Why is it so difficult…

Female Forum Forums Category Related Discussion Love & Relationships Why is it so difficult…

This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  KitKatKitty 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #198590

    Hi ladies,

    I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, but due to work schedules, we only can meet once a week in person (and text several days a week). But if we are together, we share really intense and wonderful moments. I always take with me lots of happiness!

    Recently I started feeling that I want more and that I very much care about him, because I like him… I always tell myself that we barely know each other and that true love cannot be like this…

    Why is it so difficult to love…? He also is very precautious with his words, but I feel this bonding happening and it hurts that we cannot be together…

    Am I just too distant and don’t want to be hurt again?

    Beause I know it’ll be over some day…

    #198620

    The logistics of seeing each other must be heartbreaking. Of course, you love him deeply and you are both in love. In your shoes, I would want to stay in the relationship and work my way around our meeting up. Although relationships should be more about being with each other than simply meeting up. If I may ask, what jobs is it each of you do? Could you navigate around your work shifts to see each other? You must have thought of that already, but it is worth looking into again further.

    From lack of a better term, long distance relationships are hard but they are entirely possible to maintain.

    1 member liked this post:
    #198628

    Oh dear, why do you know it’ll be over some day?  Do you feel you don’t have a future with this man?  You say he’s wonderful and when you’re together, your moments are really intense and you feel so incredibly happy.  Do you really feel you and he won’t be able to love each other for ever?  Like, do you and he have different goals for your futures?  Or do you really feel you might be artificially keeping him at a distance because of your fear?

    I don’t believe it’s how much time you spend together, but rather the quality of what time you do get to be with him.  Do you and he have good and deep talks?  Or do you mean he’s closed off with how you say he chooses his words carefully?

    My boyfriend is an emergency room nurse, he has to work long shifts (and he lives forty five minutes away), and sometimes when he has to work overtime I won’t see him for a week, and I know how painful separation can be.  I cherish all the time I do get to spend with him, and I can’t wait until he and I are married and he’ll come home to me every night.

    I agree with KitKatKitty, some people make long-distance relationships work where you don’t see your partner sometimes for months at a time.  Do you feel there’s any other way you can keep emotionally connected, like even by writing daily emails to each other?  Sometimes I think it’s just knowing he’s thinking about you can help at lot, it has for me at times.

    I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend, you do sound like you care for him very much.

    1 member liked this post:
    #198697

    we get what we want. seems you are not too invested in this relationship to allow this remoteness and lack of commitment to linger. confess your feelings for him. this will draw your relationship closer or to timely conclusion. tell he you are impassioned with need to bond with him every day.

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    #198820

    rabbithabit has hit the nail on the head.

    I hope your relationship remains strong: even long distance. But it is difficult and oftentimes heartbreaking. But love is never easy. You will be together again and in my heart of hearts I hope it works out for you both.

    #198926

    Long distance relationships are never easy. It takes a lot of commitment from both parties. I believe that communication is key and that you should definitely be vocal about how you feel about him and what it is you want from the relationship. This will give you closure about whether or not you both are on the same page and the next steps you will take.

    1 member liked this post:
    #198989

    Thank you all for the advice.

    We had a serious talk about our relationship and our feelings. It seems that we are both on the same page about how we feel for each other. However the few moments we can see each other in real life and all the external complications, are very hard to oversee… 🙁

    I am so afraid to open up my heart and right at that moment being hurt and heartbroken, because external/physical circumstances don’t allow it. Anyway it is about my feelings and I really enjoy sharing the few moments intensively with him.

    So for now, we’ll try harder on communicating and I try harder on letting him in…

    I should not give up on our good moments, just because I am afraid of what might/could/eventually will happen…

    Thanks again for all the advice!!

    3 users liked this post:
    #199351

    If you do both decide to move on, it will be hard. But maybe there’s someone else out there for you. Some people do believe that things happen for a reason: maybe this is the reason.

    However, it is still heartbreaking. Having an emotional bond with someone can never be forgotten, but there are more than one person out there for each of us: maybe several. You just don’t know. Cherish these special times and see where life leads you both: even if it is on different paths.

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