How to best motivate your man??

Female Forum Forums Category Related Discussion Love & Relationships How to best motivate your man??

This topic contains 16 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 5 months, 4 weeks ago.

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    I love my guy, but I find him to be quite unmotivated even lazy at times. Any suggestions as to how to persuade your guy to do something? What has worked for some of you?

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    My ex once convinced me that he needed to have sex before helping me with chores.  He never fooled me again.  😀

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    It works to some extent, but with his things, threatening to tidy them up myself. That worked with the children too. Teens especially don’t like their private things sorting.


    Maybe he has depression? That can often make a person find it difficult to motivate themself. I know years back I struggled with feeling tired all the time and found is hard to do anything. Thankfully I never feel tired anymore, but that is an avenue to explore. Of course, there are genuinely lazy people in the world, but often it can come down to mental health or physical health.

    Something to consider.

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    A friend of mine got very annoyed that her OH never put his clothes in the laundry basket and she found herself running about picking up socks and trousers from the bedroom floor or from the chair where he had left them . So she decided to do something and told him she would only wash what was in the basket.

    He took no notice and continued to kick his trousers off in the bedroom and chuck his shirts over the chair, until he found that he had no clean shirt one sunday morning.. He was a preacher and had to stand in front of the congregation in a polo shirt and apologise to them and his wife for his bad manners.

    Sometimes only a practical lesson works.


    There are certainly some lazy men out there, cassandra! It would drive me up the wall. I am incredibly clean & tidy and HATE dirt and mess. I am always cleaning my apartment. The thought of being domestically lazy does not appeal to me. Of course, a man can be wonderful and still a domestic slob. But I would still rather have a boyfriend who liked things clean and tidy himself [and who was prepared to put some effort in].


    Yes sometimes it gets me down, always seeming to be chasing around picking things up and tidying. I think it better if the TV were never invented lol.


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    He’ll always be as he is, alas.


    I think my guy is a combination of lazy, anxious and a bit spoiled by his parents. He is so used to his parents support even as an adult that he doesn’t display much effort himself. I love him to pieces but I just worry that after losing his job 6 months ago (not his fault) he should have more motivation than he does to get out there again.

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    I was completely unable to motivate my ex boyfriend when he was living with me, but he had all the power in our relationship.  Only one thing I could get him to do was cut the grass, and only by saying I’ll do it myself and he was too embarrassed to have his girlfriend outside mowing I guess.

    My new way of thinking is he won’t do something and I’m not interested in just doing it myself, then I won’t do it and if it bothers me too much then I feel that’s a serious relationship red flag.

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    it’s really a lever as most men would be loathe to lose face as to be shown up by their partners Mamie. Their aura of control is more important than whatever their actual status is lol.

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    It is a shame many men [although not all] don’t attempt to do any cleaning. I can’t fathom why someone – male or female – would leave dirty crockery in the sink, piles of newspapers and magazines on the lounge floor and piles of rubbish bags everywhere. This is an extraggeration but dirt & mess is never acceptable and should not be accepted in any home. It really bugs me. But – again – there are a lot of men who do clean. But for those that don’t, I am glad to live by myself.


    repeat post


    I hate to see dirty crockery in the sink. I have a process where I wash and rinse the pots in the sink while it is filling, which saves on water and means the sink is never full of crockery getting in the way.


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    We’re of the same mind. I also hate clutter.

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