Should Men be Allowed to Join Female Forum?

Female Forum Forums The Bulletin Board The Lab Should Men be Allowed to Join Female Forum?

This topic contains 34 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by  jimbms 9 years, 1 month ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 35 total)
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  • #16972

    Jo

    Thats a pity. I’d like men to be able to join. I honestly can’t understand women who feel uncomfortable with it. After all this forum can be read by anyone having a look on this site. It’s open to public anyway. I just can’t see the difference. Men who rather want to be women get operated, look like women and obviously are allowed to join subsequently, just because they look different. I still think it’s the attitude that counts. It’s common interest not only the name of the page. And if men are interested in stuff, which actually is not their cup of tea, because society has some uwritten rules, patterns etc. they live by… well.. to me it’s a pity.
    Can’t see that there would be a big quarrel about some men joining you can count with your fingers, not many would be even interested. But it’s good ppl are asked about that. At least there are enough ppl not wanting this. So it’s fine I guess.

    #16979

    Thanks for your contribution to the debate, Jo. As I mentioned, this isn’t a set-in-stone policy, and we may allow men to join at some stage in the future, when more of our members ask for this to happen.

    #16980

    Thats a pity. I’d like men to be able to join. I honestly can’t understand women who feel uncomfortable with it. After all this forum can be read by anyone having a look on this site. It’s open to public anyway. I just can’t see the difference. Men who rather want to be women get operated, look like women and obviously are allowed to join subsequently, just because they look different. I still think it’s the attitude that counts. It’s common interest not only the name of the page. And if men are interested in stuff, which actually is not their cup of tea, because society has some uwritten rules, patterns etc. they live by… well.. to me it’s a pity.
    Can’t see that there would be a big quarrel about some men joining you can count with your fingers, not many would be even interested. But it’s good ppl are asked about that. At least there are enough ppl not wanting this. So it’s fine I guess.

    Hi Jo

    I’m undecided to be honest. Its not that I don’t want men to join its more that I wouldn’t be as open in some of the forums as I have been. Its not that if a man looks like a woman he’d be able to join, because we can’t know if he does, that was a joke. Many of the members now could well be men and we can’t know they aren’t so that alone speaks for itself – please don’t think that I was being sexist in my previously posted comment, as I’m just finding it really hard to express my personal feelings on this properly. There are many topics on here and many of my own personal experiences that I would like to have a male perspective on and I think it would be extremely helpful to have a male perspective. What worries me though is as I’ve seen in so many other forums, something that is open to discussion like pornography or sex issues turns into a flame war of ridicule and/or argument and way above sexual innuendo. But I’m well aware also that its not only the males of the specie that incite this.

    I’m tempted to give a descriptive example here on one thread my daughter came across on breastfeeding and the comments that were made to this woman but I’ll leave it up to the imagination. Its enough to make me want to puke to be honest and if that’s what this forum became I wouldn’t be here.

    From that I think what I’m really wanting to express is that its not that I don’t want males to be able to join, it is that I don’t want to be on a forum that would allow that sort of behaviour – and that’s why I made the comments I did in my last post. If a male understands a little of the female perspective or is at least open to it, you’re not going to get ridiculed or foul remarks in a discussion about your breasts. The fact that the name of the forum is female makes me think that only men with open minds would be interested in joining anyway. But who knows – I really don’t.

    I just want also to make it clear that I’m not a man-hater with the outlook of head hunting males, I love men. I’m well aware that it could sound as though we’re categorizing all males. But what this is actually all about from my perspective is that another women, even if she were gay, is not going to make those kind of remarks to women who are discussing such things as problems with their breasts or breastfeeding etc. This is not to say that a lot of men wouldn’t do it either, but my point is THE REALITY IS A LOT WOULD and regularly do. I’d hate to see it happen here.

    Coming here is a lot like being able to go to your doctor and discuss openly with him/her your issues and problems. You don’t get sexual innuendo or open sexual remarks from your doctor. You feel comfortable discussing those ‘problems’ with your doctor even if he is male simply because you know he’s not going to make a sexual reference towards you. That’s the difference and I don’t know how else to put it. Martin is like the doctor on here, there is trust and he doesn’t go into those threads and make belittling remarks. There are many men who are just like him and I wouldn’t have a problem with other males like that joining.

    #16982

    Jo

    Heya ๐Ÿ˜€

    “If a male understands a little of the female perspective or is at least open to it, youโ€™re not going to get ridiculed or foul remarks in a discussion about your breasts. The fact that the name of the forum is female makes me think that only men with open minds would be interested in joining anyway. But who knows – I really donโ€™t.” – well thats what i mean.
    everybody can write comments, which are just not okay. women and men. if someone doesn’t behave, makes fun of others, is rude etc. okay. but you can’t simply know just because someone is a man he would behave in that way, he may aswell just make no comment, because he knows he has absolutely no clue about what is being talked about. that would be reasonable. you just had a bad experience there.
    well… i didn’t expect anyone to justify here, because it’s just common. i can’t expect any female forum to accept men, because as you say, you can’t really explain why you would feel uncomfortable aswell as i can’t understand it, because i just don’t feel like that. it’s an endless circle you see. and i also see that i can’t win right now ^^ there is simply a majority against this and this is not just in this forum. i also can’t see this happening in the future tbh. even if 2/3 say we want that, the remnant 1/3 will simply leave or be idle – counterproductive. if 1/2 says we don’t want that, the other half will stay…
    i don’t see any way to get there. you see. i just have to accept.
    i know, you did’t mean to be sexist and i actually wasn’t directly replying to you there^^ i just expressed that i feel like totally different about this.

