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How do I Find Local Friends?

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  • #228939

    Hello Everyone,

    I’m CurlyCutie and I haven’t been on this forum in two years and seven months! So much has changed in the time I was last here. I grew up a lot more, I learned a lot, I gained so much more confidence, and so much more. What brings me back to this forum is that I was wanting to start making more female friendships, but Facebook does not seem to have many friendship groups for women. So I decided to look up online forums for women, and this website was one I remembered but had neglected. So hopefully this time around, I will be sticking around. I will still be looking for local friends on other platforms, but having this community to be with would be nice too.

    So, my question is, when looking for local friends, what apps or websites would you use to look for them? Anything in particular? I would not be super picky with people of different beliefs or age ranges either, so I think that opens up my options a bit.

    #228961

    Welcome back, Curly!

    I’ve perused Meetup before, but I’ve never participated in any of the Meetups in town.  There are lots of Meetups here in Colorado Springs.  Your mileage may vary when searching in a smaller town or larger city.  The pandemic might have put a damper on the number and frequency of Meetups near you as well.  Maybe, you can find one that coincides with your interests.

    Just now, a search for “Cooking” in Colorado Springs brought up a bunch of virtual events.  Maybe, attending a virtual event might tide you over until you (and others) feel more comfortable meeting IRL?

    https://www.meetup.com

    #228963

    Hi there and welcome back.. Im also a recent returnee !

    Sometimes its easier to meet local people if you join a special interest group.. Theres an app here called doggy dating and its not as rude as it might sound its just for dog owners to meet up for walks with dogs that way ladies who might otherwise feel a bit timid about walking in woodland alone can find a buddy to walk with.

    We also have a group that is for people 50+ who want someone to go to the cinema or dinner with but dont want romance..That is popular with a few widowed ladies I know.

    So if you have an interest photography , art , cats , anything  really maybe a like minded group might be the place to start it helps to break the ice with new people and then once youre in you can see who you click with…

     

    #228971

    Hi Curly, welcome back from me too!

    My approach has been more with interests such as artwork and sewing. I have got to know people through this and this has opened up more general friendships, similar to Cassandra’s reccomendations. I tend to be so shy in a new group that I need the special interest to break the ice as I often freeze in a purely social context.

    #229108

    I tend to use my local church as a way to make new friendships. It can be hit and miss, though, since some churches work more like social clubs and it seems hard to break into the already-formed smaller groups. I’d prefer it if everyone in a church worked hard to be welcoming to newcomers and also kept an eye out for people who haven’t yet been included in a smaller group – that is, someone needing a good group of friends!

    One thing I’ve done lately is focus on being a good friend. If I keep thinking along the lines of “Woe is me, I have so few friends who really remember and check up on me,” I’m focused on me and that’s not satisfying. If I turn my perspective around and start looking for someone who needs me to be a good friend to them, I have less time for self-pity (which is so easy for me to get trapped in) and I find myself more satisfied with life when I’m others-focused.

    I hope you’ll find friends locally, Curly. We’re always here for the online-friends bit! 🙂

    #229140

    Welcome back!

    I’m afraid I have no advice: because the ladies on here have already given the best advice possible. Just follow their tips and see where you go! You have every chance of making good friends.

    I look forward to reading your posts!

    #229524

    A few tips to making – and keeping – local friends:

    1. Just talk to people and be friendly wherever you go!
    2. Make small talk with strangers
    3. Be friendly and fun
    4. Don’t tie anyone down or be obsessive about others
    5. Be yourself: but your best self
    6. Stick to plans and don’t cancel [unless it’s an urgent situation you’re facing that you can’t avoid]
    7. Don’t be too personal with anyone
    8. Listen to people more than talking to people
    9. Don’t dump your problems on friends you’ve made
    10. Treat your new friends like royalty
    11. Send snail mail: cards and letters you’ve designed on your computer or written by hand. Sending friendly and fun cards and letters through the post cheers up anyone and shows you’re thoughtful and caring.

    I hope I’ve helped!

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