STILL FIGHTING WITH HUSBAND

Female Forum Forums Getting Started Frequently Asked Questions STILL FIGHTING WITH HUSBAND

This topic contains 28 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  annelee 2 years, 1 month ago.

Viewing 14 posts - 16 through 29 (of 29 total)
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  • #65567

    Hi again ladies,

    …………………..

    I think I need to leave . Just when I thought everything was going well.
    Thank you ladies again for listening.

    Flowers

    You have got that right.

    Is this really the companion that you want to grow old with?

    Can you really picture yourselves together ‘in sickness and in health until death do you part?’

    #65570

    Evidently, talking isn’t enough and didn’t work long term. He is walking all over your feelings. He is critical and aggressive. I can’t make you leave your marriage [which is what I would do] because it is up to you to break away. Having your feelings hurt over and over again isn’t love. I think you need to do some soul searching. Listen to the Mariah Carey song “Hero”. Those lyrics speak volumes.

    #65576

    Welcome back to the forum. I am glad you got your computer issue resolved and were able to come back for a visit.

    Sorry to hear the struggle still continues with you and your husband. I don’t really have any advice to offer because I have not gone through this situation personally, filing for a separation.

    But I would really think about what Annie is proposing and come up with some goals.

    It sounds like you are ready to make the change but you are scared? Annie did you go through a similar situation, how did you overcome these fears?

    Hi Ladies, My situation was like this: My husband and I met in college. We were each other’s first relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend….we got married after three years of engagement because my parents did not allow us to get married until we had a job and could support ourselves. Married lasted about 15 years of so, our only son was a freshman in High School when the separation happened. My ex was never abusive to me in anyway, never even raised his voice in the house, great provider even though I could do the same. I was never deprived of anything but during this period of time, he had a little more time on his hands and everything I did start to look wrong ( another incident happened during this time but I would not bother you with that). I would be upset, little arguments here and there and I just could not handle the conflicts so I took my son and moved into our other house. Of course, because I had our son, he took the occupation of one of the bedrooms and spent almost every night at my place so that he could be near our son. We did not have any communication. I did my things, he did his then he filed for separation when our son got into High school and he also filed for divorce after that.

    I did not feel emotional that much except that I spent so much time in a marriage with someone who had little in common with me. My ex was very generous with me but did not do much with me. He never planned to do anything with me. If I wanted to travel, I did all the planning and told him we would go there at that time on that day and he would be available. He had 20 best friends so just about every month was a party for someone for some special occasion. Our house was built around and with his entertainment activities in mind. I saw no “Me” in any of that. It was always him and the boys ( including sons). I was gladly signed for the separation papers and also the divorce papers ( served to me on Christmas Eve while I had 50 guests in the house for the Christmas Eve party).

    I credited my attitude to the facts that I am an independent woman personally and financially. I have my own interests, friends and activities. I don’t depend on others for my happiness so Flowers, the only way that you can walk away with this is to be your own person and do not depend on your husband. He is taking advantage of you emotionally because he knows he can. The reason why he took care of you when you were in the hospital probably because he knew he could not find another who would allow him to treat her that way.

    #65583

    Just so ^^

    #65591

    How are you Flowers? Hope you are okay!

    #65596

    I am doing fine annelee,
    Thank you for asking. I just got done speaking with my sister-in-law and found out she has breast cancer. Pretty sad cause we are really close. she has the same problems with her husband. Only worst cause he drinks. She has her sister and a couple friends and of course me to talk to.
    I feel so bad, cause like I said were really close. We even got married in the same year.
    Any way than you for listening and caring.
    Love,
    Flowers

    #65597

    Hi Flowers, I think you now have a reason to stay away, being with your sister-in-law to support her. This is good for both you and her. I hope you guys live close to each other.

    I am also hoping you are not upset or offended by the advices I and the ladies here give you. I am sure, just like me, we all want to be honest. But the choice is yours and I can only hope you can release your frustration and sadness by having this outlet to express yourself.

    #65603

    Hi Flowers,

    Sorry to hear about your sister in law but it is nice to hear you are doing fine and have her to talk to.

    Relationships are hard. They are hard for everyone, you are not alone.

    Maybe it is time to seek counseling?

    I still also feel you may want to consider setting small goals for yourself. Set a place to go in your house when conflict happens turn the negative energy to something positive for yourself. Do you like writing or have a hobby.

    When we get knocked down it is hard to get back up.

    #65621

    Have not heard from you for a few days, Flowers. I hope everything is calm now and you have some peace.

    #65622

    I also hope you’re OK, flowers. Have you come to any decision? It can be hard to break away, but sometimes you have to be strong. Do post soon and tell us how you’re doing. You are definitely not alone.

    #65630

    Hi Lades,
    I am doing OK. We are both trying to make amends. He is taking me to Vegas in another 2 weeks and he keeps giving me money. He made me a beautiful breakfast this morning and he told me that he really loved me and that he was sorry for all he did. I’m hoping it will all work out. Right now I am just taking it a day at a time and that is all I can do. Thank you ladies for all your support cause without you I would not make it. I will let you know how things progress. Thank you again.

    Love,
    Flowers

    #65631

    Hi Lades,
    I am doing OK. We are both trying to make amends. He is taking me to Vegas in another 2 weeks and he keeps giving me money. He made me a beautiful breakfast this morning and he told me that he really loved me and that he was sorry for all he did. I’m hoping it will all work out. Right now I am just taking it a day at a time and that is all I can do. Thank you ladies for all your support cause without you I would not make it. I will let you know how things progress. Thank you again.

    Love,
    Flowers

    Good to hear, and now that you are in a good space, it is time to decide what is acceptable and what isn’t.

    ie if it all starts again do you walk, or hope?

    #65634

    Hi Lades,
    I am doing OK. We are both trying to make amends. He is taking me to Vegas in another 2 weeks and he keeps giving me money. He made me a beautiful breakfast this morning and he told me that he really loved me and that he was sorry for all he did. I’m hoping it will all work out. Right now I am just taking it a day at a time and that is all I can do. Thank you ladies for all your support cause without you I would not make it. I will let you know how things progress. Thank you again.

    Love,
    Flowers

    Flowers, I am glad you are enjoying the moments but Cherry is right, after the vacation, you should lay out all the possible scenarios and plan for each one.

    #65692

    Hi Lades,
    I am doing OK. We are both trying to make amends. He is taking me to Vegas in another 2 weeks and he keeps giving me money. He made me a beautiful breakfast this morning and he told me that he really loved me and that he was sorry for all he did. I’m hoping it will all work out. Right now I am just taking it a day at a time and that is all I can do. Thank you ladies for all your support cause without you I would not make it. I will let you know how things progress. Thank you again.

    Love,
    Flowers

    All is calm at home, Flowers? how does your SIL cope with her cancer?

Viewing 14 posts - 16 through 29 (of 29 total)

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