Q: Why do women have such small feet?
A: So they can stand closer to the oven.
Q: What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship?
A: Telling you his real name.
Q: What do you call a man with an opinion?
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge
Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don’t work.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.”
Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.
” Boy: “Really?”
Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”
A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The lifeguard said, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Beer and women!”
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911. Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up? Blonde: No, it’s working fine. Operator: Then what’s the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves!