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    Hes a new dad , holding down a job that sound quite full on, obviously has medical issues and you think hes just fat and lazy?

    I see a guy who may be overwhelmed by the whole new dad thing, feeling left out, tired, possibly not feeling 100% but not able to voice his concerns. He obviously wanted time alone with you thats why he suggested the holiday (men do like to do things spur of the moment)

    Maybe you both need some time possibly you need to speak to a counsellor who can get to the bottom of the emotional problems youre having and his medical problems.

    Or ….you could just walk out the door and give up on him after all this time… but that isnt what commitment is about.


    Decide what you want and what you can bring to this relationship and they make some positive moves to get yourselves out of this problem. Talk to him calmly and nicely not through a cop or family member (they are the worst)


    I love “The Little Mermaid”.

    Disney is cool.

    Oh please no.. Now the songs are going round in my head…. under the sea, under the sea…. Arrrgg My daughter loved that film and at one point I knew the entire script.

    Mind you it was better than my sons choice of film,  Born free then I even knew when the lions roared !


    Congrats on becoming a nurse…

    Im ancient so my fav disney films are the classics. If you dont shed a tear when Dumbos mum sings baby mine or when Bambi looses his mum youre not human..

    As for music, I was around for the first wave of punk ,s ex pistols clash etc always seemed too angry for me to really get into  although I do like some tracks. I guess Im more reggae and soul  although I listen to most things.



    Congratulations.. I had all mine while I was young but I will say keeping fit makes for a much easier delivery and recovery.. It sounds as if you already know that and are doing everything right.


    Enjoy your pregnancy and your new role as mum. Which is the most important job in the world.

    1 member liked this post:

    I love being a girl because:

    I have a pussy and not a dick

    I have a sexy and head-turning body

    All the boys look at me when I walk down the street

    I can make my tits as big as I want (currently 32O bust size, expanded them again )

    I look a lot nicer when I’m naked

    I can wear very short skirts (my shortest is almost belt like, doesn’t cover my bum at all)

    Girls can wear makeup

    I can wear clothes that are too small, making myself even more sexy

    I hope you dont take this the wrong way but is that what you love about yourself or is it that you love the reaction of other people? Have you considered how you will cope as you age, if your entire self worth is built on the attention other people give your body..?

    Or will you end up like one of these ladies.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by  cassandra.
    1 member liked this post:

    I’m worried for you about how you view your body image .. you’ve mentioned you had your body changed to make yourself more attractive, and a lot of your posts (like above) seem to suggest you base a lot of your self worth on how boys react to you, and I just hope you feel healthy and happy with yourself without needing that kind of validation.

    Couldnt agree more..

    I guess I love my hiking shoes best.. or my wellingtons these both enable me to get out and see the countryside I love while keeping my feet dry and warm..

    2 users liked this post:

    I would respect everyone’s choice no matter what their beliefs are about themselves or the world, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. I will actually think its very brave of you doing such a thing in the first place. I would respect that alot, coming forward and doing something that most of the community probably wont accept.

    That said, I do have my own pov, and I would still consider you as a male because that’s how you have been brought into this world, even if you don’t feel or consider yourself as one. But, out of respect, I would call you a “she” if I met you and you asked me to in a polite way.

    I simply prefer sticking to the “scientific” terms of things. If science doesn’t agree, I wouldn’t as well.

    And btw, I believe this community in this forum is not like how its outside. Outside is much harsher so if you think you can use the forum to “prepare yourself” for what’s outside, this is very misleading.

    Actually I disagree with the outside world being harsher, armchair experts and keyboard warriors are cowards and use the safety of  distance that internet gives to bully people in a way they wouldnt dare in real life so often  people are much harsher in forums and online platforms than they are to your face..

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    Ive  done the trendy thing, the fashionable thing , Ive done the business look, Ive done the mummy thing, now I wear what suits my lifestyle. Im retired and enjoy walking in the country with my dogs, I rarely go out to dinner or anywhere else and I dont do social stuff  so I have 3 pairs of walking shoes, 2 pairs of rainboots,a real rain mac, and winter parka, loads of jeans and long sleeve tshirts but only one nice pair of shoes and 4 dresses.

