February 18, 2018 at 11:02 pm #156920
I wanted to share what happened to me and what your thoughts are about one night stand. I am very conservative in my relationships and i have been single for 14 months, i was in a 5 year relationship and we broke up because i found out he was cheating on me.
So i have been on Tinder, been on 5 dates with 5 guys, they were ok but nothing special and i have been texting with other guys but most of them just want to have sex so i really didnt meet them. But last month i had this match and he was very attractive, i was really busy at work and with family that i didnt pay much attentiong to his texts but we had been textinng for a week, he was in the country for 3 weeks actually because he was on vacation, he insisted we should meet and my sister got sick one night so we agree to meet the last week he was in the country, we met, had dinner, i felt so comfortable with him, i liked him a lot and we talked for hours, at the end of the date he walked me to my car and he was very courteous, so i dont know why, i guess since i didnt know if i would see him again, i just give him a kiss and then he kiss me back and then he asked me if i would want to go to the hotel he was staying to “talk more” , i said yes even though i wasnt so sure, anyways we went back and you know what happened, I had never had a one night stand, I always thought guys think less of you if you do it on the first date, i had mixed feelings after it happened, but it was a great night.
Then since i work the next day he say we should meet again at night and we did, and the same thing, we had dinner and went back to his hotel, had a great time, talked a lot etc, then he said it was great to meet me and he will miss me, i said i would miss him too.
He left the next day and even texted me from the airport saying he was at the aiport and he had a great time, i told him to have a safe flight and i was happy i met him too.
But then he never texted again and i havent either because i really dont know if it was just a one-two night thing and i would look needy or crazy to text him because anyways we leave in different countries.
You think if i hadnt slept with him maybe things would have been different? Sorry to write so much!February 19, 2018 at 12:43 am #156921
Honestly I have experience in dating online, tinder, casual sex/one night stands…been there, done that when I was single for a few years. I had several one night stands and sex buddies (if you wanna call it that). Usually most guys will not text back or try to date you after you slept with them on the first date. You might see them one other time after that but usually it fades away. Sounds like it was a fling and should stay that way because he lives in another country anyway. Now don’t get me wrong there are some guys that will text and try to hang out after having sex too early, most of the time though you just become friends or it just becomes casual dating and goes nowhere.
Can’t read his mind, so can’t be 100% sure it was because you slept with him on the 1st date or not. I would say maybe text him to see how his trip back went and if he doesn’t respond, well you got your answer.
1 member liked this post:February 19, 2018 at 2:22 am #156923
I understand, i really think sometimes he was just looking for a fling because he always insisted on meeting and he was leaving anyway and he was very charming and i guess thats why i really liked him.
Thank you for your advise!
I really dont think i can do casual sex and will try no to sleep with other guy on the first date hahaha, i get too attached after it.
1 member liked this post:February 19, 2018 at 8:57 am #156967
I think this also fits into the ‘holiday romance’ catagory. It has happened to me as well when on holiday, even without the sex. You meet someone on holiday, have a wonderful time and plan to keep in touch, but it seldom keeps going. People get back to their home lives and, even with good intentions, thoughts soon move to the back of their minds. Both men and women. . You could send a single text, if you haven’t, letting him know how much you enjoyed his company, but if he does not reply well I would just take it for what it was – a fantastic time.February 19, 2018 at 10:43 am #156993
they can be enjoyable with the right mate, but bad for you reputation. they will surely tell friends you are easy to bed down onFebruary 19, 2018 at 11:18 am #157000
I agree with SpinningJen: your situation does fall into the “holiday romance” category. Just treasure those memories and move on. I think he is glad he met you and got to know you a little, and it is best left as a sweet memory.February 19, 2018 at 3:07 pm #157008
Thank you ladies, i havent thought about the holiday romance category, is so true. I think im just gonna cherish it like a wonderful time 🙂
1 member liked this post:February 24, 2018 at 6:13 am #157544
Everything comes down to the dynamic and the context.
It’s a bit like work colleagues after you leave a job. While you’re seeing them every day the chemistry is awesome, but then after you leave and have a few drinks catch-ups, it seems kinda awkward and forced.
The bottom line is that if you both enjoyed your time together and don’t have any negative/bitter feelings in the aftermath, it’s probably just worth appreciating it for what it was in your life and moving on.
Chances are, if you can accept that and actually do it in your mind, the memories will be all the more satisfying to access in the future.
February 26, 2018 at 2:37 am #157757
- This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Toni.
That makes sense, thank you!March 4, 2018 at 4:47 pm #158324
I agree with you, Toni: sometimes it is best to have fond memories and let bygones be bygones. If you string something out past its useby date, there is no point, as things just end up forced and awkward. I’d move on, personally.