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    Weight was never mentioned or made an issue in our house. We had  healthy eating and fruit was a free food ie; the fruit bowl was always accessable and the children never needed to ask if they could have fruit. Cookies etc were limited to treat time. Saturdays were christened ‘fat Saturday’ the children could choose the menu (often they still wanted healthy options) and they had pocket money of which half they could spend of sweets (candy) and the other half was for a comic book or to spend or save as they wished. These were the only sweets they got all week and most times they were happy to have them while they watched a movie or childrens tv.

    I dont have womens magazines in my house I dont diet and until I got sick weight was never an issue.

    I was shocked when my nine year old daughter came home and said she was fat.. The girls at school had told her because she could not close he thumb and middle finger around her wrist this meant she was fat , actually she was very slim and petite.

    I tackeled her teacher about this who thought it was nothing to worry about and brushed it aside.

    Basically I  have taught my children that being clean and tidy is imprtant but what really counts is who you are on the inside. When they were being awful to each other I used to tell them   ‘go look at yourself in the mirror , take a good look and if you wouldnt want to be your own best friend then you need to change what youre doing because if you wouldnt want to be friends with yourself why would anyone else want to?

    • This reply was modified 4 days, 7 hours ago by  cassandra.

    @kitkatkitty I think your last posts highlights why although I have no religion Buddhism is the nearest thing to my beleif in that the answer lies witin ourself.  Instead of asking God to help us or thinking Satan is responsible for all the bad stuff,  the answer is in us.

    If we allow ourselves to be consumed by negativity and greed for things we will be unhappy. If we let go, treat others as we wish to be treated and try to be the best person we can be I think we gain an inner happiness.

    As for science yes it is gradualy unfolding more of the mysteries we previously saw as signs from God or supernatural, just think how early man reacted to eclipses or shooting stars , they were all omens  from the Gods… Nonsense of course and yet many of us still read our horoscoop, ?


    • This reply was modified 5 days ago by  cassandra.

    Firstly well done for managing a long distance relationship. Its not easy.

    My husband was away for nearly 6 years on and off, his father became ill and was told he only had months to live but lived for 5 years at which point it became obvious that his mother was also seriously ill. My husband worked and nursed his father until he died then helped get his mother sorted and get her the care she needed before returning home.

    Even though we had been together for ages by that point there were still times when he was distant or cold , I later found out these were the times when he really wanted to just come home but didnt dare admit it to anyone not even himself. He felt that by just not speaking and keeping his head in his work he would cope and he did, but it did sometimes lead to moments when I wondered if I should get on  plane to find out what was wrong.

    Trust is so important but you can help build that by setting time for each other. If yu cant text or phone/facetime/skype daily  try setting a time a couple of times a week that suit you both and when you will both have time to sit back and chat. Sometimes one quality conversation can mean more than daily or hourly texts or whatsapp  bursts of ‘love you’ ‘hows things’? kind of messages. I realised those messages put pressure on my OH especially the hows things ones, those were the ones that forced him to lie and say  things were ok when really he was struggeling.


    Dont give up. Take care.. Cass



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    No God for me in the sense of the all powerful creative being. No Satan either.

    That there is more between heaven and earth than we understand? undoubtedly. Mediums and such, no. Even though I know some family have had extrodinary readings. One told my mother she heard a man singing and mentioned a song my grandfather used to sing to my mother just to annoy her. An odd and unexpected thing because no one had given their name or any details before going in.

    But no there are just too many fakes.

    Having said that I lived in a house with a mind of its own. My husband and I would hear our names called from other rooms even though there was no one there The tv, lights, radio, etc would all go on and off  change channel or volume at will even after the elctrics were all renewed and when we tried to sell the house every time someone viewed huge damp patches would appear on walls that contained no pipework ! When we painted over one wall te word help appeared in the drying paint. Strange,  but even that does not convince me there is some other spirit world.

    I daresay there is more intelligent life in the universe but why would it waste its time with us? We are still savages in our infancy.



    You know I often think the only thing that makes life precious is the knowledge that one day it will be over.

    Just think , if you knew you would live forever what would be the incentive to get up and do anything? After all it would be there next week, next year, next century so why rush. Time would be irrelevent.

