April 19, 2019 at 8:12 pm #200855
Hi all…so I’ve been dating this guy for about 1 year and 8 months. About 6 months ago i found out that he cheated on me and he initially lied about the relationship and said that he admits he was getting close to this girl but nothing happened but a few weeks ago he admitted that they were seeing each other for weeks..i got mad but decided to stay and work it out but i later went through his phone and found out that a few weeks into our relationship and till now he was pursuing other girls(about 15 girls)…and made efforts to meet up with a few of them but they just didn’t show up..we broke up for a few days but he came back to me begging and i went back because I’m lonely…we moved to a new town together (for studying purposes) and i have no friends or family around…I’m lonely and suicidal…..what do i do??😭😭April 20, 2019 at 11:58 am #200862April 20, 2019 at 4:48 pm #200864
I agree with Cassandra. I will also add that it is possible to feel very lonely even when you are with someone. Togetherness comes from trust and companionship. You will never be relaxed with him. Make it a project with yourself to meet new people and get to know them. If you are studying at college or university there will likely be clubs or other social functions where others will be looking for friends. Be friendly. You will steadily gain confidence and the experience will help you for life.April 21, 2019 at 12:48 am #200884
I agree with both Cassandra and Jen. You deserve better. Don’t waste any more time on this loser. Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee that you won’t be lonely. This is one reason I divorced my ex. I would have rather been alone and lonely.
If you are suicidal, I recommend that you call a help line or seek counseling immediately.April 21, 2019 at 7:58 pm #200898
I second TestDummyC’s post. You must talk to someone straight away. You’re caught in a difficult situation and aren’t to blame for not being able to cope. Telephone a helpline immediately. You’ll be glad you did. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you and deserve better in a man.
Make that call now.April 26, 2019 at 8:31 am #200950
I hope you feel better since you posted your initial message.
I agree with all the other ladies – you should not take him back. It’s a unbelievably hard thing to do, but you will be glad you did one year down the line, if not a few months or even weeks!
It’s hard to be alone in a new town, but there are some options: you can go to bar, church (or whatever holy places if you believe in God), an association, connect with other students, there are also website where people meet… There are tons of options, even if it is hard to see them when you are under the weather.
Also most importantly, seek for help – there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Take good care of yourselfMay 1, 2019 at 4:28 am #201037
sounds like he is into open relationships since he is still being close to you while messing around other foxes. you should be able to exercise same lifestyle and find a better match while continuing to be with him to feed your immediate craving. just be super serious about safe sex if he is dipping his pen in many wells. get out there and socialize before another fox wants you gone from his home.May 4, 2019 at 6:41 am #201058
Never be ashamed to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak or vulnerable: it makes you stronger.May 4, 2019 at 4:38 pm #201083
I’m pretty sure your campus must have support groups and social associations, as well as mental health services. Take advantage of all the help that’s out there. Seeking solutions and sharing your struggles makes you stronger. Suffering in silence is deadly. Reaching out here was a great first step. It shows courage and hope. You deserve to be happy.
May 5, 2019 at 6:41 pm #201102
- This reply was modified 11 months ago by cindiaugustine.
😘😘 thank you so much ladies for your advice…i definitely needed to hear a lot of what you guys said. And i have been actively trying to get help and meet new people. Doing so has come with a lot of surprises for me and i think people think I’m weird and awkward…how do you get past the initial first stage of awkwardness when you meet people? The other day i had someone tell me she feels like i give off a vibe of not wanting to be around people.. Also quick question- do we as ladies ever get past the stage of ignoring red flags and trying to make things work with immature guys,as we grow older do we get better at standing up for what we want?May 6, 2019 at 7:13 am #201112
Hi Nina, I am glad you are working on things. It is difficult at first. I went through that stage many times in different situations. I think a lot of it is down to confidence and experience. People are naturally attracted to someone who appears confident and know what they are doing. It reminds me of when I first started drawing classes. That was only about ten years ago so I was well older than teens. It took me a a long time before I felt relaxed with fellow students (months) as it was completely new to me. In comparison, when at work in my somewhat more technical job I was well qualified and spent some years doing it so when I went on training courses I tended to be relaxed and confident enough to help lesser skilled students. I made friends a lot easier. I too can sometimes be negative when wanting to be positive as I think in all directions at once, appearing pessimistic to some.May 18, 2019 at 6:52 pm #201306
I can also be negative when trying to be positive, cassandra. I second your advice: things do come down to confidence and experience. And I do hope nina123 has moved on with her life and has been successfully dealing with her life problems. I think everyone has problems with their life, so you’re not alone, nina123.
I hope to hear from you soon on here. How have things panned out for you? It would be easy for me to say you should just get rid, but emotions aren’t that easily dealt with. I hope your confidence has increased and you are in a better place now. Remember if you do feel suicidal again, then telephone a helpline. Because you’re NOT alone in your life: many will learn to value you. And you can look out for yourself again.