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How do I learn to love my body?

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  • #200911

    I’ve struggled with self-acceptance and confidence my entire life. I’m conventionally attractive but extremely insecure about my body. I’m 19 years old and a college sophomore, and lately I’ve begun to post nudes on Reddit. I feel lonely because I’m afraid to socialize with people out of preemptive fear of rejection and the attention I receive on Reddit makes me feel really good. I even get a lot of comments like “you’re too attractive to be doing this.” And it does make me feel sexually empowered to a degree. However, I also have this fear of being called fat, which is weird, because I’m 5’8 and around 130 pounds. If something I post doesn’t get enough upvotes, I delete it. Today I posted a picture of myself in underwear and I was really upset because it didn’t get as many upvotes in as quick a time as I usually do, so I deleted it and told myself that it made me look fat. I also tend to compare myself to other women. I want to love myself but I can’t. I never have and I don’t know how to start and I don’t even feel like I’m worth it.


    This is a very common issue, especially in women your age. This is caused my the media trying to make you unhappy with youraelf so that you’ll buy their products. Posting photos and hoping that people will convince you that you’re beautiful doesn’t work, sweetie. I’d suggest you consider working with an expert to help you change the negative thought patterns. Your body isn’t the problem, the nasty voices in your head are, and they can be changed by working with a therapist or a life coach. There must be mental health services available at your school, like a counselor or support group for women. You can fix this!!! You’re not alone.

    Please reach out for help, you really do deserve to feel good about yourself, and life will be so much better!


    I agree with seeking help. It is nothing to be ashamed of and turn your life around. You have been looking at a downhill spiral.


    Well dear, I love my body. You have so many natural advantages over me that you should love yours too.


    Absolutely so many females – and boys and men – have body image issues. You aren’t alone in this. Including me. I can see your motivations for posting nudes and wanting compliments. In fact, by doing so, you may well have many admirers. But cindiaugustine is right with her post. I would second her post. There are body image groups everywhere and I also think you would benefit from going to one. They won’t pity you or make you feel worse: they’ll show you how to improve your perception of yourself and learn to accept your body and help you realize your beauty. You must know deep down that you’re an attractive woman. And you can feel good about yourself. You’re not alone with these feelings. And it is natural to feel insecure when you’re young. I also felt insecure years back.

    Anyhow, I second cindiaugustine’s post. Take care, lovely.


    First and foremost, thank you for sharing and being so real about your concerns. I am 21 years old and I am a junior in college so I can relate to you in that aspect. Before I go on, if you would like any additional help or need someone to talk to on a more personal level, please message me so that we can get in contact as this is an issue I see every single day.

    My best friend has similar thoughts. She is very judgmental of her own body and needs to post pictures to feel the attention to make her feel like her body is appreciated. But lets get real here…

    Comparing yourself to the women of todays society is wrong. For many reason. Sadly, half the girls are fake. They have fake boobs, a fake butt, a fake face. Now i am NOT shaming them in any way, they can do whatever they please, but keep in mind more often than not, they do those things because they are unhappy with themselves too.

    To be honest, a real man likes a natural woman. It is MORE attractive when a female is confident in her natural self and shows that she loves herself for who she is. Which is how we all should be. For being your age and height, your weight sounds fantastic and I am sure you have a killer body! If you are unhappy with the look of your body , you can always workout and eat healthier and maybe track that journey through social media. But the key here, is to be HEALTHY. Not to appeal to others.

    This is your body, you should respect and love it in many ways, after all, only YOU have the body you do and nobody else has the same look.

    I think the reason you post nudes, may be to gain attention, therefore, you are seeking the love and appreciation from OTHERs instead of being happy with yourself.

    There are many natural ways to change what you do not like, but beauty and happiness comes WITHIN. I think you could benefit from practicing loving yourself in different ways. Every day when you go to the mirror compliment yourself on something you DO like about yourself. Do not hate on yourself in any way and try to eliminate those thoughts. Focus on what you do like and stick to that.

    It seems to me that you are only allowing others to dictate how you feel about yourself. That is not the right way to go about it. I have struggled with this myself, TRUST ME. Who are these people to you? You do not know them, they could just be creeps! I think spending more time to yourself, posting less, focusing on your inner health and beauty will help you more than going towards social media platforms to dictate how you feel.

