STILL FIGHTING WITH HUSBAND

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This topic contains 28 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  annelee 2 years, 1 month ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 29 total)
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  • #10375

    Hi Ladies,

    Still fighting with my husband. Have not talked to him all week.
    This morning he told me we had something coming from UPS.
    We have a gate up at the front of our road and we keep it locked.
    So I told him I would walk up and unlock it. So I did. The package was
    already sitting up there. It was a real long box , which had his weed eater in it. I thought there is no way I can carry this thing. It is like
    a little less than a 1/4 of a mile. I tried to lift the thing up cause I thought I could at least try. No way. When I got back to the house I told him that it
    was to bulky and to heavy for me to carry that far. He naturally blew
    up at me and called me some pretty bad names. Names that are not allowed on this forum. We fought for a good 20 minutes. He said
    I’m getting rid of you I want a _____________ DIVORCE.
    It should not surprise me cause he has been like this for 45 years.
    Well have to go. He is back in the house. Thanks for listening.

    Flowers

    #65147

    Hi Ladies,

    Still fighting with my husband. Have not talked to him all week.
    This morning he told me we had something coming from UPS.
    We have a gate up at the front of our road and we keep it locked.
    So I told him I would walk up and unlock it. So I did. The package was
    already sitting up there. It was a real long box , which had his weed eater in it. I thought there is no way I can carry this thing. It is like
    a little less than a 1/4 of a mile. I tried to lift the thing up cause I thought I could at least try. No way. When I got back to the house I told him that it
    was to bulky and to heavy for me to carry that far. He naturally blew
    up at me and called me some pretty bad names. Names that are not allowed on this forum. We fought for a good 20 minutes. He said
    I’m getting rid of you I want a _____________ DIVORCE.
    It should not surprise me cause he has been like this for 45 years.
    Well have to go. He is back in the house. Thanks for listening.

    Flowers

    Hi there, I am sorry you have to deal with this but the power to make your life better and more dignified is in your hand. Please think about your future and your children’s future and take action before it’s too late.

    #65159

    Hi Ladies,

    Still fighting with my husband. Have not talked to him all week.
    This morning he told me we had something coming from UPS.
    We have a gate up at the front of our road and we keep it locked.
    So I told him I would walk up and unlock it. So I did. The package was
    already sitting up there. It was a real long box , which had his weed eater in it. I thought there is no way I can carry this thing. It is like
    a little less than a 1/4 of a mile. I tried to lift the thing up cause I thought I could at least try. No way. When I got back to the house I told him that it
    was to bulky and to heavy for me to carry that far. He naturally blew
    up at me and called me some pretty bad names. Names that are not allowed on this forum. We fought for a good 20 minutes. He said
    I’m getting rid of you I want a _____________ DIVORCE.
    It should not surprise me cause he has been like this for 45 years.
    Well have to go. He is back in the house. Thanks for listening.

    Flowers

    Take the divorce, it is a generous offer. 🙂

    I love that I divorced my ex.

    My life is so much better

    #65161

    Hi Flowers, He sounds very angry and that must be very hard to surround yourself with.

    What do you want for your life?

    #65177

    That sounds awful. I hope you make the right decision regarding your husband. I can’t say what you should do but make yourself top priority in any choice you make. Look out for yourself. It’s a hard life, but you’ve got friends, so don’t think you’re alone in this.

    #65187

    Thank you for your encouragement. We fought all day again. Didn’t talk for a while.Then after dinner he asked me if I wanted to talk and I thought OK. I’ll give it my best shot. Ya know I know I am not the only one in the world with problems. Some worst then what I am. I guess i need to think about others. Thank you so much for listening and being a friend.

    Flowers

    #65190

    Thank you for your encouragement. We fought all day again. Didn’t talk for a while.Then after dinner he asked me if I wanted to talk and I thought OK. I’ll give it my best shot. Ya know I know I am not the only one in the world with problems. Some worst then what I am. I guess i need to think about others. Thank you so much for listening and being a friend.