    Rgds

    edit: damn…i’ve just spotted the quotation-button :S too late…

    #16988

    Heya ๐Ÿ˜€

    “If a male understands a little of the female perspective or is at least open to it, youโ€™re not going to get ridiculed or foul remarks in a discussion about your breasts. The fact that the name of the forum is female makes me think that only men with open minds would be interested in joining anyway. But who knows – I really donโ€™t.” – well thats what i mean.
    everybody can write comments, which are just not okay. women and men. if someone doesn’t behave, makes fun of others, is rude etc. okay. but you can’t simply know just because someone is a man he would behave in that way, he may aswell just make no comment, because he knows he has absolutely no clue about what is being talked about. that would be reasonable. you just had a bad experience there.

    Just trying something new with the quote function… hopefully I can separate the quotes ^^

    Yes exactly. I’m in total agreement with you. Its not just that one experience it is in most forums/and groups I’ve been in. But still my struggle comes from the fact that as you say, its not only men – I’ve been on many forums where females are just as flaming, make sexual innuendo and basically both sexes at times bring me to wondering where the human race is headed. So its not a male thing at all.

    I’m curious as to why Martin asked as in, have there been men asking to join or commenting on why they can’t join?

    well… i didn’t expect anyone to justify here, because it’s just common. i can’t expect any female forum to accept men, because as you say, you can’t really explain why you would feel uncomfortable aswell as i can’t understand it, because i just don’t feel like that. it’s an endless circle you see. and i also see that i can’t win right now ^^ there is simply a majority against this and this is not just in this forum. i also can’t see this happening in the future tbh. even if 2/3 say we want that, the remnant 1/3 will simply leave or be idle – counterproductive. if 1/2 says we don’t want that, the other half will stay…
    i don’t see any way to get there. you see. i just have to accept.
    i know, you did’t mean to be sexist and i actually wasn’t directly replying to you there^^ i just expressed that i feel like totally different about this.

    Rgds

    edit: damn…i’ve just spotted the quotation-button :S too late…

    And yes I agree with what you’re saying about majorities etc and that’s why I struggle with saying yes or no. And the forum itself will change of its own accord the more members we get, with or without male members. Hopefully the atmosphere in the forum itself will allow things to remain nice and open and friendly.

    I can’t see at this point that having male members would make any difference to the way things are. Its just more I guess, that my personal experience as you said, makes me worry that it will… And I guess that is a very judgmental way of looking at things and perhaps even a little discriminatory! :gulp:

    #17015

    Jo

    I can’t see at this point that having male members would make any difference to the way things are. Its just more I guess, that my personal experience as you said, makes me worry that it will… And I guess that is a very judgmental way of looking at things and perhaps even a little discriminatory! :gulp:

    Well I’ve seen a female forum that included men in the first place. It was okay and worked out, nice guys indeed. The more women joined the more women complained about this, but without any reason. There would be understanding if they would have behaved like berserks or sth. but they were really nice and interested. Tbh I had rather kicked out some women instead of the men.^^ I also can imagine men making trouble in such a forum, but can’t know before who will and who won’t.
    I have no bad experiences with that… but even if I had, I would have the other side in front of my eyes saying women are not different, just depends on the individual person. We all are no saints. And we still have mods having an eye on this.
    We’ll see, but i doubt that this will change.

    #17019

    Well Jo, thank you for your open discussion on this as its made me realise why I had such a huge internal struggle with it. There was a part of me that was being judgmental and its nice to have gotten that out.

    Its quite incredible how our underlying fears can turn our thoughts to being something very different to what we’d really like to be and represent. So thank you. You’ve certainly helped me release a huge internal battle that I was wanting to confront and understand. I now have freedom from it. So thank you!

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    #17054

    Jo

    Nevermind ๐Ÿ˜€
    I’m happy you gained something from this ๐Ÿ˜€

    #17156

    No men should not be allowed to join because then you get them trying to pick you up and have rude conversations with you. i join here because it’s women only.

    #17182

    As a compromise, there is now a section where men can post, entitled ‘A Woman’s View’. The idea is that men can join and ask questions when looking for a female perspective. I think this will add value to the Female Forum community, but help ease any fears some of you have about allowing men to become members and have full access to the community.

    Please note that men who join and post in this section will be unable to post in other sections of the site. In addition, when viewing the profile of any male member you will see further confirmation that they are male by checking the member group assigned to them.

    #17225

    Reading thru this thread Im glad of the conclusion Martin has chosen..I think it is the right one…access to a limited section:- ‘A Womans View…I have posted in there already..prob scared the poor chap but hey..

    However, On a few sites some men claim to be women by using false email/name/pics etc but its usually in the hope of getting round the ladies…BUT..knowing the members in Female Forum I think we are all far to clever to be fooled for too long eh??..And Im sure Martin would deal accordingly with any rogues promptly!!

    GIRL POWER!!!

    #17393

    I like the idea of a ‘male section’ that way we can still feel comfortable posting and we too have a place where we can ask things if we want a male perspective and vice versa. Thanks Martin. Good choice.

    #40491

    This is one of the more intelligent forums I’ve come across. I don’t mind actually, but in my experience it’s nicer to have conversations with females. Some guys share the same hobbies, interests but is rare to find them online. I agree with ‘kinkykatsaffi’ completely and that’s one of the reasons why you have to be cautious.

    #40524

    Like the movie title A Few Good Men, we do have a couple on here that are intelliegent and sincere, but for the most part I find most males that seem to post here start off with a fairly resonable question or observation and then when they don’t seem to like the response they turn on you, accusing of being bitchy or something related to PMSing.:lol:

    #40532

    There are a lot of nice men around but also a lot of sad and twisted individuals the magic of internet allows them all the same right of access ..Its up to us to filter the good guys from the bad.

    The best way is to report any post or any member who behaves in an inappropriate manner..

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 35 total)

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