    What I do want is to get to the end of my life and be able to smile at myself and say ‘yep you did that’ rather than to look back and say ‘I wish I had done that’.

    These days I try to take advantages of anything that comes my way. I got a tattoo at 40, posed for nude photography (very arty) at 44 published my first book  about 5 years ago plus several other things that you dont get the chance of doing everyday so I didnt want to end up missing my chance to do them . No regrets is my motto.

    Time is the thing that helps us understand the preciousness of life. Dont fight it,  use it to your best advantage.


    • This reply was modified 1 week, 2 days ago by  cassandra.

    Being fluent in Dutch is impressive, cassandra. I wish I were fluent in French! Such a beautiful language. Next to Dutch, of course.

    Lol no way that Dutch is what could be called a pretty language. Its close to German (but dont let the Dutch hear you say that ) and its very gutteral and throaty. Friesan is a very countryside languge, its similar in shape to a thick Devon or Suffolk accent and its not pretty at all but works as a functional dialect and is read phonetically.

    One exception to this is the song Wer bisto by Twarres which I love


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    Hi Cassandra, does white vinegar really make your clothes and especially towels soft and their is no smell of vinegar on them?

    Hi yes it really does work and no there is no smell of vineger, as long as you use the natural white vineger not cleaning or malt types!


    She has moved on. Maybe she is worried or embarrassed by things she told you and wants to put distance between herself and the person who reminds her of that low point in her life.

    Count this as a passing friendship that was nice while it lasted and just move on .

    Life is short… Share it with people who make you happy.

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    We have got a tumble dryer it has been essential in getting all those different work clothes dry but we have alway had a very good make and always clean the filter after every use.  We never put it on at night or go out while its running.

    This past year we have made a very concerted effort not to use it unless absolutly necessary. I have just done my elcetricity reading for this year and there is a drop in my useage which means I should be getting a little money back from the utility company..I really think this is down to not using the dryer.

    As s side issue  I have now given up on fabric conditioners too. They make me itch and I found one that was ok but they changed it without notice and I ended up looking like a mange ridden monkey clawing at myself trying to stop the itching which despite showering every hour or two and applying special cream went on for 3 days. Then of course to add insult to injury I had to rewash all my clothes.

    I now use a little natural white vineger where the fabric softner used to go and my clothes are fresh and soft.. Plus no allergic reaction.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by  cassandra.
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    Meditation can help , so can mindfulness.

    Also putting things into perspective,  a fear of flying is common yet more people die in household accidents than in plane crashes so rationalise fears or doubts that will help.

    I dont like letting people into my life or into my personal business and yet I have to do this sometimes so I rationalise with myself. Can I solve this problem alone? No, then find an expert, Yes then get on with it.

    A pretty saying (“To turn away from love is ungratefulness, and to doubt sincerity, sin.”) but one loaded with self shaming if you let it.

    You have to be strong within yourself  to accept love and you often dont recognise sincerity at first glance. So dont use this saying to beat yourself up.

    Try to focus on achivements rather than defeats and hold one positive thought from each day.

    I dont have any religion but I love the senitiment of this

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.


    (old as I am I still hope to find that wisdom)


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    Numbers are my nemisis.I hate math, always have.

    What do I do ? I  have a need to write , Im always writing something, two books published a third stranded at 35000 words and several short stories in strorage plus an idea for a childrens book/set of stories , a blog 3, FB pages and several forums !

    I also love to take photos and to cook, I wouldnt say Im brilliant at any of them but I get enjoyment and fulfillment out of them and thats the most important thing to me.


    Oh I do speak Dutch (fluently)  some French and German and I read  and understand the Friesian dialect and read Danish (dont ask.. I dont understand that myself)

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    I try to be positive but I realise there is a line between optimistic and pure pollyanna thinking (

    For example I know there are horrible situations in the world and I do read things online but I havent boufght a newspaper for over 30 years because I got sick of reading nasty negative stories all the time. Thats not denial its simply not immersing myself in negativity.

    If I get rained on (like this morning) I can at least reason that if this has happened on the way home its positive because I can just get some dry clothes on and its not a disaster. There is nothing wrong with trying to see life with a positive outlook and happy people draw others to them miserable people push people away.

    There is one lady I know slightly because of her dog but I avoid her as much as possible because she tells you every ache and pain shes had  since you last saw her ,  how frayed her nerves are and how awful everything is and it really drags your mood down.