    Flowers

    Hi Flowers, please think of your children. If he can hit you, the children might be next. The fact that they have to see what happened between their parents is bad enough already, you definitely don’t want them to become the direct victims.

    #65195

    :red: Luckily we have no children. We have one son and he is 35 years old. As far as hitting me.
    he hasn’t and I told him if he ever did he would be dealing with jail and i would never bail him out.
    My son he is another guy I would like to forget about. Thank you for listening.

    Flowers

    #65196

    Have you thought about going to counseling?

    Flowers you deserve to be happy and to live the happiest version of your life.

    #65204

    I still think you should be off. You wouldn’t be lonely;y for long if that was your worry.

    Think about it………

    #65215

    Hi Flowers, I did not realize you have been married this long. If he is not physically abusive to you and if you don’t want to leave, the only thing I can think of is to detach yourself from him. Maybe you can find something you can do on your own like hanging out with friends, visiting family and when you are home, do something you enjoy doing like reading ….so that you don’t have to interact with him very much ….but I can’t see how this will make you happy either.

    #65287

    I agree with annelee: finding interests outside your marriage could be key to cooling down the emotional temperature with your husband. Sometimes you have to take stock and walk away from an argument. Definitely try to have productive discussions rather than heated arguments. And you have to listen to each other and find a compromise. Of course, in a lot of marriages the couple will fight with each other but that is just stressful and makes each side miserable. Who wants that? I think talking to each other is key.

    I do hope I’ve offered some useful help.

    #65550

    Hi again ladies,

    I have had computer problems and finally got it resolved. Things are pretty much the same. We had a talk a couple days ago and I really thought hings were going to change for the better. We were really getting along. he even hugged and kissed me. Yesterday I made him a cake for his birthday today. I was actually in a really good mood.
    The cake really looked like it was going to tun out great. I left the kitchen for a few minutes to go check on my wash in the dryer. The cake completely fell and it smelled like it was burning. It flopped and I was so
    disappointed cause I made the thing from scratch. He came out and said, it’s OK we all make mistakes. So I let it go. Today is his birthday.
    So when I got up gave him a big hug and a kiss. He did not seem to want me to kiss him.

    Late on he wanted to make breakfast. He was going to make his famous
    corn muffins. I heard this yelling in the kitchen and he said “Why The F’n didn’t you clean up your mess. I just stood there and cried .
    We talked about the cake. He said you think you would learn by
    now how to do it. He said maybe you should check yourself into a nursing home. Obviously your senile. It really hurt and he said to me
    What are you crying for now. You can’t take any criticism? I felt
    like saying you are always criticiszing me you A—. I didn’t I shut my mouth and went in the other room . He sid get in here I’m not cleaning
    up your dam mess. So I wwent in and started cleaning it uo. He said get out of here you don’t know what the F your doing.

    I think I need to leave . Just when I thought everything was going well.
    Thank you ladies again for listening.

    Flowers

    #65553

    Hi Flowers, I am really sorry to read your post. I think you have more power to make your life better than you think you do. Please allow me to propose some solutions:
    -tell him you have given up on him treating you in a respectful manner
    – tell your husband you want a separation for 6 months
    – after 6 months, you will decide if you still want to stay in this marriage
    – if he disagree, you will file a petition in court to make it official.

    The man is treating you this way because you allow him to and because he sees no threat that you will leave him so he should know you have that option.

    #65561

    Welcome back to the forum. I am glad you got your computer issue resolved and were able to come back for a visit.

    Sorry to hear the struggle still continues with you and your husband. I don’t really have any advice to offer because I have not gone through this situation personally, filing for a separation.

    But I would really think about what Annie is proposing and come up with some goals.

    It sounds like you are ready to make the change but you are scared? Annie did you go through a similar situation, how did you overcome these fears?

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 29 total)

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