Having you been dating the same person for a while and you have this nagging feeling in the back of your mind that it isn’t heading anywhere? If so, you are not alone. Many women have found themselves in similar situations and have had to ask themselves… is this a dead-end relationship? Unfortunately, many women avoid answering the question. Then, they end up staying in the relationship longer than they should. To help you determine if you are in a dead-end relationship that is not only wasting your time but also your emotional energy, know the following signs:
Are you in a dead-end relationship?
The respect factor
Without respect, a relationship is doomed. If you are dating someone who charges through your boundaries, who disrespects you through belittling, who expects you to always cater and mold your life to theirs, or someone who doesn’t value your affections and efforts, or who doesn’t do what he has said, you are being disrespected. While love may be there, without the respect the relationship can’t grow into something healthy.
The time factor
If your partner is giving his free time to things that have nothing to do with your relationship, the chances are high that his interest in the relationship has dwindled. People will commit their time to things that are important to them. If your partner’s free time is continually spent playing sports, hanging with his friends, or other distractions, it is a sign that he doesn’t deem the relationship worth the investment of his time and energy.
The compatibility factor
If you and the person you are dating are incompatible on the biggies in life, the chances are very high that you are in a dead-end relationship. Some mismatched goals can be worked around, others cannot. The biggies that will be hard to work around include views on children, marriage, religion, monogamy, and other life staples. For instance, if your partner has sworn in his heart of hearts to never to have children and you sincerely want to be a parent one day, the chances are high that you are spinning your wheels in a dead-end relationship.
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The bickering/fighting factor
If you and your partner are consistently bickering and fighting with each other, it could be a sign that the relationship has hit a wall. Of course, the source of the bickering and fighting is a consideration as it is normal for couples to disagree at times, but if having duels has become the norm and you are doing it over petty things, there’s a good chance that the relationship has deep issues that are not being addressed—such as boredom, lack of interest, and/or one or both of you simply want to be free.
How to avoid a dead-end relationship
It is very sad and disheartening to find yourself at the end of a relationship. Not only does it mean that time has passed when you could have been growing as an individual and out finding Mr. Right, but it also means that you weren’t able to disengage yourself from the relationship soon enough, for whatever reason. Here are some tips that can help you avoid this type of relationship in the future.
One month into dating someone: Ask yourself if you would be open to being in an exclusive relationship with this individual. If the answer is no, that you still want to see others, move on from this individual. If the answer is yes, continue dating him.
Three months into dating someone: Ask yourself if you are truly compatible with this person. Is he someone you could see yourself with exclusively and his goals seem to match yours? If so, keep dating him. If the answer is no, move on.
Six months into dating someone: Ask yourself if the relationship is meeting your needs and if continuing the relationship would make you happy. If the answer is yes, park the question, continue to date for another five or six months and ask yourself the question again. If the answer is no, move on.
You should know that it can take upwards of two years or more to really get to know a person inside and out and determine if they are a good fit for you as a life partner. By stopping and asking yourself the hard questions along the way you can bring a halt to dead-end relationships before you find yourself living in one indefinitely.