked forward to us coming. Very few took advantage though.

     

     

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