    You are beautiful, and amazing, and you should not allow a number of likes and outreaches to make you feel less pretty.

    Please message me if you would like to talk more, as I have my own journey and my best friend was the same way.

    Take care girl, its a process that MANY people struggle with, take it one day at a time and sooner or later you will learn to love yourself and respect and appreciate your body.


    126-140 is normal for your height. As a professional nude model I can tell you that the last thing a viewer is interested in is your weight. if you are self conscious find a role model statistics and develop a diet plan and exercise routine that is tailored to her dimensions. Guys are most interested in your comments about your pose. The more sexually focused the more upvotes. I noticed a little fur down there jumps follow up. not sure of reddit language usage policy but ask followers to rate your assets to see what is best pose. I noticed posing with a normal looking average endowed guy helps tally . most viewers will shy away if you pose with super hunks because no opportunity for them to be get close to you


    I hope in time you can come to accept and love your body, BasqueNebraska. You’re not alone with your body image issues: I have had them myself. You’ve only got one body, so learn to love it. You could pamper yourself with beauty products, have professional photos taken to hang on your walls. You should celebrate your body and take care of your health. Be your own helper and supporter. Find ways to feel good about yourself: mentally, too. Maybe you’re good at writing or maybe you’re good at sports. I don’t know, but finding ways to feel good about your life and achievements is the way to go.

    I also second everyone’s advice. We’ve all had body image issues, so you are in good company.


    Remember: life is about learning and you’re still young. You will learn a lot about yourself and life as the years go by. You are not trapped in this time: you WILL learn to love your body and love yourself. We all have worth and sometimes liking ourselves is of the utmost importance: pleasing others always leads to failure. Because being what others want does not give ourselves what we want and need. YOU are the most important person in your life. When you’re on your deathbed, the only once you’ll answer to is god your maker. And maybe you were meant to be the person you are currently and person you will develop into.

    Take your time cherishing yourself and pampering yourself. Look out for yourself: don’t people please.


    It sounds that you really look good, even more than the average girl if you feel comfortable enough sharing  nude photos of yourself with strangers on the internet.

    I don’t buy this. I do think you know that you look fabulous. You’re just greedy and your ego wants more attention. more likes. You’re addicted to reddit and you value yourself incorrectly. You’re in some sort of competition in your own mind against other good looking girls like yourself.

    If it makes you feel worse then the way for you to feel better with yourself is to stop lurking in instagram, even for awhile, and take some time to re-evaluate yourself, your own body. Go out, flaunt your body, you’re young, you’re beautiful, enjoy it, don’t waste your time trying to look better than others, its stupid. it’s a never-ending battle, because there’ll always be someone who looks better than you. That’s the truth. Thing is, its not a contest, you are the one who turned it into one.

    I’m sure you’ll feel much better if you’ll take a time off from the internet, stop posting pics to feel better and simply be you.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Schala.

    Schala has made a few points I agree with. It is better to compare you with you: like not comparing yourself to other women on the Internet. Look good for your benefit, instead of being in competition with other girls. Flaunt your body because YOU are sexy: not because you are competing with others. Many people do believe all of life is a competition, but I don’t agree: you have to feel good about your looks for your sake, because you feel good on the inside. Being yourself is more sexy than anything else. Accept who you are.

    You KNOW you are gorgeous: so never doubt it!


    You are the only person you’ll ever have: so cherish yourself.


    How have I learnt to love my body? By learning to love myself.


    Plus, it isn’t what you look like: it is how you perceive what you look like. Look at Sophie Ellis-Bextor: unusual looking yet completely gorgeous. There is no perfect face and body: it is personality, how you dress. And – also – people who love themselves never put themsleves down. They never change to fit fashion to the point they’ve lost themselves.

    The only way to being beautiful is to be beautiful within your personality and to love how you are and accept who you are without competing with anyone.

    I hope these words help those who are unhappy with their looks.


    Every woman should celebrate her brains and looks! Because all are different and all are great.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 36 total)
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