June 9, 2020 at 10:25 am #212479
This is because she thinks I am posting too often and does not agree with my posts. She thinks I am being childish and silly with the posts I think are fun: not childish or silly. And has now threatened to shut down my account with Facebook.
I was more surprised than angry when she told me this. I can see her point. BUT I don’t want to get into an argument with her. Still, Facebook is designed to have “silly” and “childish” posts. OK, I’d understand if I were posting pictures of My Little Pony, but I’m obviously not!
What should I do? I don’t want to confront her very much, yet I still feel I am an adult and have every right to post whatever I want. How would you deal with a controlling sister? WITHOUT fighting her?June 9, 2020 at 3:34 pm #212499
How can your sister shut down your account? Surely only you have your password and therefore your right to shut down your account. just change your password make sure she can’t get in it’s up to you what you post you’re an adult if she doesn’t like it un-friend herJune 9, 2020 at 8:49 pm #212513
She can access my Facebook account because my phone contract is in her name [long story]. Anyhow, she shall help me keep posts private and show me more ins and outs of Facebook. The goal is to be able to post without exposing myself or making myself vulnerable. I don’t want every Tom, Dick and Harry getting hold of my email address and emailing me or accessing my Facebook page with the intent to cause harm.
I realize all this now. I was making myself vulnerable and I don’t want everyone knowing my business. At the same time, I still want to post online. Not just on Facebook but also on this site and others, whilst staying safe.
Thank you for your reply, cassandra. I am most certainly an adult and should never allow someone else to control or decide for me.June 9, 2020 at 9:26 pm #212514
Ok you sound a bit like my mum.. She sends every silly pass it along post via a PM but then asks private questions from her wall to mine so all my friends can see what shes written..It took her a while to understand that private questions should be in a PM..
Then she said she has all sorts of strange people commenting on her posts and she doesnt know them its because all her posts are public ..Its difficult for me to explain this to her when we only talk through skype.
But we all start somewhere and we all have to learn unless youre allowed to fly solo you never learn.June 13, 2020 at 8:13 am #212636
Mums can be like that!
Anyhow, I just make sure I don’t post loads and loads of pictures. I suppose being sensible is best. Anyhow, I have Pinterest to share and save photos and pictures on: I don’t need Facebook for that. Don’t get me wrong – I love Facebook – but people want to talk about their lives and loves and not just look at pretty/interesting pictures. Although Facebook is used for that, too. I guess I shall use Facebook for social interaction more now: rather than posting picture-after-picture.
Anyhow, treasure your mum: she sounds like a star!June 13, 2020 at 8:47 am #212642
I have a FB page just for my dogs, thats because I didnt want to bombard non dog people with thousands of doggy pictures.. The people who are Friends with Murphy and George are all dog lovers who dont minds seeing doggy photos day after day. In fact some people actually look forward to seeing their adventures. Maybe you could set up a seperate page for your pictures or craft tips..
That way you could have just specific friends who see your pictures or tips etc.June 13, 2020 at 10:30 am #212651
There are lots of different groups and specific things on Facebook. Often fairly well policed so that most posts are very sensible. There is a local user who has created her own page for her dog walking. I like that one as there are some lovely pictures.June 14, 2020 at 12:02 pm #212697
Thank you, SpinningJen: I agree Facebook is well policed, but my sister won’t be convinced. She believes they’ll gain contact to her Facebook page and she’d be targeted [this is a made-up senario]. Facebook is very secure, but my sister doesn’t want to believe it: it is very frustrating.
My solution is to un-friend her, so that if my account were hacked, she wouldn’t be affected. I can’t see any other solution. I did also tell her I could create my own subject-specific page and that way there’d be no hassle or embarrassment. But she said – again – that would be childish.
I think – again – my only option is to un-friend her and keep her safe. If she really thinks my posts are a danger to her, then why wouldn’t she accept this option? I really feel sometimes I’m talking to a brick wall with her.June 15, 2020 at 6:50 am #212732
I have never looked, but do places like the Open University do short community (and perhaps free) courses on computer security. It would be a very good idea so that the general community become more aware of the rudiments of safe online computer use.
One point that does confuse me is that your phone contract is in your sister’s name is a problem with Facebook? Is it because it is a smartphone and linked somehow? I was not aware a phonenumber was manditory, or has that changed.June 17, 2020 at 10:33 am #212796
I don’t know the technicalities of how my sister would shut down my Facebook account with access to my smartphone, either! I do know my sister sounds terribly mean, but she isn’t. I will just un-friend her, I think. That way she can’t complain about not being safe!
It is interesting, SpinningJen, that the Open University do courses on computer security: that sounds really interesting and important. I mean, yesterday I think I received a virus in an email – which I did not open because I knew it was a virus – and put the email in a “Dangerous Junk” folder I created. This means any virus links can be reported, if necessary. I keep all dangerous spam in this folder. It is forethought. Because I do realize there are scams and bogus emails. I even had one person try to trick me into giving them money: needless to say I blocked them and have never heard from them again [this was through an email]. The Internet is great: but it is also dangerous.
Anyhow, thank you SpinningJen. I will look into it. I assume it’s online? The Open University are good and I wouldn’t mind paying a small fee.June 18, 2020 at 6:56 am #212819
I wasn’t certain that they did them Kitty so looked anyway. I found this free one which may be of interest:July 1, 2020 at 10:50 am #213212
Thank you all for your advice. It has helped ne decide what to do.
My decision now is to just set up my own Facebook page, where my sister has no access. I think that is the best option. I shall keep my current facebook page, but will have a second one. It’ll have the content of fashion and makeup: that kind of thing. It will be fun, too, to have another page to do whatever I wish with.
Freedom.July 2, 2020 at 10:49 am #213247
And that is what I have just done. My sister has no access to my new beauty page. She cannot complain about being exposed or put at risk of people knowing her Facebook page.
I do think Facebook is designed to be public. If you don’t want to make some posts public, why bother using Facebook at all? It is meant to be a social platform. That is my argument with my sister. I don’t see why she bothers with Facebook. She doesn’t trust Facebook to be secure. In fact, Facebook is one of the most secure sites on the Internet.
Anyhow, it is done. I have a new page and there is no risk now to my sister.July 2, 2020 at 11:51 am #213250
Well I have two accounts and a page the first account is my own personal account and only people who I know in real life friends and family many of whom live abroad are allowed, this is a way for them to keep up with me and what’s going on in my life. I don’t want every Tom Dick and Harry searching through my private stuff.Then I have my page as a writer this is of course public and everybody can have a look and engage with the posts that I put there.
the second account is actually for my dogs because I realise not everybody wants to see thousands of dog pictures and doggy adventures.So I have a separate page for them and on their page( they have more friends than I do by the way ) there are people and groups who love dogs who are interested in dogs so they don’t mind seeing all these pictures.
I don’t think you need to make everything public if you don’t want to but you know you have to know how to separate and sort each segment of your life.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by cassandra.
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