You Crave New Input, But You Shoot Me Down

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Rhonda333 7 months ago.

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  • #144837

    Going off my Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Wrong (https://www.femaleforum.com/forums/topic/why-do-i-feel-like-im-in-the-wrong/) post, the same friend in that post, asked me to join the school’s PTA – mainly because she felt she didn’t fit in and she didn’t fancy being there on her own, so we went together.  In the Summer term, they wanted new input for the summer fayre from the newbies ie me.  As I was the most recent newbie.  So I gave them a list of fund raising suggestions for the summer fayre and school in general and I got told that 50% had been done in the past and hadn’t worked and the other 50% weren’t what they had wanted.

    Then the final week of term, my daughter comes home in tears  (bare in mind it was her leavers assembly the following day!)  I posted in the FB PTA group to ask about these printed tops, and I got told abruptly that, that is what the kids are registered as when they first start the school.  Yes my daughter was registered as her birth name but for the past two years of school, she had been known as my married name.  They had printed all the shirts of her class with her birth name (which she came home in tears over!)  The next day I got a phone call from the chair of the PTA to tell me that all she could do was apologise and that she would have one re printed for my daughter but it wouldn’t get done and sent to the school until Sept.  I asked how long the school had, had the tops and she told me over a week, I asked surely you could of checked, considering it was my daughter who got upset in class and one of her peers brought it to the attention of the class teacher.  She kept saying it was an easy mistake to make.  I said yes that maybe the case, but not for a 9 year emotional girl to deal with!  Next thing I know the head teacher rang me to tell me all the previous babble of it had been a mistake etc and it was an easy fix, but he believed I didn’t want a new one done.  Told him it’s pointless as she will be at her new school in September.  I told him she wasn’t wearing it alongside her peers, and that she will go in the top I sent her in with (in order for her not to feel like crap!, she hadn’t slept all night and was worried!) he told me she can’t force her to do it, but she would stand out infront of her peers and that it’s not fair on the other school leavers over something so small.  I said small!?!?!  Look at it this way, I explained to him, yes her birth name is on the school electorate roll or whatever it’s called, but since she attended this school, she has always been known as (insert name!), what would of happened if she hadn’t been told about her birth name at all, how would we explain that, considering I fled Domestic Violence from her biological father hence why she’s known as mine and my husband’s name.  Something she doesn’t know the full extent of, just that she knows she has a different name.

    Then recently I missed the first meeting back after the October half term.  They were chatting about what they were going to do for over the Christmas for the kids treat,  then they said they wish they knew a santa.  So I suggested the local MP from the village, as to me, I thought it would look good from the MP’s end as in helping the local community and then good for the school, but to my suggestion on the group.  I got shot down straight away with No.  When I wrote back asking why not, as it was only a suggestion, I’ve had nothing back from anyone.

    Why bother asking for suggestions and wanting new people, if they don’t bother taking these suggestions on board.

    #145141

    You are right to be angry. They should have taken those suggestions on board. I don’t have any advice, unfortunately, but I hope things work out.

    #145201

    Well it turns out that come July 2018 when two of the PTA members will have to drop out as their kids will be finished at first school and come the September, there will only be me, the so called friend (from the other post!), a teacher and another lady (who’s got her head so far up everyone’s buttholes, started off as a dinner lady and now is a teaching assistant!)  My so called friend, is so busy with work, then I gotta sit in a room with people I cannot stand!  But I tried to leave in the summer but they didn’t want me too! Kept telling me to speak up and say something! But everytime I have tried, well it’s looked at bad and then I feel uncomfortable at the school, can’t win!

    #145510

    I am sorry to hear that. That sounds very frustrating. I’d ride the storm and see how things pan out. If you do find a solution, then do that. I hope things improve for you.

    #157781

    Since I last logged on, I have quit the PTA and they weren’t happy about it, or so they said, however, it’s funny how 2 days after I quit they had 4-6 new members…..More fool the newbies though!

    #157799

    It does sound like you are making a really big deal over a trivial item.  Wrong last name? Get over it.

    #157800

    It does sound like you are making a really big deal over a trivial item. Wrong last name? Get over it.

    With all due respect, I will not get over it! To cut a long story short, I fled domestic violence, what would of happened had I not been honest with my daughter about her biological heritage, it would of opened a huge can of worms for her and she’s already going through the puberty stage at the age of 9, emotions for her are all over!

    #157884

    Again I’m sorry. I too fled a domestic violence event in which I took a severe enough beating that it took a plastic surgeon to fix. I fled to Scotland finished University and reinvented myself.

    #157912

    You are right to be angry. They should have taken those suggestions on board. I don’t have any advice, unfortunately, but I hope things work out.

    I think I’m more angry at the fact they got the daughters name wrong, yes it’s her biological name but I hadn’t told her the full extent of her real heritage, considering I got abused by her biological father, I don’t think it’s right letting her know that at 9 year old!  It would of opened a huge can of worms.

    #157913

    I accept your apology Rhonda333 and I am sorry to hear of your experience and I’m glad you could re invent yourselves.  As adults we learn to cope with the good and bad in our own way, but when it comes to a child (an innocent child) who’s biological father has been out of her life since she was 10 months old (shes 10 in May 2018) and who never bothered with her full stop from birth to 10 months….It’s hard for her to ingest and for that, them making that mistake and not checking, it’s opening a huge can of worms!

    #157943

    Yes I can see that now.

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