October 11, 2018 at 5:25 pm #197007
My sons girlfriend ( Rachelle ) has been cheating with my friends (Tracy) son every other day for about 6 months now. My friend said she found out about it by walking in on them one day a while back. She We all live in the same neighborhood and she lives behind us. We go to the same gatherings and family events so were pretty close.
My son is 19 and my friends son is the same age. The girlfriend is 19. Shes still dating brandon (my son) but sleeps with my friends son often. Ive come to learn that she goes by my friends house right before coming over here to my son.
I asked my sister what she thought of it and she said that teen boys are very sensetive about their relationships and he might get angry at me for ” interfering ” or “butting in” or “sticking your nose”.
My sister askedcme how long has she been cheating and I told her ” for about 6 months”.
She said shes suprised that he hasnt figured out yet.
I feel wierd for not getting involved since I know exactly every time when they are doing it. (he still lives at home too) but I know my sister is probably right.
What do you other moms think??October 12, 2018 at 7:21 am #197018
I think it is one of those situations in which almost whatever you do you may lose. Your sister is right in what she says. The first question I would think about is whether he is actually cheating or is the dual relationship openly accepted between them? Is your son close to the other boy such that they may share? What type of girl is she? It’s a bit of a minefield, but talking to her would possibly be more productive than talking to any of the boys. Things like this can mess up friendships throughout, so it is best to keep things as open and friendly between you, your friend and your sister. Perhaps discuss between yourselves, but in the end they are young adults, not now children, so they do have to find their own way in the world.
1 member liked this post:October 12, 2018 at 7:46 am #197021
No the boys arent friends
Shes usually quiet
Its a monogamous relationship from my sons sideOctober 12, 2018 at 7:58 am #197023
I think your sister has hit the nail on the head..
but @spinningjen has a good idea you could casually mention to the girl that you and the other boy’s mum are good friends and you tell each other everything… Hint hint…
That way you dont have to accuse or get into a row..Plus you dont have to be the messenger to your son that his GF is cheating because you know what happens to the messenger !October 12, 2018 at 8:03 am #197026
I think she knows because when I go to see my friend she be over there sometimesOctober 13, 2018 at 8:34 pm #197043
Oh dear. This sounds cowardly, but I wouldn’t say anything. You’ve been given a terrible burden which you should not have been given. Your hands are tied, I’m afraid. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. I would stay quiet. Again, this seems cowardly, but I don’t see another option.October 14, 2018 at 5:09 pm #197074
best to not get involved. let your son find out on his own from his girlfriend or someone else. if you get in middle will cause friction and embarrassment with your son. still a good idea to let his girlfriend know you are wise to her ill behavior but let her know you are not going to be the whisele blower in any event.October 14, 2018 at 7:25 pm #197083
Well this post attracted my attention as my name is Rochelle and ironically my boyfriend’s name is Tracy! But understanding your concern clearly, I think it is best as others said to let your son’s girlfriend know that you are aware of what is going on. You clearly care for your son’s well being and emotions therefore, I think something should be said however, I would go to the girlfriend and not to your son. Possibly by sharing with her that you are aware may scare her into thinking you will tell your son and hopefully, she will handle the situation. Talking to your son may make him angry and think that you are trying to break them up and he may distance himself from you when that is not what you want. Talking to her would not only be a smart move to protect your son, but also would show respect on your part by giving her a chance to come clean but also as bunnyhabit19 said, show her that you are his mother and you will do what is right for your son. I am so sorry to hear that your son is being treated this way, and I wish the best for him in the situation!October 15, 2018 at 1:40 am #197085
I actually talked with Rachelle this Friday and told her that Ive been aware of whats going on and she paused then looked at me sheepishly at me and admitted it.October 15, 2018 at 1:49 am #197087
Basically she said ” No offense Ms. Rodder , but Brandon dosent show any aggressiveness as a gdoy…..”
“And he doesent really know how to “pump” during sex”
( I just closed my eyes , put my face in my palm and shook my head and said “oh lord” )
Keep in mind shes a teenage/adult and not fully conscious of what she says.October 15, 2018 at 3:51 am #197090
That was absurd of her! I would say at this point, if she does not admit to your son that she is cheating, then I would talk to your son. That is no reason to cheat on someone and if she cared for Brandon’s feelings at all, she would leave him.October 15, 2018 at 4:24 am #197092
Yeah I agreeOctober 17, 2018 at 12:44 pm #197133
She may well be a teenager/near adult and not aware of what she says, but that doesn’t give her the right to cheat on your son. Obviously, you realize this but what I am trying to say is that she is evidently a liar and won’t change. I know I said not to tell your son: I now think you should. He deserves better: much better. She sounds toxic and he’s best rid. Definitely tell your son.October 17, 2018 at 10:48 pm #197139
Geez the timing couldnt have been more worse. After I read your first advice the day you posted it I went with it.
My friends even started screwing with me about it too😑😑😑😑October 18, 2018 at 8:58 am #197145
I do apologize, DDsMomma. I just felt looking at your later post there was information which changed my advice. But you definitely are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Being put in an impossible situation must be really stressful: who wouldn’t be feeling stressed? You’ve been put in a situation which you should have never been put in.
I hope you find the answers and – again – I apologize for giving mixed messages.