    You can be a realist without being cynical..


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    Funny that I am not sleeping well at the moment, I think it is a combination of the heat and early sunrises. Nice to sleep naked though for a while.

    I have had that problem too, as for the naked thing. Ive never understood why people feel the need to get fully dressed to go to bed! Although it does have advantages.There were serveral occasions last week when I would have loved to throw open my wndow and yell at someone but my state of undress prevented me.Last Saturday evening it was so hot and we finally trudged upstairs to bed at 11.30 . We got comfy and despite the sticky heat we finally dozed off…… At 1am some idiot was  in the street yelling at the top of their voice BYEEEE SEE YOU LATERRRR…. LOVLEY EVENING.. BYEEEEE BYEEEE. SEE YOU NEXT TIME BYYEEEE.. Along with the yelling is the high pitched screamy giggle of an obviously drunken woman, she sounded like a hyena on laughing gas.. It made the dogs jump and fearing an invasion by drunken hyenas on laughing gas they barked, which made us jump , so we unstuck ourselves from the sheet we had become attached to like bluebottles on a fly paper and stumbled to the window slamming it shut.. Peace returned but the temperature rose again…

    We collapsed back into bed and tried to find the cool spot so that we could hopefully get a couple of hours sleep..

    Then on Sunday it was about 2am when George started to growl being aware that no one likes a barking dog in the middle of the night I jumped up to shut the window and round the corner comes a man blowing one of those football trumpet things..

    Monday night neighbours two doors up were the culprits, she had guests and stood on the doorstep waving people goodbye at 5 minute intervals from about 12,30 until 01.15 and laughing like a cat with its tail caught in the door.

    The hair stood up on the back of my neck and my temper was at boiling point but I managed to calm myself and tried to get back to sleep.

    So heres a tip to anyone having guests, duct tape their mouths before they leave your house because it was only strict gun laws kept these people from having an backside full of bird shot for keeping me awake. (ps this also applies to the hosts)

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  cassandra. Reason: spelling
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    Although I’ve read about other incidents such as this, this is the latest:

    Just when teenage smoking was almost eliminated, companies come up with another way to get them hooked on something potentially harmful.

    I was in Germany on thursday. As I was getting into my car a car pulled up opposite me and an older lady got out followed by her grandchild, she vaped and blew out a huge cloud of sweet smelling  smoke. The child jumped up and down sniffing the sweet smoke and laughing.. I commented to my daughter that second hand smoking has never been as evil as this,  nicotine disguised in cotton candy and strawberry scent,,

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  cassandra.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by  cassandra. Reason: edit emoji

    I am always tired, the old joke about sleeping on a string ? Thats me I have fallen asleep in church, in cinemas, in restaurants between courses, on the loo and  even at my own birthday party. Its a medical thing and cant be helped.

    While Im up and moving Im fine and seem to have bags of energy but as soon as I sit still I fall asleep. I am careful when travelling in case I miss my stop on the train or my flight.. Really its that bad.

    As I have aged I have noticed I tend to wake in the night to pee but I can walk to the bathroom and back with one eye half open.So it doesnt really disturb me. It does get OH a bit upset when he goes to clean his teeth comes back and speaks to me only to find Im away in the land of nod..

    One thing I do love about my sleep is that I am blessed with something called vivid dreaming, this means my dreams are very very real.  I see, hear, and feel things, sometimes I have trouble when I wake up becuase Im not sure if something has happened or if I have dreamt it.

    But when its good its great.  I have had a lovely lunch with my father, (he died in 1985) the lawn had just been cut and as we sat on his balcony ( he never lived anywhere with a balcony) we could smell the fresh cut grass, the sun was shining on my face and when I woke up one side of my face was warm where the sun had been.

    When its bad (and this is why people say they suffer from vivid dreams) its really bad. In one dream I was stabbed and woke up gasping in physical pain clutching my cheast looking for the wound. There have been dreams where someone has died and I wake up crying and have to check FB to make sure its not true.

    All in all I have to say I love my sleep but I never have a lie in, at 6am summer (5 if its very hot) and 7am winter the alarm goes off and Im up and out with my dogs.



    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by  cassandra.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by  cassandra.
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