    I have to admit clothes just dont motivate me anymore in fact they stifle me a lot of the time. I cant wear high necks or tight clothes or man made or woolen knitted fibres so there isnt much fun in going shopping for me.



    The argument you have is between you and your family member. Your other friends have no reason to ignore this person.

    Time for you to accept that you do not have the right to dictate who your friends do or dont speak to. Once we leave the playground we have to leave that sort of behaviour behind.

    You might not like it but its her choice..

    1 member liked this post:

    Thankyou  @kitkatkitty and @spinningjen  Im now accepting of my body the way it is but it was hard. I had to say goodbye to all my clothes soon after the treatment as I was forced to accept I would never fit into them again.


    One of the nicest things that ever happened was at the very worst time, I was huge (to my way of thinking) and I was walking around in my nightshirt, my husband suddenly asked me to walk down the room again,, I did it thinking he had noticed something wrong and then he stood up gave me a hug and said ‘oh my gosh you are just so damn sexy’.

    True or not the support was more than welcome.

    Plus as I say my BP sugar and cholesterol are absolutely great I hardly drink and I dont smoke , I dont binge on soda or fried foods and take away stuff I do like chocolate now and then. Its something I try to save for the weekend which keeps weekends special.

    When my children were small we had something called fat Saturday.  They never had any sweets or chocolate or fried foods  during the week so on Saturday the children had pocket money and were allowed to buy a small amount of sweets and they could choose what we ate for dinner. Thier choices were surprising including curry or pasta dishes, not at all what you might expect and on Saturday evening they each had a small bowl of crisps (potato chips) or nuts to eat while watching tv.

    They have carried these eating habits on into adult life and are all  healthy and of good weight although they all enjoy a takeaway or some chocolate at times but they learned to eat in moderation and thats the key.


    @spinningjen I think the point you make about frame of mind is so true , forest bathing is the newest hype so you are bound to see more people in the woods than normal but anything that puts you in a peaceful happy frame of mind is bound to help ,,, as long as its not eating stacks of fatty food!!!

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by  cassandra.
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    Mamie makes some good points in her post.

    I think people mistake being slim and being healthy.

    If you want to be slim just eat less.

    If you want to be healthy eat well , move more and make the right choices.

    I have an autoimmune disease called Graves its affected my thyriod and I had radiation treatment. Now I rely on medication to replace thryoid function. With the Graves and the treatment came weight gain. Ordinary diets wont help but by making good choices ( most of the time) and by walking a lot I have maintained my weight for the past 10 years. Its still more than I want it to be but when having a physical it turned out that my blood sugar levels , my BP and my cholesterol were all way better than normal for someone my age.

    So I might not be the perfect size 10 but on the inside my body is saying that Im making good choices.

    Being skinny is great but being healthy is much better in the long term.


    2 users liked this post:

    For those that do the devil’s work: I hope Satan betrays them.

    And those who work for the angels…?  Doris Day who did so much for animals while she was alive is rumoured to have left her estate to animal charities,

    • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by  cassandra.

    Enemies is a strong word.

    No I dont think I have enemies but Im sure there are a few people who dont like me.  Generally if someone is nasty or I dont like their attitude I just walk away and remove them from my conscious thoughts.

    Spending time thinking about or going over old arguments is a waste of my time so I just dont.

    However if Im confronted or if someone pushes then they had better be very careful.. I am ruthless and will do whatever it takes to remove a threat.

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    Sadly my weekend has not gone to plan. Ive developed a bladder infection.. (my first ever).

    A quick trip to the out of hours doctor and some antibiotics to bring home should see me well again in no time but it is quite painful..


    I have always wondered if I am flawed. I never understood the pop idol worship thing and even now I just see these people as people, nice entertainers , good singers etc but thats it.

    They are nothing more and nothing less than I am flesh and blood mortal beings..

    If I had to think of anyone I would like to be more like or learn from,  it would his holiness the dalai lama  he is so funny , gentle and yet very wise.

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