What do men want? I'm confused. :(

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  selina7 9 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #147572

    Hi ladies,
    I am pretty new here and found this forum, because I needed to vent/talk to someone, but cannot do it with my “friends” (they won’t understand).

    Recently I started looking around on dating website, because I felt lonely and stress at work just got too much. It started as a little distraction from work, but turned into more, as I liked chatting with different men.

    So here the whole story:
    Two months ago, I met this guy online who was very nice and our messages were very intense. We had a great exchange. It was being mysterious and we seemed to have the same ideas! Then, he got more and more distanced. We hadn’t exchanged pictures yet.
All of a sudden, he asks for a picture and when I sent it, he just replied that there is no feeling!
    He just blantely rejected me after seeing my face! I can’t believe I fell for someone so artificial, so arrogant, so stupid! I felt really bad about myself and having spent so much time dreaming about this guy!! I got rejected because the guy didn’t find me attractive, but during weeks we had an intimate discussion! I barely understood and felt very disappointed!

    After a few days of “grief” about my stupidity, I met another man online. I wrote to this very nice gentleman who however lives far away. Unfortunately. We had a great connection in our messages and minds, liked the same things, but kind of ”broke up”. He is looking for someone else and so do I, as we want to meet the real person, not a fantasy. You know what I mean.

    What happened now is that the guy who rejected me the first time (the one I wrote about, who dumped me because he thought there was no connection because of my face) is chatting again.
In a kind of ”desperate” mood, I told him that I thought that there was a certain tension in our messages and that we are looking for the same things! It felt good to get that of my chest!
To my surprise he answered to my message, he agreed with me and offered to meet in person!
I am a bit hesitant (although I really want to meet him so badly) because he offered that I go to his house…
I know I should be careful, but it really attracts me to his place… The forbidden, some adrenalin!
    Stupid isn’t it?

    Sorry I am writing so much about all those stories, but it is nice to actually “talk” someone about it and get it off my mind! As I said I cannot tell anybody around me as I feel like a teenage girl!
    Maybe you have some advice on this tricky emotional situation of mine!

    Thanks for listening and wishing you a nice end of the year!

    • This topic was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Angelina.
    #147576

    Hi, Angelina. I am sorry to hear of this. But you’re not to blame: if a bloke doesn’t find you sexy, that is not blame you should lay at your feet. I am sure you’re a very attractive woman, and are definitely not Medusa. You just can’t please every man in the world. Yes, he’s attractive but he may just have different likes to you. It did seem you connected emotionally, but maybe his needs were very different: this does not reflect on you. There IS – and are – a man – and men – who will find you incredibly sexy. You just have to be yourself – as corny as that sounds – and keep looking. There’re a lot of people on this planet and all are different. Good luck and I do hope I’ve reassured you.

    3 users liked this post:
    #147577

    Angelina- Try meeting men face to face- the old fashioned way. Friends can be useful, church, school, lots of places to meet men. My own favorite is Home Depot- the tool section on a Saturday morning- draws men like flies to honey.

    1 member liked this post:
    #147871

    You have some good advice from above, but certainly do not meet at his home for your first meet. Always, somewhere public,and arrange for someone to call you 20 minutes later.

    5 users liked this post:
    #148033

    Hi Angelina, Welcome to the forums. Let us know what you decide to do!

    1 member liked this post:
    #148591

    Hi ladies,

    Here my update: so I did it!

    I met “Mr. Perfect”… It was a bit of an ackward situation and I behaved like a high school girl. He was looking even better than I imagined and I guess that made intimitated…

    Anyway after a few hours, we finally got more comfortable… (I think you guess what I mean).

    Unfortunately did our nerves play  us and it turned out to be a bit of a disaster… So I left him with this feeling of great connection, wanting the same, but just ending disatrious…

    He told me that we will improve in our relationship and that it is a question of knowing us better…

    Anyway: in the end his messages have been limited although I thought there was a certain connection… I haven’t heard from him since 3 days and I think that I am also not writing, because I am not sure if he is finally interested and I don’t want to look pushy…

    So I am back to square one with this guy… 🙁

    And don’t know what I should do (as I kind of fear being rejected again…)

    #148600

    It is a shame about the end of your date with Mr Perfect. I think he is probably right about you both getting to know each other better. Once you’re more comfortable in each other’s company, things will run smoothly. Many relationships have started on an awkward moment. It’s not the end of the world: and certainly there is potential in this date. I’d leave it a few days, then contact him and just take it slowly. But do also remember to be yourself: not put on a false act. He’s going to want to know YOU: not who you should be, if you see what I mean. Anyhow, do keep us updated.

    1 member liked this post:
    #149126

    Hi ladies,

    An update and a vent: so “Mr. Perfect” and I were chatting again. He said he was thinking of me, he even wished me good luck for a big presentation I had. All seemed perfect!

    We couldn’t meet for a second date yet, due to busy schedules. So, a few days ago, I told him that we could meet and that he should let me know…

    Bummer: well guess who hasn’t answered yet and switched off his messenger…?

    I really cannot understand!?! In a way, I should have expected this, as he did that to me already last time…, right?

    Is this always so complicated with men?? Seriously: I am thinking I am better off being by myself! It is so tiring and costs me energy and time, I (in the end) don’t want to invest in a guy, who cannot decide what he wants, nor get to know me better!!

    Thank you for reading (listening), I feel a bit better now! 🙂

    #149131

    Hi Angelina, I too have been doing some online dating but found it extremely frustrating. Most of the guys I was messaging were really only interested in talking about what I was wearing underneath my dress. In a funny sort of way this was nice but naughty. However the dating part never happens so I am now trying in the real world.

    #156918

    Hello ladies,

     

    Angelina i can understand what you are going through, dating in these times its to hard and online dating, it seems you have so many options but its even harder i think to find a decent guy, i guess we have to be patient and try to do other things that makes us happy.

     

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