How to get to know someone deeply?

Female Forum Forums Category Related Discussion Love & Relationships How to get to know someone deeply?

This topic contains 11 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 8 months, 3 weeks ago.

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    Hi ladies,

    Me again, but your advice is always so useful! 🙂

    So I met this really handsome, nice and caring guy. We get along wonderfully. We often finish our sentences or have the same ideas. We only met for 5 dates, but it seems very promising.

    I know he opened up on some very personal issues, but I still have the impression he is not at ease to go more deeply into the conversation…

    Do have any “trick” question to get to know someone deeply?

    Thanks already for any input!


    P.S: As you see, I took your advice to heart and keep my busy life upright! 😉






    In my view there is not really any ‘trick’ question. There are possibly things that you could ask, but that approach would be very risky and could easily backfire resulting in another failed relationship. Beyond going on a cruise and being shipwrecked resulting in having to live closely together for a few weeks on a tiny desert island (one of my romantic dreams lol), the best thing is to take things steadily and learn about each other more naturally. Anything forced by either of you would possibly be upsetting to the other. It is only really in stressful situations caused externally that bring things out in a may that you both could handle.

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    Time is the only way to get to know someone deeply. Be honest about yourself with him, be affectionate, listen to him and be his best friend: not just his lover. Those things will draw you closer. But you need to be patient and know it’ll take time.

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    As Kitty said be honest and affectionate with him, the casual touch on the arm and holding hands in public will show him how you feel. Try and draw him out by chatting about your aims and desires as well this might get him talking to see if you are on the same wavelength.

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    i have not been able to get deep with a guy until we slept together. i guess once your intimate with a guy he lets his shields down and discusses his deepest feelings, problems and desires more freely. laying naked together and talking builds up appears to increase partners faith in you due to vulnerability. time is important also most guys need to get comfortable with you and your friends to build up a trusting and dependent relationship before spilling their guts to you knowing that you will maintain privacy between him and you.

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    I don’t know about that Bunny, some guys I slept with did play things close to their chest. I think a woman is vulnerable after making love and we seek reassurance from our lover, but some guys just say what you want to hear. I don’t include hubby in this and that is why we still love each other.


    <span style=”line-height: 1.5;”>mikki, </span>

    evidently our experiences are different. perhaps related to the level of expertise, intimacy or personalities of people involved. i can only base opinions on my personal experiences.  i never mean to speak for everyone in my responses to questions.


    That’s ok. we are all different in our outlook and experiences.


    We DO all have different outlooks and experience, mikki.

    I try not to speak for everyone in my responses either, bunny1984.

    I can understand the feelings of closeness and intimacy when naked with a person. There is such a strong connection with the person. Getting emotionally close is often important. I can certainly understand what you’re saying, bunny1984.

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    Thanks ladies for the useful input.

    So it got deep… And now I am the one who is starting to freak out. I am wondering for how long this happiness will last, for how long I am not getting too emotional, for how long to have him being interested… I don’t want to be fooled and I try to protect myself. I am trying to be distant and get my mind of it by keeping me busy, but he is (in my opinion) too often up in my thoughts.

    You might think I am crazy, but this relationship started out of a very special moment and I am not sure how far I can and want to go…


    P.S: just to say but he reminds me a lot of my ex, who was my big love (like 20 years ago)…


    From your post, Angelina, you need to be honest with yourself. Do what is right for YOU: don’t force yourself to feel what you’re not feeling. But don’t reject him out of fear. Again, be very honest with yourself and you’ll be able to be honest with him. I can’t say what you’re thinking myself, but YOU know. Be your own best friend here and don’t lie to yourself.

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