In a realtionship alone

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 11 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #193937

    sometimes I feel like I’m in a realtionship all on my own. I love my partner very much and always have done I’ve never looked at other men or wanted to be with someone as much as i do with him.

    He doesn’t seem interested anymore and we argue a lot which mainly is my fault I do cause a lot of arguments because I am a very jealous person. I’ve caught a few messages on his phone to someone who he used to be with before me but there never saying anything rude or inappropriate but I still get worked up over it.

     

    i have put on weight since I met him and I’m now massively trying to get rid of it. We are going on our first holiday soon and I’m really looking forward to it. But I’m not looking forward to lying round the pool with my weight knowing my partner will be looking at others.

    All of his ex girlfriends are really pretty and slim, and looking at me compared to those I don’t look like them I’m not even close there all so so pretty and I’m not as pretty as them.

    I just feel like I’m on my own and he doesn’t want to be with me or enjoy my company which is really sad because I love every minute I spend with him. I’m really down about it and do wish to sort everything out but I always feel like he’s just with me until someone better comes along.

    #193940

    I think you really need to develop your confidence. You may well leave him, and it sounds like a good idea, but until you develop confidence in yourself you will go from one poor relationship to another. Work out what you want and go there! Don’t get arrogant, just be nice and friendly but not trodden on. Be there as you, not an accessory! Confidence will make you less worried about jealousy. That is a dangerous emotion as it poisons relationships.

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    #193948

    this is what happens to chicks that let the bod go. men will say they dig babies for their personality but is obvious they want to hang on to something sexy and curvy. you are doing right thing by focusing on trimming out. in meantime keep him often busy and happy in bedroom and he won’t wander from you, hopefully.

    chalk it up to lessons learned.

    #193964

    Yes I agree keep him happy in the bedroom and they will not stray.

    #193978

    Goodness what advice we have. Are we still in the stone age? What happened to equality and women’s rights? Seriously. Jen has the right idea. If a guy doesn’t respect you exactly how you are then you don’t need him. However, you do need to stop with the jealousy thing. You either trust a man or you leave the man. You can not build a healthy relationship with someone you don’t trust or doesn’t respect you. You also have to respect yourself though. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Especially in such a shallow manner. Being skinny doesn’t make you a great person. Being a great person is a whole lot deeper than the layers of fat you might have on you (or don’t have on you). You’re not a sex slave, you’re a human being. Grow up and act like one. Stop being co-dependent, don’t be a pushover. Be assertive, not aggressive (there is a difference). And don’t listen to people who say you have to bend over just to get a healthy relationship, because that’s not healthy. A healthy sexual relationship will come after a healthy relationship is established, not before.

    Good luck!

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    #194011

    I agree 100% with AverageJane. Developing your confidence is key. I also agree that you either trust a man or there is little hope for a happy relationship. But I can understand your insecurity: because there are other women who are slimmer and maybe better looking. HOWEVER, you can also be attractive. You could learn to find the aspects of yourself that make you unique, and quirky even. Maybe you have cheekbones or fuller lips: whatever, learn to value your good points. And this includes your personality. Maybe you’re a witty person or you are clever with writing or even painting! Basically, you can’t be someone else and learning to love aspects of your personality and appearance is key. I do think your jealousy is down to insecurities about yourself. Once you realize your self worth, you’ll stop comparing yourself so much to other women and will realize your partner isn’t going to leave you and that there is no need for jealousy.

    This seems easy for me to say, but I have gone through similar battles and it is hard not being the most skinny person. But you’re not alone in this.

    I do hope I’ve helped.

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