March 29, 2018 at 9:37 pm #161530
I feel at times we introverts maybe are not lonely, we just have not found the right friends. I think because we tend to have a small select group of friends, this means we have hand picked quality friends over quantity. And at times it can feel lonesome. Maybe we are not looking for that big shaker of a party, or the ladies to wine and dine with all the time, but from time to time we think yes that may be nice and may be different from the quiet tidy lives we have specifically created.
I am a huge introvert and on average… I don’t like people in crowds. I am great 1 on 1. But in a crowd I can fee lonely because I won’t reach out and make small talk, or engage, I actually feel deep in my core that I want to run from any stranger who wants to attempt small talk with me. I much prefer to listen to others than talk with others. I think that is because I find group conversation extremely stressful and annoying, nobody lets anybody finish what they are saying, and it’s scattered and tough to follow for me. Not to mention I have the attention span of a flea, say what you have to say and get on with it.
Here online it’s far less stress and my angst is much less 🙂March 30, 2018 at 12:05 am #161580
I wouldn’t say I am an introvert or an extrovert. I would find myself somewhere in the neutral area. That being said I do find having a small amount of quality friends much better than that of a quantity of friends. I know I would not have made that same statement back in high school. I do like the small party get together’s with my close friends for the evening as we all seem to connect when it is that way.
As for online friends sure they are friends but I tend to lump them into a different category. You can still have just as deep of a conversation and connection with an online friend but there is just that one thing that is missing and that is this; the physical aspect of the connection.
To have both of these types of friends is great for any person in my opinion as a good combination can fill the void and hopefully keep a person from being lonely.March 30, 2018 at 6:51 am #161750
I have to say I’m similar to you, Mellow Yellow: I am neither an introvert or an extrovert. I fall neatly between those definitions. I wouldn’t go on stage BUT I do talk to everyone and know everyone’s name. I don’t share my emotions with anyone, but I am not cold or unfriendly. I have common sense.
I can feel lonely, but again, I don’t share my emotions, so do not get upset. As long as someone is polite and friendly, I am happy. I enjoy my own company, but still socialize often. It is about balance to me.April 2, 2018 at 4:51 am #163389
I’ve always been kind of a loner. I’m an only child, so I had no choice but to entertain myself. Growing up, I’d always thought that the popular girls had it going on. Like Mel, I don’t like crowds, whether in general or in social situations.
A few years ago, I found myself “thrust into the limelight,” for lack of a better term. I found out just how stressful being popular really is. Sometimes, I would feel panicked when obligated to greet or welcome people at a party, or having to be friendly when not in a great mood.
Now I enjoy being a wallflower again.April 2, 2018 at 2:30 pm #163524
I have to say I have always been the extrovert. Since I was a little kid I always seemed to be included in games or the one to start them at the playground. Even back then kids seemed to be fascinated by my hair color being different than most of the other kids and wanted me included or wanted to join in. As I became a teen/college parties were also very easy for me to attend and dance and get rowdy and loud. Now I suppose I have calmed down a bit but my close friends still see me a the feisty red head who can make an entrance at a party with her crazy loud laugh.June 18, 2018 at 9:30 pm #193970
I must admit I often feel alone in a group all the more I do not see people’s face and reaction. My favourite meetings are with maximum 2 or 3 people.
At primary school I was often alone in the playground, not sharing kids’ games, too difficult or dangerous for me. But when someone enjoyed singing, she came to me and we formed a duet !
When Mum and myself travelled with a group, we had a tendency to be aside, not in the group, slightly outside.
Though I like to meet groups, to hear people’s voices, and to discuss whenever possible.
I’d like to be a support to someone who, like me, is now alone at home.
Lots of love !June 24, 2018 at 6:46 pm #194138
There is an app called Nextdoor and its a forum about your local community! Many people post about suggestions and what not, but also about other adults, females, and moms who often have groups and hang outs going on! Maybe you can connect with local people that way and make some awesome friends!June 25, 2018 at 6:20 pm #194482
My mobile phone does not have apps, sorry ! But it’s a good idea to allow neighbours to make friends with each other.July 4, 2018 at 10:31 am #194767
Good morning Magnolia
thank you for sharing about loneliness.
this is a big topic in our society today.
so many people around us and yet we feel alone.
i work with a lot of people and this is recurring topic.
it is interesting to read that some people prefer the connections online to real life ones.
we are social beings and yes the online platforms fulfill an aspect of it, thankfully.
However I do believe that human contact through direct communication, witnessing and reflecting hold a unique nourishment we cannot replicate elsewhere. Especially friendships. The hugs, the laughs, the moments of share silence and so much more.
What I realise is that my relationships in life match my relationship with me. And so to change what I experience out there, I can look at what’s happening in me.
I hope this helps.
loving kindnessJuly 12, 2018 at 8:24 pm #195012
Thanks Lovingkindness for this beautiful message.
I also think it’s important to have real human Relationship, fellowship, friendship.
I love websites leading to real Relationship, for example those organizing activities, outings, meetings about books, music, other arts. And meetings with those sharing my faith (very important).
Lots of love to you !
Blessings to you as well !July 13, 2018 at 12:30 pm #195022
This sounds a little religious, but I am never alone: I have God.
I truly know in my heart that there is a god. It’s a belief that has never left me. And it isn’t just from believing what the church says: it is a deep, inner knowledge.
Anyhow, reading people’s stances on their confidence levels is very interesting. It is wonderful to have such a diverse group of people on here.July 13, 2018 at 3:12 pm #195031
As the song says, you’ll never walk alone !
Have a blessed week end all of you, and let us think and pray for each other. It makes us all feel the best.
Lots of love and kisses to all,
- Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!